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Programming jokes

Discussion in 'General Programming Chat' started by jazzc, Jan 9, 2015.

  1. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Let's make a fun thread! :)

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    An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables. He walks up to them and says "Can I join you?" :cow04:

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    - Do you want apples or oranges?
    - Yes

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    (Guess the language :D)
    ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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    Your mama so fat, she sat on an polyadic tree and turned it into a linked list in constant time.

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    "You shall not pass by reference"
     
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  2. HostStage

    HostStage Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables. He walks up to them and says "Can I join you?" [​IMG] -> LOL
     
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  3. rabbitking

    rabbitking Elite Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  4. WebLab

    WebLab Junior Member

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    LOL. With the limited programming knowledge, couldn't get other than first.
     
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  5. ExpressFans

    ExpressFans Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  6. pavan

    pavan Elite Member

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    "Knock, knock."

    "Who's there?"

    very long pause....

    "Java."

    :-o
     
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  7. NetCrime

    NetCrime Regular Member

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    A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
    "Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
    "That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer"
    "So? What's that got to do with anything?"
    "We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."
     
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  8. bgp90

    bgp90 Regular Member

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    Programming is just like sex
    One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life
     
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  9. dadangle

    dadangle Junior Member

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    Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
     
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  10. Tobbe co

    Tobbe co Junior Member

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  11. ttrox

    ttrox Regular Member

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    Most of you probably know this one, but anyway:

    [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

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  12. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    Read this classic one. Not a "programmer" joke as such, but even if it is, there is no programmer who can beat the logic! :) So here it goes:

    How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders:



    1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
    2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
    3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer Icon
    4. Keep it in a corner of the PC's desktop
    5. Store all your important files in that folder.
    6. DONE! :D Now, no one will open internet explorer EVER! NO ONE!! -- your files in that folder are "hidden" forever from prying eyes! :D

     
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    Last edited: Jan 10, 2015
  13. lord1027

    lord1027 Elite Member

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    At guess the language, is it Scheme?
     
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  14. trance92071

    trance92071 Senior Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  15. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    Autolisp is the only one that comes to my mind! Did a lot of AutoLisp programs between late 1980s and till 1995, and I loved those AutoCad jobs immensely and one reason was it really automated lots of those autocad tasks! Had to use plenty of the close "round brackets" (parentheses), But I don't remember putting so many close parentheses to end any dfun function, however complex it got to! :)
     
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    Last edited: Jan 10, 2015
  16. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Yes, it's Lisp! I also first learned about it in AutoCad in the early 90s :)
     
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  17. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Last edited: Jan 11, 2015
  18. PHPInjected

    PHPInjected Elite Member

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    1. A programmer is told to "go to hell", he finds the worst part of that statement is the "go to".
    2. I've got a really good UDP joke to tell you, but I don't know if you'll get it
    3. Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None. It's a hardware problem.
    4. A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers. The bartender says "I will have to charge you extra, that is a root beer float". The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."
     
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  19. earlleaps

    earlleaps Newbie

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    How did George Boolean die? He was set to false
     
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  20. Chris22

    Chris22 Regular Member

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    Why do Java programmers wear glasses?

    Because they don't C#
     
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