How would you rate this writing?

[Meerakat]

"It was first featured as Chris Paul's twelfth signature shoe, “Jordan
CP3.II” came out with a bang in the year 2009. Having similarity in
its color pattern from Air Jordan CP3, we can say it might be one of
the best NBA shoes ever released.

It is also available in many patterns — such as Black and Metallic
Silver, Black, Sun-stone and White pair. This best basketball shoe has
got your ankle area covered using comfortable Achilles support pads
which is furthermore accompanied by NuFoam ankle area providing the
finest comfy fit ever.

What many people like about this shoe is that its cushioning system is
great. In addition, the heel area of the shoe uses injected Phylon
which gives you a comfortable feeling in the heel section. This shoe
moreover gives you a reliable traction both indoors and outdoors as
its Chevron pattern is more truculent and its deeper ridges gives the
shoe a much better control while playing Basketball or indulging in
any other sports activities."

I was looking for a product description writer and he sent me this sample.

 

[GringoMonkey]

It does not flow in a natural way, so it is either a non native english speaker or automated content.

 

[BassTrackerBoats]

Looks like a bunch of fluff.

 

[GringoMonkey]

Looks like a bunch of fluff.

Lol, i did not think just saying "it's shit", was constructive for the op

 

[SirLouen]

This best basketball shoe has got your ankle area covered

English is not my primary language, but I would never write such a complex, and at the same time, weird sentence. It seems a literal content translation word by word.

 

[Meerakat]

I guess I need to increase my budget

 

[Stitches and Burns]

Looks like ESL or non-native. It doesn't flow naturally, has some grammatical errors like "its deeper ridges gives" and some weird wording like "more truculent," "moreover," "finest comfy fit" etc...

 

[BassTrackerBoats]

Lol, i did not think just saying "it's shit", was constructive for the op

Example of it being filler/fluff material:

In addition, the heel area of the shoe uses injected Phylon
which gives you a comfortable feeling in the heel section. This shoe
moreover gives you a reliable traction both indoors and outdoors as
its Chevron pattern is more truculent

That is just filler, and does not relate to the common man who is the targeted client.

More of the same:

which is furthermore accompanied by NuFoam ankle area providing the
finest comfy fit ever

He's not writing a review that would convert into sales for the buyer of his content, he is filling the page with words to get conversions in his own pocket as a writer.

Nobody talks like that in real life so reading that is going to do nothing to turn those that go to his site into sales.

 

[paydette]

Not even hot garbage... it's cold garbage

 

[Kikerinka]

In my opinion it's not as bad as most people here think.

It has certain style, and the writer is quite consistent from start to finish.
Surely, a native speaker would consider 2-3 expressions strange. But there aren't any apparent typos or syntax errors or anything in the text (at least I can't see any ).

In my view it's OK for a product description--that's the purpose of it after all.

 

[Crewchief007]

In my opinion it's not as bad as most people here think.

It has certain style, and the writer is quite consistent from start to finish.
Surely, a native speaker would consider 2-3 expressions strange. But there aren't any apparent typos or syntax errors or anything in the text (at least I can't see any ).

In my view it's OK for a product description--that's the purpose of it after all.

Here you go...

I ran this through Copyscape and it came back clean.

1 result found for the text you pasted (169 words, $0.03) on 28 Mar 2020 at 9:27 GMT.
Click "Compare Text" next to a result below to see your content highlighted.
How would you rate this writing? | BlackHatWorld

I ran this thorugh Grammarly and got this...

This really reveals the limitations of Grammarly. It says this piece is clear and engaging, and that may be true, to a degree, BUT NOT to the designated target market, "a high end basketball shoe buyer."

I agree with BassTrackerBoats on 2 fronts:

(1). In terms of ANY, "Product Description!" All Product Desciptions SHOULD be written to prompt, incite, encourage and /or inspire the reader to BUY NOW!

Take note of this quote from Caddis.co:

No matter the product, the idea behind writing product descriptions is to sell the product. Whether that means writing imaginative scenes or listing specifications, the customers should feel like they need that product once they are done reading.

Product Descriptions that Sell | Caddis
www.caddis.co/blog/the-importance-of-writing-great-product-descriptions

The description provided by that writer, passed the plagarisum test, it passed engagement test, but it failed miserably in persuading a reader to want/need this particular shoe.

(2). This description is predominantly filled with fluff and filler words.

Take a close examination of the duplicate word count:

7 the
6 shoe
6 in
5 is
4 and
4 its
3 area
3 as
3 gives
3 it
3 this
2 ankle
2 basketball
2 best
2 black
2 cp3
2 comfortable
2 ever
2 heel
2 jordan
2 many
2 of
2 pattern
2 which
2 you

The repetitive use of most of these words would be referred to as, "Unnecessary Repetition."

"The" seven times?

"Shoe" 6 times?

In summation, this description DOES NOT convey why one MUST get this SHOE TODAY! It does not convey why one NEEDS this shoe NOW!

Hope that helps!