Pasta love needed

As I can't eat pasta right now I ask you kindly to eat pasta for me.
The reason I can't eat my pasta right now does not need to be discussed here, that would be too personal. Just know that I really need your support in this and all pasta consumed is for a good purpose and will not go to waste.

Pasta with cheese and meatballs it needs to be and here is what I need you to do:
Think of me,
Eat for me,
Suck those balls.

All I ask for, for the love of pasta. For the pasta I can't eat now. I could tell you a horror story about my reasons but this is such a public place and I don't want to impose. I even feel guilty asking you to eat for me but the pasta is needed. It is needed so much!

Even if you didn't know it pasta did a lot for this world, it fed millions of children to name something. Pasta also kept people too busy to fight but strong enough to stand up for themselves when needed. If you ever made pasta yourself, you will know what I mean.
Pasta has been giving strength to the many that love to make it by hand, the meatballs providing extra nutrition for those that eat it. Sucking the balls is showing respect.

These days there are many Italians in need, but pasta provides. Many a family is still fed by pasta daily, but alas I can't be tonight.
So will you please please please eat pasta tonight, for me?
Remember, there need to be balls in it to let this work. (Tofu balls are acceptable though not recommended)
After all that pasta has done for this world, is this too much to ask in return?

If you have a gluten allergy, I understand and apologize for imposing.
If you will eat pasta for me, please post here and let the pasta do what it does best. The cheese is optional but does add a lot. It doesn't matter if you normally eat whole wheat pasta instead of traditional durum, I accept pasta love in all flavors as in the end: It feeds us all.

Thank you for your time and know that any pasta eaten will not go to waste.

Happy pasta meals everyone! May The Great Noodle in the Sky watch over you!



Posting this in the lounge as it seems most fit. Time for coffee now.

I love pasta probably more than the average man.

However, I find this thread really odd mate!

Got chrohns OP?

If not, try some bulgur wheat.

I want what the OP is smoking!

something something meatballs something something balls something something tofu balls

I'm having some gluten-free pasta right now OP. nomnomnom

iilfounded21, it is always good meet another pasta lover. May The Great Noodle watch over you.

ThreadKiller, it is not like that. I wish I could tell you but it is just too personal. Just know that I am in need. I need all the pasta love I can get today.

Nookie Monster, you are welcome to it but I started smoking after writing this thread.

Doom101, thank you! Thank you so much! You do have balls in it right?

As soon as he said "suck those balls", I decided pasta would be the last thing I would be eating.

I didn't know pasta was gay?

Doom101 said:

I'm having some gluten-free pasta right now OP. nomnomnom

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No Offense, but you cant call that crap Pasta.

Regards,

A true pasta lover..

I can only contribute if Macaroni and cheese counts.

Can't do Pasta, can't even figure out why someone would take the ingredients for a scrambled egg burrito and make pasta with it in the first place.

However, If I can do a meatball sandwich and get credit for "Pasta by Proxy", I am your guy!

B.Friendly, pasta isn't gay. You are making it gay in your mind.

Chizz, I never tried gluten free as I am a traditional pasta lover. I think it is the thought that counts though. At least he is eating pasta, how many others do not? It will not be forgotten by me nor the originator of all pasta, His Noodleness.
Will you eat pasta for me? I could really use the support.

Techxan, macaroni and cheese counts, it is usually for funerals but it is the thought that counts and the cheese really adds to that. Thank you from the deepest of my belly. May The Great Noodle in the Sky guide your path and watch over you.

Thank you all, I can feel the pasta love and it is very much appreciated.
Please continue to support me as I really need it. I can't post why here because like I said it would feel wrong to post such personal information here but by the Gods, I need your support!

I did it yesterday wisely and well-knowing that you write this today.
I hade 2 big lasagnes which have been more then tasty.
Today I will follow up with penne and green pesto while watching "Tatort".

Reading this made me think of the ben stiller pizza electroshock scene in the movie Dodgeball.

Sorry Dude.
Pancakes and sausage for me right now but maybe after I wake up will heat up a can of chef boyardee before I go to work tonight.

jdog37 said:

can of chef boyardee before I go to work tonight.

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That shit is so gross. I tried it once and then gave it to my friend's dog and walked down the street to my aunt's place to have her cook me some REAL homemade Italian pasta and sauce.

Subster, His Noodleness works in mysterious ways, far beyond of what non pasta lovers can ever imagine.
I feel blessed knowing you were selected to come to my aid. Only The Gods know how much I am in need for help right now and having a true pasta lover supporting me really makes all the difference.
Thank you! Thank you in name of everything pasta stands for!
May The Great Noodle in the Sky continue to watch over you.

senior, pizza lovers are erm... different. I don't want to say anything bad about them but pasta lovers they are not. Not in my experience anyways. I respect all dishes though.

jdog37, I am not sure about canned pasta. Feels like it misses the personal touch. No offense intended and it is only for The Great Noodle in the Sky to have the Ultimate Judgement on all things pasta.

ja1myn, I never ate it but it is good to see other pasta lovers standing up for their right and not be suckered into eating second grade pasta.
True pasta is made by hand, it is the only way to truly connect to The Great Noodle in the Sky IMHO.
Will you eat pasta for me? Balls and cheese are much appreciated.
Normally I wouldn't ask but alas, I am in need of pasta love.

Amsterdammer said:

senior, pizza lovers are erm... different. I don't want to say anything bad about them but pasta lovers they are not. Not in my experience anyways. I respect all dishes though.

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HERE! HERE! We need Dish Tolerance and Dish Diversity as a means to achieve Dish Equality, when the days of Dish Discrimination will be a thing of the past. No longer will purveyors of pasta prejudice be able to oppress the pizza people of the planet.

B. Friendly said:

HERE! HERE! We need Dish Tolerance and Dish Diversity as a means to achieve Dish Equality, when the days of Dish Discrimination will be a thing of the past. No longer will purveyors of pasta prejudice be able to oppress the pizza people of the planet.

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I was referring more to the electroshock treatment he (stiller) would give himself if he took a bite the the food he was eating. Since you didn't give the reason you couldn't eat your favorite thing I imagined a similar scenario. He loves the pizza, has the pizza, wants to eat the pizza, but if he does he will (and does) zap himself continuously with electroshock therapy any time he tries to take a bite. Then it gets really disturbing when since he cant' eat it he starts putting it other places and thankfully caught before he could.

Amsterdammer said:

Think of me,
Eat for me,
Suck those balls.

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I lost all of my focus after reading this part lmao

If i have long fat spaghetti for breakfast does that count? or do i have to have the balls as well?