Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by buyingtech, Mar 30, 2018.
Thanks a lot for the advice bro..
I call this phenomenon "the train is leaving". A lot of nice, natural and healthy-on-beginning relationships ends up after 5 - 7 years if they don't develop into "next level" - marriage - with an appropriate "next level" things like children. Such relationship without serious commitment will sooner or later lost sense for one part because one part - in your case your GF - cannot fully realize his/her life goals whatever it is (women have instinct, biological need for a children).
Very accurate question is: Why you didn't get married after 6 years?
Thank God I never have girlfriend
As I've realised she hasn't got over it quickly, it's just that this has been coming for a long time and she's the only one whose seen it.
You've been blind to your flaws like I have, so when it hits that's because it's the end of it all for her, but it's breaking news for you.
She starts work for 1 year, I think they were students before
Well to be honest we never got married because we both didn't want too...she is kind of strange about that and kids so trust me this has nothing to do with kids...she always was afraid of having child and so on, i just feel bad because it happens so quickly and she acts like she is kind of happy....she messages me with something, i know it is hard for you, so i want to help you get through this easily because i feel bad for you...well if she felt bad then she wouldn't do it this way...as for the other guy, who knows...maybe she was with him maybe he came now knowing we are not together...i hate those kind of guys waiting for something to end and just to swoop there and be like charming guy
Ignoring her and pretending like you don't give a fuck will most likely make her come back to you.. She will be "but wait, he's not hurt? Omg i need to go back and try hurt him again"... That's how their brain works, fucked up really.. Btw if this is your first love, if it's the first girl you slept with, and if it's the same on her side, i really think it's better for you to move on and try things out. Try party life, hang out with other girls, just live your life as much as you can since you're 24 and those are the best years for everything! After you both exhaust from that type of life maybe you will get together again.. You never know buddy, but the most important thing is that being sad is totally okay for a man! I personally love to go out with friends and get all drunk and drugged when something like this happens. KEEP UP BUDDY!
Thanks for the comment! Yes you are right and i know that...but part of me is angry that she found this guy for dating only(that is what she says) so quickly...i just can't get this in my mind that she is open to that going with someone like nothing happened...sometimes i feel like she doesn't deserve me if she is doing that, and sometimes i think she is doing this out of some revenge because she wants to feel wanted again, because each time we spoke, before and now she told me that she can't fall in love anymore bla bla and that she will be careful now around men etc....but i don't know what to think :/
OP, all I can say to you is that I have been in a similar situation when I was young (23-24) and I handled it badly.
It is clear that from her point of view the relationship is over and you will need to respect that, no matter how much it hurts.
Give her space, don't contact her under any circumstances, if she contacts you then be supportive but don't try to resume the relationship.
You will need to try to stay positive and move on, take up some new interests where you meet new people and experience new things.
Even though it might feel your world has been blown apart, eventually you will get over her and meet somebody better.
Block her as that is only prolonging your pain.
What happened with you when you were 23-24?
You can PM me too...i really feel better when i see other commenting and saying nice stuff about this and not making fun :/
All I will say is that the next 6-12 months will probably be very tough for you but you will get over it.
The tricky part will be not behaving like a dick or a sad stalker, you need to socialise with friends or even better meet some new people.
Take up a new hobby, fill your time, so that when you aren't working you aren't sitting thinking about her and thinking about contacting her.
I messed things up so that I think my ex really did hate me at the end, and it is hard to know that the person you loved hates you.
If you give her the space now and show her you are moving on with your life then you might still stay friends in the future, but for now you should cut all contact.
Probably all of us had these type of things, what i have learned so far: don't waste your time hoping that you both will be couple again, things don't work like that, lets be clear, she doesn't want you, your story is very same as mine, just ignore her, she choosed her way and you should move on, move on and forget about it, start something you've always dreamed, meet new people, live your life and don't let her to manipulate your emotions.
Time will cure
Be happy, and find something better, you will.
OP go lift, next her and spin more plates
1) Block her and do not communicate with her at all. Remove all pictures, and any memories that you have left. Move to a new apartment if you need to.
2) Go to the gym, eat healthy, and focus on improving your life. Do not start drinking.
3) Read the book "The way of the superior man" by David Deida and other books on relationships. Study female psychology, so you will better handle your relationship with the next person.
It's easier said than done, and breakups are some of the most painful things people living in the 1st world countries have to go through. In life, there is pleasure and there is pain - they are two sides of the same coin. I am sorry for your situation and wish you the best. Remember that pain is temporary, and it's there for a reason. Without pain, there is no growth. Feel free to pm if you want any advice.
If you haven't make some money, get busy my friend. When you are damn okay, I mean with cool cash, good girls will come.
By that time, pick and get married.
Life is too precious to waste.
I feel really pitty for you, hope you find someone better than her
My main anger is now that she left me message yesterday like she will go out for drinks etc with that guy who is writing to her..and i am angry because i know she will be with him and kiss him or make out or whatever and like something is tearing me apart..i don't even know who is that guy and it looks like she wanted this break up just to be with him or someone else and like she hopes she will enjoy that so soon...
and i also thought a lot, if that was true...then i would fee a lot of pain even if she wanted me to be back together i wouldn't want because of this anger i feel..it is not jealousy but more of anger knowing she is capable of doing this now after all that time...like she is acting happy that is my anger :/
I can't think of another girl right now, to be happy etc...but she is either happy or she wants to do it on purpose for i don't know what reason...
Stupid women...i know guys are troubled too, but fuck they are really bitches.
As the person in my avatar once said : " what people calls "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing relationship. Break the cycle. Rise above. Focus on IM."
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