Noob to number one in the search engines

Ok so I have been lurking on the forum for a few weeks and I have so many questions, as I am sure lots of noobs do, before you tell me to stop being lazy and do some research I have and it has only unearted more questions.

So I thought I would put a thread together which will give advice based on the following:-

Let's say you start a new website (legitimate business with long term potential) what blackhat methods would you employ and at what time frame from launch and then ongoing to rank high in the search engines as soon as possible without being sandboxed.

Before you give me a hard time for trying to learn the dark art without mincing about the forum for a couple of years, I am prepared to buy these services from more experienced forum members but would like to know what to buy or do and when.

If you can point me or other forum noobs in the right direction it may help avoid lots of stupid questions in other threads.

Thanks in advance.

If you're going to be using spammy backlinks, make tiers of web2.0 sites to launder them.

wargasm said:

If you're going to be using spammy backlinks, make tiers of web2.0 sites to launder them.

Click to expand...

Could you be more specific I.e. How would you define spammy links? Do you mean link to squido type web 2.0 sites and then to your own main site.?

Thanks in advance.

I'm currently in SeNukeX Trial and understand exactly what it can do, the problem is how to apply it to my site to increase PR. This kind of question is always a Question Mark.