Programming jokes

[jazzc]

Let's make a fun thread!

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables. He walks up to them and says "Can I join you?" :cow04:

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- Do you want apples or oranges?
- Yes

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(Guess the language )
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Your mama so fat, she sat on an polyadic tree and turned it into a linked list in constant time.

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"You shall not pass by reference"

 

[HostStage]

An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables. He walks up to them and says "Can I join you?"

-> LOL

 

[Deleted member 708208]

 

[WebLab]

LOL. With the limited programming knowledge, couldn't get other than first.

 

[ExpressFans]

 

[pavan]

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

very long pause....

"Java."

:-o

 

[NetCrime]

A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
"Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
"That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer"
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."

 

[bgp90]

Programming is just like sex
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life

 

[dadangle]

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

 

[Tobbe co]

(Guess the language

)
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Russia, lol

More fun on a similar subject
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/184618/what-is-the-best-comment-in-source-code-you-have-ever-encountered

 

[ttrox]

Most of you probably know this one, but anyway:

 

[srb888]

Read this classic one. Not a "programmer" joke as such, but even if it is, there is no programmer who can beat the logic! So here it goes:

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders:

1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer Icon
4. Keep it in a corner of the PC's desktop

5. Store all your important files in that folder.
6. DONE! Now, no one will open internet explorer EVER! NO ONE!! -- your files in that folder are "hidden" forever from prying eyes!

​

 

[lord1027]

At guess the language, is it Scheme?

 

[trance92071]

 

[srb888]

(Guess the language

)

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Autolisp is the only one that comes to my mind! Did a lot of AutoLisp programs between late 1980s and till 1995, and I loved those AutoCad jobs immensely and one reason was it really automated lots of those autocad tasks! Had to use plenty of the close "round brackets" (parentheses), But I don't remember putting so many close parentheses to end any dfun function, however complex it got to!

 

[jazzc]

Autolisp is the only one that comes to my mind! Did a lot of AutoLisp programs between late 1980s and till 1995, and I loved those AutoCad jobs immensely and one reason was it really automated lots of those autocad tasks! Had to use plenty of the close "round brackets" (parentheses), But I don't remember putting so many close parentheses to end any dfun function, however complex it got to!

Yes, it's Lisp! I also first learned about it in AutoCad in the early 90s

 

[Zwielicht]

C++ : Where friends have access to your private members.

 

[PHPInjected]

1. A programmer is told to "go to hell", he finds the worst part of that statement is the "go to".
2. I've got a really good UDP joke to tell you, but I don't know if you'll get it
3. Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It's a hardware problem.
4. A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers. The bartender says "I will have to charge you extra, that is a root beer float". The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."

 

[earlleaps]

How did George Boolean die? He was set to false

 

[Chris22]

Why do Java programmers wear glasses?

Because they don't C#