Ohh, I´d love to hangout in your friend circle, seems like a lot of fun .. in my boring circle, we don´t have shared single females, but it is an interesting concept, to share the girls between us .. ,-)
One time I wanted to steal my friend's girlfriend. He said it's not his girlfriend, so it motivated me a little bit, ignoring the fact that he was just ashamed to talk about his feelings openly.
Then she was wrecked because I went too far.
Another day I was in a relationship and kinda wasted $1200 on a virtual girlfriend. She broke up with me when she's found a boy in the real life. I was wrecked for months afterwards and became an alcoholic few years later. Well, not an alcoholic like drinking everyday, but abusing alcohol for strong feelings of euphoria and being able to socialize even with people like my own enemies.
Years later I was arrested. And my thoughts are like this: first breakup is like being busted for the first time. It's stupid as hell, but once you realize what's happened, you'll take care of your freedom.
I told myself to never look desperately for a girl again. And I will not seek anyone's attention unless God clearly lets me know it's the time to get into a close relationship. But I think it won't happen in less than 10 years.
I think since that moment I've been just wrecking myself. I am an alcoholic, a drug addict and so it comes very difficult to me to live like before that relationship. The only thing that is left in my life is this community. And a therapy I started - 5 years late. For those 5 years I was following patterns that just don't make common sense.
I could go on for hours how bad it is, but I started to recover. No alcoholic drink since weeks and many people supporting me.
I have developed a phobia for mirrors. I thought everyone experiences this, but it turned out I can't look myself in the eyes. I realized I am a piece of rag that is going the pathway of a demoralized human. My thinking was completely rewired during the last year of 2021.
You can say it's going harsh on oneself. But no. It's choosing between the path of dishonest instant gratification addict and normal, more predictable life.