Hey Guys! - What do you about this? NSFW

Honestly...

Made me cringe. Hard. :)

The idea might not be bad (despite the staleness of the whole "sex sells" stream), but damn.. that was some terribad acting. :)

She seemed completely uninterested, uninvolved, and emotionless... from monotonous intro speech to the key moment at 0:15 when she's looking at camera with deadpan expression and starting to undress, only to nervously divert gaze somewhere into distance and zone out in the middle of the sentence.

Didn't want to be the only critic in a thread full of praise, but I had to say it, this just feels really off. Incongruence between message and delivery; message — "spice things up with our copywriting services", delivery — "meh, whatever, I'd rather be elsewhere". I'm quite sure most of the surfers will feel the same about the video.
 
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH



That's too funny :P Need better cam/mic :P Doesn't look professional enough without it

90% of viral videos are filmed with normal camera and never made professionally :)

Honestly...

Made me cringe. Hard. :)

The idea might not be bad (despite the staleness of the whole "sex sells" stream), but damn.. that was some terribad acting. :)

She seemed completely uninterested, uninvolved, and emotionless... from monotonous intro speech to the key moment at 0:15 when she's looking at camera with deadpan expression and starting to undress, only to nervously divert gaze somewhere into distance and zone out in the middle of the sentence.

Didn't want to be the only critic in a thread full of praise, but I had to say it, this just feels really off. Incongruence between message and delivery; message — "spice things up with our copywriting services", delivery — "meh, whatever, I'd rather be elsewhere". I'm quite sure most of the surfers will feel the same about the video.


Fair enough.

Thanks
 
Honestly...

Made me cringe. Hard. :)

The idea might not be bad (despite the staleness of the whole "sex sells" stream), but damn.. that was some terribad acting. :)

She seemed completely uninterested, uninvolved, and emotionless... from monotonous intro speech to the key moment at 0:15 when she's looking at camera with deadpan expression and starting to undress, only to nervously divert gaze somewhere into distance and zone out in the middle of the sentence.

Didn't want to be the only critic in a thread full of praise, but I had to say it, this just feels really off. Incongruence between message and delivery; message — "spice things up with our copywriting services", delivery — "meh, whatever, I'd rather be elsewhere". I'm quite sure most of the surfers will feel the same about the video.

He tried to get Gwyneth Paltrow, but she wanted him to buy two gigs.
 
A little rough. Good idea, but a little rough. Too much noise on the audio. Also the business attire to bikini transition doesn't work in an office environment. It would have been better if she went to bra & panties. The classy, Victoria Secret kind. Black lace.

She's got most of the acting she needs, except the negligent tossing of the top was off. Not right. She's more in the genre of the hot blonde dominatrix vs. the hot beach bunny, so that gesture was also not exactly right. The top comes off deliberately and gets tossed away with deliberation and not negligently.

The hair also needs to transition, from severe and business bun to down. That's a big deal for men. The hair has to start off up, and then come down. A few extra seconds and a few more words won't make much difference in terms of length.

The blouse was also wrong. Too "poofy", and no sharp lines in it where there should be. And the buttons take too long. Snaps, one at a time, and fast, would be better. The camera was too high. It makes her seem small, when the opposite effect is desired. Her gaze should be slightly downward to the camera. And no need to point at the "you". It's a pseudo porn movie. There's only one man in her whole universe, so there's no need to point at him.

Also, she needs to take control of her voice more. She's either in charge, or she's not. (I say she is.) There's no soft little girl in this thing at all. And the slap on the ass well I'm 50/50 as far as if I think it should stay. It's a good sound, makes the hot chick seem more real (SLAP!), but again doesn't really fit.

Finally, and most importantly you have to have the URL of the business superimposed as a graphic.

Wow man! That is intense! ... NIce try OP but I think if you take these suggestions make it awesomer , there might be a good chance it might go viral ( atleast in the IM community ).
 
Wow man! That is intense! ... NIce try OP but I think if you take these suggestions make it awesomer , there might be a good chance it might go viral ( atleast in the IM community ).


Thanks.

I think you have to find a fine line between making it look and sound believable and not making it look too professional.

I'm by no means a viral marketing expert like some of the lawry's that posted here, but I think it was a good first attempt :) & I'm happy with the results considering how much it cost to make the clip.
 
Last edited:
I had to watch it a second time to figure out what she was saying. I also had to turn my laptop around because I would have been distracted if I didn't :D
 
I had to watch it a second time to figure out what she was saying. I also had to turn my laptop around because I would have been distracted if I didn't :D


LOL :)

Glad it had a positive effect on you! At least it will make you remember the video. And the subconscious branding of Money Site Content.
 
I laughed through the whole video. Looks totally scripted and seems like its the very first time this girl has done something like this before. Make it look more natural.
 
I have to spread some rep. around :( .... Thanks for the share!

Yeah... that is the point. It has to stop leaving the viewer wanting more :)



Sorry, Are you talking about Wrestling ?? What is TNA - total none action wrestling ??



He knows ^^! :)




Oh... music could set the tone....either in a good way or bad. I could not think of a track to add, any suggestion.

Sure:)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Ahaha very nice! Ask if she's got a desk though that's all I think it needs or something like a big filing cabinet in the background.

Thanks for showing us though, it gave me a laugh!
 
I laughed through the whole video. Looks totally scripted and seems like its the very first time this girl has done something like this before. Make it look more natural.
NOOO the fact that she's so awkward makes it funny which is what's necessary to get the views.
 
OP were you watching Naked News when you got idea for this?


Nah... we all know as markers that sex sells... I was just surfing on fiverr.com and she caught my attention. I watched some of her videos and I thought to myself I could probably use one of her videos to create some buzz about my website. :P So I ordered a couple of gigs and the final result was that video.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top