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Google and Girlfriend - amazingly similar behaviour

Discussion in 'Black Hat SEO' started by mahnazkut, Mar 8, 2014.

  1. mahnazkut

    mahnazkut Junior Member

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    I have realized that Google search engine and my girlfriend behaves ironically similar!
    I would like to share some of the points with you. If you like, add more:


    • I can never predict or know exactly what she wants. Similarly, I could not know what Google wants from me to rank.
    • If I push too hard She runs away. I have to pretend that I am not desperate about her. SEO success in Google needs hard work but also you don't want to look like you are trying too hard.
    • Every once in a month she needs an "update". During this period, she behaves even worse and unpredictable. Google does same (penguin, panda, Algorithm updates..)
    • She hates to be cheated or lied, obviously. Even I am not cheating she could still get paranoid and crazy. Cheating your way to high rankings on Google won't work, and even if it does for short period, you can be penalized for long. Even you are not cheating, Google can get paranoid and still slap you!
    • I have to be patient to get her love me, If I rush things it won't work. Also to rank on Google you have to wait and be patient.
    • I love her and even I complain about her, I cannot live without her. We all webmasters complain about google but can't quit.


      Albert Einstein's definition of INSANITY : "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
      For Google; If you do "The same things" to rank , it would give you different results!! You have to be Insane to be a SEO, believing doing the same f*ng thing but expecting different outcome.
     
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    Last edited: Mar 8, 2014
  2. Gyuman82

    Gyuman82 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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  3. qrazy

    qrazy Senior Member

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    That's why you must have more than one girlfriend...
     
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    Last edited: Mar 8, 2014
  4. mahnazkut

    mahnazkut Junior Member

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    but u must keep one favourite at least :)
     
  5. impishme84

    impishme84 Junior Member

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    Some collation up there man... you either took the driver's seat with them or trying to make your life a better place to live :p
     
  6. tushar3

    tushar3 Registered Member

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    girl
    ghost in real life

    you can not fuck google and you can't search on gf
     
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  7. mahnazkut

    mahnazkut Junior Member

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    Both google and Gf can easily drive you crazy.
     
  8. umerjutt00

    umerjutt00 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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  9. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Premium Member

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    Agree, the Wife just took manual action, deindexed and penalised me.
     
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  10. prab1996

    prab1996 Elite Member

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    your gf's <3 ♥♥♥♥
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    never put all eggs in one basket.
    -=-
    don't say that your gf loves matt cutts. (google loves him)
     
  11. BigBoris

    BigBoris Regular Member

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    Ha, probably penalized because you have the same bio on all your dating sites ;), no backlink diversity mate tut tut
     
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  12. assenal

    assenal Registered Member

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    Google pays twitter to rank twitter, that's kind of girl-like shit
     
  13. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    But can Google do the dishes?
     
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  14. mahnazkut

    mahnazkut Junior Member

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    But can Google do the dishes?
    Neither She does anyway..;)
     
  15. jayrat14

    jayrat14 Senior Member

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    Haha nice one.... but No alternative for google so far.
     
  16. Biznik

    Biznik Regular Member

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    Social, referral, direct type-in, advertising... should I go on?
     
  17. antichrist

    antichrist Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I wish Google could make me a sammich.
     
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  18. lalit_burma

    lalit_burma Senior Member

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    Another one -

    During bachelor hood we always keep looking other girls and similarly for Google we keep looking for other sources of traffic :)
     
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  19. InsanelySane

    InsanelySane Power Member

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    Google and women should be the same.

    You'll get on top of both of them if you have money.
     
  20. tushar3

    tushar3 Registered Member

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    Another One

    Google don't have Boobs but have G O O G L E looks like boobies
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2014