My gf left me after loooong time :(

[Phoenion]

Yeah I get you, honestly you just have to move on. All of this getting in your feelings is nice, but eventually you have to be real with yourself and know she's not coming back - if she is don't get back together with her.

Delete her (don't block) off of everything and get back out there. Achieve financial success, make business moves. A lot of guys I know claim to have good game with women, and get finessed out of their money via a marriage then divorce. Don't be like that, use your head

Thanks a lot for the advice bro..

 

[Zwielicht]

The seven-year-itch.

 

[jasom]

I call this phenomenon "the train is leaving". A lot of nice, natural and healthy-on-beginning relationships ends up after 5 - 7 years if they don't develop into "next level" - marriage - with an appropriate "next level" things like children. Such relationship without serious commitment will sooner or later lost sense for one part because one part - in your case your GF - cannot fully realize his/her life goals whatever it is (women have instinct, biological need for a children).

Very accurate question is: Why you didn't get married after 6 years?

 

[Jklmno]

Thank God I never have girlfriend

 

[ttmschine]

Worst thing here is that she acts now like she got over this quickly

As I've realised she hasn't got over it quickly, it's just that this has been coming for a long time and she's the only one whose seen it.

You've been blind to your flaws like I have, so when it hits that's because it's the end of it all for her, but it's breaking news for you.

 

[-Sylar-]

I call this phenomenon "the train is leaving". A lot of nice, natural and healthy-on-beginning relationships ends up after 5 - 7 years if they don't develop into "next level" - marriage - with an appropriate "next level" things like children. Such relationship without serious commitment will sooner or later lost sense for one part because one part - in your case your GF - cannot fully realize his/her life goals whatever it is (women have instinct, biological need for a children).

Very accurate question is: Why you didn't get married after 6 years?

She starts work for 1 year, I think they were students before

 

[buyingtech]

Well to be honest we never got married because we both didn't want too...she is kind of strange about that and kids so trust me this has nothing to do with kids...she always was afraid of having child and so on, i just feel bad because it happens so quickly and she acts like she is kind of happy....she messages me with something, i know it is hard for you, so i want to help you get through this easily because i feel bad for you...well if she felt bad then she wouldn't do it this way...as for the other guy, who knows...maybe she was with him maybe he came now knowing we are not together...i hate those kind of guys waiting for something to end and just to swoop there and be like charming guy

 

[SpawneR]

Ignoring her and pretending like you don't give a fuck will most likely make her come back to you.. She will be "but wait, he's not hurt? Omg i need to go back and try hurt him again"... That's how their brain works, fucked up really.. Btw if this is your first love, if it's the first girl you slept with, and if it's the same on her side, i really think it's better for you to move on and try things out. Try party life, hang out with other girls, just live your life as much as you can since you're 24 and those are the best years for everything! After you both exhaust from that type of life maybe you will get together again.. You never know buddy, but the most important thing is that being sad is totally okay for a man! I personally love to go out with friends and get all drunk and drugged when something like this happens. KEEP UP BUDDY!

 

[buyingtech]

Ignoring her and pretending like you don't give a fuck will most likely make her come back to you.. She will be "but wait, he's not hurt? Omg i need to go back and try hurt him again"... That's how their brain works, fucked up really.. Btw if this is your first love, if it's the first girl you slept with, and if it's the same on her side, i really think it's better for you to move on and try things out. Try party life, hang out with other girls, just live your life as much as you can since you're 24 and those are the best years for everything! After you both exhaust from that type of life maybe you will get together again.. You never know buddy, but the most important thing is that being sad is totally okay for a man! I personally love to go out with friends and get all drunk and drugged when something like this happens. KEEP UP BUDDY!

Thanks for the comment! Yes you are right and i know that...but part of me is angry that she found this guy for dating only(that is what she says) so quickly...i just can't get this in my mind that she is open to that going with someone like nothing happened...sometimes i feel like she doesn't deserve me if she is doing that, and sometimes i think she is doing this out of some revenge because she wants to feel wanted again, because each time we spoke, before and now she told me that she can't fall in love anymore bla bla and that she will be careful now around men etc....but i don't know what to think :/

 

[Wilson Grant Fisk]

OP, all I can say to you is that I have been in a similar situation when I was young (23-24) and I handled it badly.
It is clear that from her point of view the relationship is over and you will need to respect that, no matter how much it hurts.
Give her space, don't contact her under any circumstances, if she contacts you then be supportive but don't try to resume the relationship.
You will need to try to stay positive and move on, take up some new interests where you meet new people and experience new things.
Even though it might feel your world has been blown apart, eventually you will get over her and meet somebody better.

 

[BassTrackerBoats]

she messages me with something, i know it is hard for you, so i want to help you get through this easily because i feel bad for you

Block her as that is only prolonging your pain.

 

[buyingtech]

OP, all I can say to you is that I have been in a similar situation when I was young (23-24) and I handled it badly.
It is clear that from her point of view the relationship is over and you will need to respect that, no matter how much it hurts.
Give her space, don't contact her under any circumstances, if she contacts you then be supportive but don't try to resume the relationship.
You will need to try to stay positive and move on, take up some new interests where you meet new people and experience new things.
Even though it might feel your world has been blown apart, eventually you will get over her and meet somebody better.

What happened with you when you were 23-24?
You can PM me too...i really feel better when i see other commenting and saying nice stuff about this and not making fun :/

 

[Wilson Grant Fisk]

What happened with you when you were 23-24?
You can PM me too...i really feel better when i see other commenting and saying nice stuff about this and not making fun :/

All I will say is that the next 6-12 months will probably be very tough for you but you will get over it.
The tricky part will be not behaving like a dick or a sad stalker, you need to socialise with friends or even better meet some new people.
Take up a new hobby, fill your time, so that when you aren't working you aren't sitting thinking about her and thinking about contacting her.
I messed things up so that I think my ex really did hate me at the end, and it is hard to know that the person you loved hates you.
If you give her the space now and show her you are moving on with your life then you might still stay friends in the future, but for now you should cut all contact.

 

[hitthefloor]

Probably all of us had these type of things, what i have learned so far: don't waste your time hoping that you both will be couple again, things don't work like that, lets be clear, she doesn't want you, your story is very same as mine, just ignore her, she choosed her way and you should move on, move on and forget about it, start something you've always dreamed, meet new people, live your life and don't let her to manipulate your emotions.

Time will cure

Be happy, and find something better, you will.

 

[aidenhera]

After long time i don't even have courage to say how many years(but over 6 years), my gf left me because she said that she wants to try to move on and find someone who she thinks is for her...like our relationship didn't go, etc...although she is right 10% for that i am not ok for that and i am very bumped now...it has been over 10 days now but i still can't get over that..
I feel in love when i was only 18 years old with this girl and she was older then me few years, but i never wanted this to be obstacle with us and she agreed and everything was going out nicely..we had fights here and then but never to the point that i leave her or that she leaves me for good...we had minor breakups for 1-2 days but eventually all came to happy ending....but now after she told me let's go only on break to see how it works out, i agreed and after 10 days she said no i said break up for good and not like pause....so i asked why etc and she said she don't want to go back to old things(me) and that she wants to find someone who is more fit for here sort of speak and i recently found out that some guy from work where she works, is hitting on her and that she agreed to go out with him to see if he is good...that is even more stressful for me and my feelings.

I still love her and she knows that, but she is acting now like she is hurt for some reason and like her feelings are hurt etc and she wants something new....i know for sure that people from work told her that this is good and that she should move on, even though that is not their business because i am not like that...

I feel like someone told her to do this and she is acting all weird etc, because in this period when we were together, neither of us cheated that was for sure...like i said we had fights like all couples do but never to this point. And she broke this somehow saying okay listen it is better if we are on pause...and we were and then she said no no i meant break up there is no pause bla bla and like she is over more, like for months she was preparing etc...My only thought is that for months she was maybe seeing or talking with that other guy or with someone else but she didn't tell me that or i don't know, my head is in mess now

Anyhow, i wanted to share this with you, since lot of you have similar feelings and similar past relationships and i really want to hear what you have to say.

Sorry for longer text...

OP go lift, next her and spin more plates

 

[hitoall9310]

1) Block her and do not communicate with her at all. Remove all pictures, and any memories that you have left. Move to a new apartment if you need to.
2) Go to the gym, eat healthy, and focus on improving your life. Do not start drinking.
3) Read the book "The way of the superior man" by David Deida and other books on relationships. Study female psychology, so you will better handle your relationship with the next person.

It's easier said than done, and breakups are some of the most painful things people living in the 1st world countries have to go through. In life, there is pleasure and there is pain - they are two sides of the same coin. I am sorry for your situation and wish you the best. Remember that pain is temporary, and it's there for a reason. Without pain, there is no growth. Feel free to pm if you want any advice.

 

[Speed23]

If you haven't make some money, get busy my friend. When you are damn okay, I mean with cool cash, good girls will come.
By that time, pick and get married.
Life is too precious to waste.

 

[ILovePorsche]

I feel really pitty for you, hope you find someone better than her

 

[buyingtech]

My main anger is now that she left me message yesterday like she will go out for drinks etc with that guy who is writing to her..and i am angry because i know she will be with him and kiss him or make out or whatever and like something is tearing me apart..i don't even know who is that guy and it looks like she wanted this break up just to be with him or someone else and like she hopes she will enjoy that so soon...
and i also thought a lot, if that was true...then i would fee a lot of pain even if she wanted me to be back together i wouldn't want because of this anger i feel..it is not jealousy but more of anger knowing she is capable of doing this now after all that time...like she is acting happy that is my anger :/
I can't think of another girl right now, to be happy etc...but she is either happy or she wants to do it on purpose for i don't know what reason...
Stupid women...i know guys are troubled too, but fuck they are really bitches.

 

[yuuzokun]

As the person in my avatar once said : " what people calls "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing relationship. Break the cycle. Rise above. Focus on IM."