Don't ever get married

Heiko said:

Really dude? You are doing something that you don't want to do/got forced to do?
Dude, if you don't want to get married right now or in several years than tell that your girlfriend. She will either understand or dump you. Either way, it's a win-win situation because you got what you wanted.

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You got me. Family pressure, girlfriend issue, and so other circumstances. There is no way getting back now. I am not afraid; I am not just ready. But let's see how it goes.

nichexposure said:

OP you should write this post couple of months ago. I am done and going to end my life in August (meant getting married). I pray for me every day now and then.

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damn dude focus on your amazon affiliate journey what are you doing here

I'm female and I agree. To hell with getting married.

At the same time, I don't exactly feel entirely sorry for people who end up with horrible partners. 99% of the divorcees I've seen all the signs were there when the two first met. Don't date a materialistic party girl if you don't want her to sleep with other guys and steal all your shit when she decides to leave you. The same "cool" "wild" traits you liked...are going to be the same ones you don't like when you're no longer the focus of her attention.

Same for men, if a guy cheats on some other girl for you...don't be shocked when he does the same crap to you later on. People don't really change.

blacksharks said:

damn dude focus on your amazon affiliate journey what are you doing here

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Haha thanks, buddy. Yeah started working on it already and planning to update the journey thread each week.

nichexposure said:

You got me. Family pressure, girlfriend issue, and so other circumstances. There is no way getting back now. I am not afraid; I am not just ready. But let's see how it goes.

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I don't wanna talk you out of it but what i am reading doesn't sound that good to me. That's a commitment for life and if you are not 100% sure about it, you will get kicked in the nuts so fucking bad. And if you are not ready (and this is my personal opinion) then i would never do something like this. You are letting people and circumstances control you and your life. That is not a happy and fullfilling life and sooner or later that will backfire on you.

Vexxxed said:

Same for men, if a guy cheats on some other girl for you...don't be shocked when he does the same crap to you later on. People don't really change.

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It's sad. People that cheat will never change, because that is their worldview. Their worldview is that every person is like this and that's why you can never trust a cheater. Because once things go sideways they will look for someone else to hook up and have fun with.

I have been married twice. Both marriages were great while they lasted, but things change and people move on.

Now my new motto is: "A different day, a different wife." It keeps things interesting that way.

Heiko said:

I don't wanna talk you out of it but what i am reading doesn't sound that good to me. That's a commitment for life and if you are not 100% sure about it, you will get kicked in the nuts so fucking bad. And if you are not ready (and this is my personal opinion) then i would never do something like this. You are letting people and circumstances control you and your life. That is not a happy and fullfilling life and sooner or later that will backfire on you.

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Yeah completely agreed. I am not ready means I am ready in all perspective. Like I have a home, running the business, earning the decent amount and all. Just not prepared mentally to settle down. Not letting people control me but you know sometimes you need to flow with the waves. Thanks for your suggestion bud, really appreciate it. And hope for best

ttmschine said:

Because if you then end up getting divorced, it's Hell.

And women can bear a grudge and be nasty far better than we can.

As you can tell, I'm getting divorced, and I'm as miserable as flip with it all

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Just hang in there, a new bus pulls up every 10 minutes. Get your business affairs in order. Focus on your business and you will be fine.

nichexposure said:

Yeah completely agreed. I am not ready means I am ready in all perspective. Like I have a home, running the business, earning the decent amount and all. Just not prepared mentally to settle down. Not letting people control me but you know sometimes you need to flow with the waves. Thanks for your suggestion bud, really appreciate it. And hope for best

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Marriage is not about one partner controlling the other partner.

ExperimentalSEO said:

So many cults like MGTOW go on about how the divorce rate is so high, however they don't like to talk about how the man cheating, financial issues, and addictions make up a large portion of it.

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Sure

Never saw that many thanks given to each post in a single thread... But Good Luck OP ... Marriage is a like a script or in complex an algorithm of two different brains running on simultaneously different paths but while holding each other. She got distracted and started spend more time outside may be because something her mind bugged her about you. Or there was something else or or or or ... you can see and already read so many or in your thread, so you can understand by simply putting up a common sense that something somewhere some code got bugged and it slowly slowly ruined your whole marriage life and now you are on to this stage of getting separated.

I hope you find peace and don't stop loving and talking to your kids. This is the first step of depression on early ages of every kid. GOOD LUCK

Vexxxed said:

I'm female and I agree. To hell with getting married.

At the same time, I don't exactly feel entirely sorry for people who end up with horrible partners. 99% of the divorcees I've seen all the signs were there when the two first met. Don't date a materialistic party girl if you don't want her to sleep with other guys and steal all your shit when she decides to leave you. The same "cool" "wild" traits you liked...are going to be the same ones you don't like when you're no longer the focus of her attention.

Same for men, if a guy cheats on some other girl for you...don't be shocked when he does the same crap to you later on. People don't really change.

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I think the thing with my wife is that she's one of those people who always finds the negatives in every situation, she finds the things she doesn't like and focuses totally on them - then when something shiny and new comes along she feels drawn to that, until she realises it isn't all she thought it was.

For example it's what she's like with jobs - she starts and it's all amazing, the people are all great, and she throws herself into it 100%.

But before long she hates the job and the people are all assholes and she leaves.

She's 43 and the longest time she's ever held down a job is 18 months.

The job she's in now is she thinks the best job she's ever had, everyone is amazing, everyone thinks she's amazing - she's been there for 12 months...

It won't be long before she's getting fed up, especially since she was so enthusiastic they've conned her into taking over running the union there - which takes up loads of time and you don't get paid for it - which is why no-one else wants to do it.

So you can see what's going to happen - she's going to burn herself out and then start hating it, then want to move on, but this time she'll be stuck because I won't be there to fall back on, and she won't be able to afford to leave.

I'm sure that's why she started hyperventilating and freaking out when I said "right, I'm starting divorce proceedings" 3 weeks after I'd thrown her out.

Prior to that she was adamant we were over and that was that - when I mentioned divorce she said "can't we just leave it for a few years?" LoL.

I think she thought she'd see how the shiny new life pans out, and if it all goes wrong she'd come back.

yeah OP you fucked up pretty bad depending on where u live she can take half ur shit and probably the kids too. you need to learn it isnt ur girl it just ur turn. you fucked up because if i had a wife you have to teach her shit about her hyper game. like what i mean by this is women subconsciously do things or react to certain situations in a certain way. she for sure lost attraction to you and was probably with you for this long because of the kids. but yeah you need some sort of proof to show to the courts or just disapeer but if you're the one bringing all the dough in best believe she thinking of taking half your shit.

I feel sorry for you because women have power in this type of situation she could literally lie her teeth off and still win. sorry buddy i would run away to be honest or set her up and make her look like an unfit parent for the kids then switch states.

ttmschine said:

Because if you then end up getting divorced, it's Hell.

And women can bear a grudge and be nasty far better than we can.

As you can tell, I'm getting divorced, and I'm as miserable as flip with it all

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Welcome in the real world

bigvision said:

yeah OP you fucked up pretty bad depending on where u live she can take half ur shit and probably the kids too. you need to learn it isnt ur girl it just ur turn. you fucked up because if i had a wife you have to teach her shit about her hyper game. like what i mean by this is women subconsciously do things or react to certain situations in a certain way. she for sure lost attraction to you and was probably with you for this long because of the kids. but yeah you need some sort of proof to show to the courts or just disapeer but if you're the one bringing all the dough in best believe she thinking of taking half your shit.

I feel sorry for you because women have power in this type of situation she could literally lie her teeth off and still win. sorry buddy i would run away to be honest or set her up and make her look like an unfit parent for the kids then switch states.

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Actually here in the UK (according to my lawyers) they've shut down a load of the courts that deal with divorce, and they do not want anything to do with dealing with kids unless it's absolutely essential - since there's such a backlog.

Our kids are old enough to decide for themselves, and fortunately for me between the 2 of them I'll have them at least 75% of the time.

Also the finances are split really fairly - since on paper I make a lot less than her, and can therefore borrow less for a mortgage, I'll get a bigger split of the equity, especially since I'm also 6 years older than her too.

So I'll come away with c.60%, the kids for most of the time, and she'll be paying maintenance to me, and I'll get to claim tax credits too - so I'll be much better off than I am now, and the kids will be too.

When she's got to manage a job, a mortgage, her finances (which is is hopeless at), look after the kids when she has them, etc - I think she'll realise that things weren't anywhere near as bad as she thought they were.

I feel sorry for her in a way, because all of this I think is down to her fucked up family and the shit they put her through when her parents split up.

The tales I could tell you about that - her mum kicked her out when she was 16, after she'd held it all together for her mum and 2 sisters - which is probably why she is on the one hand terrified of rejection, and yet on the other hand always pushing to cause us to split up, because she thinks its all going to go wrong at some point anyway.

Well now it has because I just couldn't take it any more.

ttmschine said:

Actually here in the UK (according to my lawyers) they've shut down a load of the courts that deal with divorce, and they do not want anything to do with dealing with kids unless it's absolutely essential - since there's such a backlog.

Our kids are old enough to decide for themselves, and fortunately for me between the 2 of them I'll have them at least 75% of the time.

Also the finances are split really fairly - since on paper I make a lot less than her, and can therefore borrow less for a mortgage, I'll get a bigger split of the equity, especially since I'm also 6 years older than her too.

So I'll come away with c.60%, the kids for most of the time, and she'll be paying maintenance to me, and I'll get to claim tax credits too - so I'll be much better off than I am now, and the kids will be too.

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you still lost bro if she taking a penny of your income bro you have to understand that this girls is narcissistic as fuck she probably is lost if i had a wife for that long i would teach her about spirituality because maybe then she would have some morals but the way she acting is because you triggered something in her subconscious and her hoe friends are probably out there sucking cock you honestly dont know but anyway you can make the money back but i look at it like throwing money off a building because she obviously spending the money on her self. anyway reddit.com/r/theredpill(the material there apply for both men and women)has a lot of content that will help you find a better wife and this time i recommended actually teaching her like what i would do with my wife is. read about the shit test part thats very important you probably kept on failing her shit tests.

i would help her induce an ego death then she will have this intelligence from another place after that she'll be more aware of her actions and will actually be long term relationship material.

marriage only ends 1 way, the misses drops hints now and then but i just shrug it off, seen to many friends fall into that bear trap face first.
Worse case scenerio i end up single but for me thats better than the alternative of working my balls off trying to please a whiny wife who's never happy, oh and did i mention once a week sex.... think ill give that one a miss lol

I have heard people say "Marriage is a great institution", but they forget that federal prisons and mental hospitals are also called "institutions."

WizGizmo said:

I have heard people say "Marriage is a great institution", but they forget that federal prisons and mental hospitals are also called "institutions."

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I think H. L. Mencken hit the nail on the head: “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”

There is a lot of negativity in this thread. Maybe instead of "don't ever get married" it should be "don't get married to the wrong person".

That seems like it fixes 99.99% of the issues in this thread.