I don’t know but I am not able to do the work, it feels like I am stuck both mentally physically, and mentally at this level where all I do is just play pubg and watch youtube videos.
From the last 2-3 months, I have just started things and left them in between, I have good knowledge of Digital marketing, ico market and I have also helped many friends of mine in their ad campaign and learning dm but somehow I am not able to do work myself.
I am earning good because i resell some services and i even bought a laptop of $1000 thought it will bring the motivation out of me but it's been 20 days and i have still done nothing.
Not just mentally, physically I am also stuck, I am overweight for the last 2 years.
All I need is to just get out of this life and make the best of it because that’s like the person I am.
Please help!
Sometimes, people just need a spoon of reality.
I'm not going to tell you what to do, no one should, every mind has a different set and what works for them does not necessarilly works for you.
I'm going to tell you a bit about my self and i hope the message gets to you and you figure out what to do.
Let's start by saying that i'm literally stuck, stuck in a country where i don't belong. I'm from Venezuela and i came to Colombia to visit my mum, she was sick and needed help with my litle sister. So i came here, and guess what? Corona time.
I've been stuck for 5 month with no job, no computer of my own (the one that im currently using it's a 2009 elder with 2gb of ram - compared to yours 1000$ pc, i think you can fly) and the border is still close. But the story does not ends there. I used to have a gf back in Venezuela, i thought for a moment that she was the real deal but destiny did not thinked the same. I broke with her, i could not stand the distance between us, the communication was getting monotomous and laggy so i did what i had to do. We were together for about 6 months, you may say, man that's a short time compared to my relatioship.
Well, let me tell you another story. Just keep in mind that i'm 24yo rigth now.
When i was 18, i left Venezuela on a trip with my first gf, at the moment we had like 3 years together. We emigrate to Ecuador thinking that we may find better chances of living than Venezuela could offer.
We were young, naive and weak and none of us had any skills. The shit hit the fan pretty quickly. I got a job as a waiter at a local restaurant earning about 20$ a day 4 times a weak from 7pm to 4pm, by myself i could not hold the economy of both for too long.
Guess what? She did not wanted to take a regular job, she wanted to make easy money. So she got in contact with a scorting agency and she started working as scort with a fee of 250$/h (yeah, she was a georgeus curly haired real morena with green eyes and guittar silhouette).
When she told me this, i got broken in so many parts that is has been 6 years from that moment and i am still fixing what it was broken. Sometimes feelings and thoughts invade my head about those days and make me feel guilty that i did not tried harder, i should had found a second job, or avoid that situation at any cost.
I should've seen the signs, the alerts of this self destructive conduct but it was too late.
Those days cost her a lot, so she decided to blur her mind with drugs. I kept by her side as long as i could, for me she was the litle girl that make me goose bumps everytime i saw her. But it was too much, prostitution, drugs, she had became into a different entity that i did not became aware of until she decided to walk away.
That particular moment gave me time to think, to open my eyes and to feel something again even if i used drugs. I was not concious at that moment about the damage on my psyche. Rigth now i now that i had some kind of PTSD, social ansiety and insecurity with women, and feelt intimidated by men.
It's hard for me to tell you this, but i'm letting go some steam off too.
Today, despite i'm literally stuck, i feel good with myself. I decided to start an online bussiness and i've bougth my first two domains, and my goal is to have a living from internet. Hard work but smart hard work.
I hope you get better bro, you deserve it. You worth it.
