Getting My First Money Shower, Balls Deep

[Writing Package]

I’ve been a lurker on BHW for more than a year. I’ve read a lot, done a lot, and failed more times than Donald Trump's hair.

Damn son. I found his brother.​

I’m that one kid in school that sucks at everything, but still thinks he's going to get the jackpot.


So, I’ve decided if I’m going to build anything worthwhile, I may as well go all the way in. I mean balls in.

So, this leads me to the topic of my journey.

This is a journey about a kid that’s going balls deep.​

That's me.

So, let's get started.

What are you trying to do that requires your balls?
I’m trying to build a multi-million dollar business with 100,000 active users in a fully autonomous, passive cash flow base making $1,000,000/day using AI and becoming Iron Man.

At the same time.

That moment when you have 6 interfaces and you only look at the box in your hand.​

Yep, you read that right.

You now see why it requires a lot of balls to do.

I have the setup to back it up, here’s how my current office looks:

This just redefined multi-tasking. 10 different tabs all at once.​

Ok, you’re probably doing this by now:

Jokes aside, although that would be an entertaining idea to juggle with, I’m a mere mortal and I have to work towards workable goals before I can become Tony Stark.

And before I can work towards unattainable goals, I have to first build systems in place to get me there.

So, I have to start with the basics.

So, I have to build the "usual" evil master plan.

Me planning out my master plan in detail. ​

Here’s my evil master plan in detail:

1. Get a kitten
2. Buy a suit
3. Take this picture
4. Build my first affiliate site.
5. Drive traffic to it.
6. Retain Traffic
7. Monetize

Not so exciting huh? That’s because you forgot step #8.

#8 is shower in money.

That’s definitely how I look. I’m a red...crab that showers in money but can’t afford actual curtains. Genius.​

That’s the goal right there, boys - shower in money. If you’re not showering in it, you ain’t doin’ something right.

But before we can shower in money, we’ve got to make it.

So, let’s see how to execute each step of the “evil master plan.”

The kitten and suit part are given. That’s a picture of me above, obviously.

Let's get down to the other steps

Build my first affiliate site

1. Register a domain with a high traffic longtail keyword from google (I’ve already done this)
   
   
2. Move the site over to your cheap 0.99/year host. (Yep, done this.)
   
   
3. Slap a WordPress theme on the site and make it look sexy (working on this)
   
   
4. Make it mobile and desktop friendly. Optimize it to load fast. (haven’t done this yet)

Your site has to be like this:

If you’re not fast enough for the big boys then you can’t shower in money.​

After building your site, it’s now time to drive traffic to your site with your new ride.

Driving Traffic

This is you should be plowing traffic to your site. ​

1. Build Social Media Accounts (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Tinder, Etc.) (working on this)
   
   
2. Start posting interesting content on these channels. (posting dick pics is not the way to go, frankly. Lesson learned.) (haven’t done this yet)
   
   
3. Write engaging blog posts. Search up Keywords. Write good blog posts about those. (Note to self, never hire an indian again.) (haven’t done this yet)
   
   
4. Do SEO magic. Do some of that SEO magic on-page, off-page, and that link building vodoo. (haven’t done this yet)

Yep, this is SEO explained in one word - pizza. ​

But you can’t eat the pizza without enough focus. So that’s why you have to focus on retainment.

Retain Traffic

1. Build an email list. Give them free pizza for joining and watch your list grow. Email that list constantly to remind them they didn’t get their free pizza yet. (haven’t done this yet)
   
   
2. Study your audience. Do they like your content? Is the slice of pizza not good enough? Recook that pizza with a better ingredient than shit and you’ll get far. (Currently in progress.)
   
   
3. Keep them coming. Make better pizza than anyone else. Remind them about it. Post about it daily. Be active. Post frequently and get your audience involved. This is time to pull out some Black Hat tools.

Now, to the best part. The part we’ve been waiting for a long time...

MONEY SHOWERS Leonardo Di Caprio Style, Baby.​

Monetize
Before we can monetize, understand one formula. It’s the only formula you need for life.

(Profits - Losses) / √pizza = Money Showers

This formula will dictate which monetization method we will go with.

1. Google Adsense. Slap some Google Ads on your site. Make your customers cringe on the sight of their favorite ads. (haven’t decided yet)
   
   
2. CPA Offer. Find a good CPA offer worth doing, but if it ain’t paying enough to do money showers = poor investment. (haven’t decided yet)
   
   
3. E-commerce store. If you find a huge demand for an item, build your own product and sell it to your own audience = maybe smart investment (haven’t decided yet)
   
   
4. More to be discovered. As I go, there may be other novel ways to monetize but that will be saved as I go along. (smart way of saying, “shit, I’m trying to figure out”)

Conclusion
That’s it.

If you read this far, you’ve just gone balls deep into my own post and I thank you for that.

For that, I award you with your very own fantasy money shower:

You’re welcome.​

And that’s how you get your very own money shower, boys.

After I achieve that, I’ll declare myself as Iron Man and you’ll see my name around the world.
Don’t attempt this at home unsupervised. Even supervised, don't do this. It's a horrible idea. The person undertaking this journey is nowhere near average or sane.

It’s time, boys. It's time to live it large.

It’s time I get my first money shower. Wish me luck.
Don’t attempt this at home unsupervised. Even supervised, don't do this. It's a horrible idea. The person undertaking this journey is nowhere near average or sane.


Update Schedule
I will update this post once a week. I aim for once every Sunday. I will post updates on my progress on the front as I achieve each goal. I will also update the checklist for each section as I go along. I will try to answer questions along the way, but I'm learning as I go. So please forgive my ignorance.

 

[tg01]

Love the thread! Hope it all pans out.

 

[SeoMoneyz]

What the hell?!

some piece of advice is to start slow, but what do i know am still just a noob but i know Huge Plans are easier to procrastinate. i wish you best of luck anyways

 

[Writing Package]

Love the thread! Hope it all pans out.

Thanks, I appreciate that a lot! I wasn't expecting a response this quickly.

 

[LiquidLeads]

Very Impressive thread!! Wish you BIG luck and from your writing I can be sure that you know what you gonna do.
I will be follow this..

 

[blogzandstuff]

This is a bit of a skim thread, not really to the point, a bit over the place. Lucky you're not writing articles lol!
Be careful with cheap hosting if you wanna shower yourself with money, it's cheap for a reason, they will cap the amount of traffic

 

[Writing Package]

What the hell?!

some piece of advice is to start slow, but what do i know am still just a noob but i know Huge Plans are easier to procrastinate. i wish you best of luck anyways

Haha that is true, SeoMoneyz. The plans aren't big at all though. They're very doable and normal for anyone doing affiliate sites.

 

[roki4ka]

2 words, OP

Business Plan

 

[Writing Package]

Very Impressive thread!! Wish you BIG luck and from your writing I can be sure that you know what you gonna do.
I will be follow this..

I really do appreciate that! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I will make sure that this journey stays interesting and I end up with my ultimate goal - money showers!

 

[sam.hunt0710]

Good Luck in your journey OP, Will be waiting for your next update.

 

[Writing Package]

This is a bit of a skim thread, not really to the point, a bit over the place. Lucky you're not writing articles lol!
Be careful with cheap hosting if you wanna shower yourself with money, it's cheap for a reason, they will cap the amount of traffic

Of course I agree with you. It was meant to be that way. I wanted to make this thread fun. Most of the IM journeys I've followed were quite boring, so I decided I'd try to do something different. Article writing and hobby writing are two completely different things.

 

[Writing Package]

2 words, OP

Business Plan

Thanks for the advice. Evil Master Plan = Business Plan for me.

 

[SeoMoneyz]

I really do appreciate that! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I will make sure that this journey stays interesting and I end up with my ultimate goal - money showers!

My own fault for skipping some parts and heading straight to the make money parts, i thought you will be doing all of that at once , went through the thread again and i got to say, i really enjoyed reading it. - Subbed.

 

[blogzandstuff]

Of course I agree with you. It was meant to be that way. I wanted to make this thread fun. Most of the IM journeys I've followed were quite boring, so I decided I'd try to do something different. Article writing and hobby writing are two completely different things.

It was a joke, hence the lol! Bit

 

[Writing Package]

My own fault for skipping some parts and heading straight to the make money parts, i thought you will be doing all of that at once , went through the thread again and i got to say, i really enjoyed reading it. - Subbed.

No problem at all! Many people have done the same as you. I would've done the same as well, but that's why I made this thread interesting. I wanted it to be something worth reading. I'm glad that you enjoyed it and I hope the rest of this journey lives up to my "evil master plan"!

 

[Deleted member 657006]

Bloody brilliant , loved everyword.
Your make it in the wtitten script world...

Good luck man ...

 

[Deleted member 657006]

Your be very good at infographics

That telling a story via symbol and images within a big image

 

[Writing Package]

Your be very good at infographics

Thanks Red Arrow! It means a lot coming from you. I've always loved your postings. Thanks for the idea. Probably something I'll look into later after my evil master plan is complete

 

[X-R0]

I'm still waiting, OP is...

but kinda entertaining best of luck

 

[Paukerin]

Dear OP, I will follow your journey for sure Yet alone for the pizza