1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I need help. Possible cheating wife I have no proof only speculation.

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by rapidsparkey, Feb 16, 2014.

  1. rapidsparkey

    rapidsparkey Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2014
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    To start I am in Afghanistan presently and I have no one back home to protect my interest.

    With that being said, I suspect my wife is cheating on me but I do not have concrete proof of the infidelity. I however have intuition and suspisions about a possible affair. To me the signs are there. Multiple texts and calls. Now they work together in a volunteer organization that we are a part of and communication is necessary but the frequency of the texts and calls is alot more than I think is needed. I confronted her when I came home last and her and the douche bag both denied it. Yes I did talk to him and told him to stay away from my wife since the season was over for the project they worked on together. I told her I needed to have access to her Facebook account and Gmail account to ensure that nothing is going on if I choose to look at them. More or less telling her to tread lightly if she wants this marriage to survive. I still have this gut feeling though that something is going on. We have been together for 19 years and have a 7 year old daughter. The guy in question has had affairs with married women in the past and his ex-wife cheated on him. Since then he has had affairs several times with married and attached women. So the fact that he would do it again is very likely. She says she has no involvement or communications with him and the phone bill shows that contact has stopped. But with internet sms services they could still be talking thru apps on their phones. Does any one out there have any suggestions of what I can do from 8000 miles away. I could install an app from her gmail account but she would know it because I am sure she would have to accept some kind of terms. Please only serious responses to this question. I am willing to move on if it is true but I do not want to potentially ruin my daughters life if this is all in my head. I need concrete proof. Thank you
     
  2. TheMoneyWizard

    TheMoneyWizard Elite Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2012
    Messages:
    2,351
    Likes Received:
    2,461
    Location:
    Wonderland
    Only you can know what to do, if you've been with her for 19 years then you know her better than anyone.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  3. Chris22

    Chris22 Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2010
    Messages:
    400
    Likes Received:
    1,059
    Legally you can only do this if you own the phone, but if the phone is an android and you can push apps to the phone via the google store then you are in luck.

    I had luck in tracing my stolen android phone by pushing an app called "AndroidLost" to my phone from my computer, it let me look up the location using GPS and see what calls and messages the thief had made. It also let me record sound and access the files on the phone, pretty useful piece of kit.

    I repeat, this should be done only if the phone is your property and is lost, I'm not responsible for what you do with it. Spying on your loved ones might not be the best way to resolve this situation, but ultimately that is your call.
     
  4. re0al

    re0al Newbie

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2013
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    2
    you can use "AUDIO MONITOR LISTENING DEVICE" at your home. this will help you. just google it & you will find solution.
     
  5. Conor

    Conor Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2012
    Messages:
    3,373
    Likes Received:
    5,437
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South Africa
    Home Page:
    Because Blackhatworld = Experts in all things to do with marriage and relationships? Why ask here?
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  6. trustedfire9

    trustedfire9 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2010
    Messages:
    2,120
    Likes Received:
    1,787
    nice post to start with on BHW .......
     
  7. johndoe6t9

    johndoe6t9 Newbie

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2013
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    4
    #1) I'm not sure this is the right forum for that kind of question... (although what Chris22 said is probably about what you're "looking for").

    #2) Where there's smoke, there is usually fire - so if you suspect that she's cheating, unfortunately she probably is.

    #3) For you to be in a relationship where you constantly feel that you can't trust her (whether it's valid or not), is not fair to you, and it's not fair to her. Sometimes we hold on to things and people for WAY longer than we should, in hopes that that person will change, or because we've gotten so used to being together with that person - HOWEVER I think it may be time to move on because once trust is lost in a relationship, it hardly ever comes back.

    The best of luck to you, in the end, things will work out how they should and always remember: "This Too Shall Pass".
     
  8. MadStacks

    MadStacks BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2013
    Messages:
    1,494
    Likes Received:
    493
    Not sure if I am allowed to talk about it on the forum but it's not a big deal to get some spy software on her
    phone to check her messages ect. Sorry you are going through this and when you have a child in the mix it is
    also hurting them in the long run which makes the cheating much worse.
     
  9. Duffers5000

    Duffers5000 Elite Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2012
    Messages:
    2,466
    Likes Received:
    7,615
    Too late buddy. Women need attention, now shes getting serviced while you play action man 6000 miles away.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 5
  10. Reeshua

    Reeshua Power Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2014
    Messages:
    503
    Likes Received:
    183
    Occupation:
    Student
    I don't want to agree with this, but it's so hard not to. But then again, love triumphs above all (no kidding).haha.

    To the OP, how about doing a surprise visit? That way, they can't get rid of evidences (emails, text messages, etc.).
     
  11. Tony Barns

    Tony Barns Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2009
    Messages:
    226
    Likes Received:
    159
    Problem is you accused them both and now they are going to be careful not to get caught. I know you can send text messages online from a fake sender (use her number )and send him a text with something that would give away if they are having an affair or not, but don't know if you can receive replies. Also you might be able to call her number and have his caller ID show on her phone but you'll need to find someone that sounds like him LOL
     
  12. samatar_h

    samatar_h Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2013
    Messages:
    215
    Likes Received:
    39
    go on hf somemone is selling a android rat for like $300. it can make you listen to phone calls and go through texts
     
  13. Yaack

    Yaack Newbie

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2013
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    10
    My husband had a very similar thing happen. A coworker became very friendly, overly friendly, but he thought I was out of mind when I got upset about all the calling/texting. Pretty soon, they were "besties" and I was too jealous/controlling and was not the right kind of person for him. It was a real wake up call when his "friend" hit on him -- and he realized he was an idiot who should have listened to his wife. :D

    My husband is a good guy who was too nice to see what was happening. In the aftermath, it was easy for him to see ways he'd been manipulated, but he still doesn't understand WHY. The need to destroy someone's family to prove you're worth anything doesn't make any sense to him (and if it did, I probably wouldn't have ever been interested).

    Having done way too much research on this stuff for it to be healthy, I would say it sounds like your wife may have been willing to accept sooner than later that this guy was working her. Did she refuse to stop talking to him? Did she tell you that you were ridiculous and he was just a friend? Did she start pointing out all your flaws and that she wouldn't have to talk to him if you were different? If none of those things happened, I really think you caught it before it was a problem. You know her ... is she the kind of person who would expect a friend to take advantage of her, or not? Was this an insidious plot to screw you over or a regretful mistake? If you want a healthy marriage, you'll gain nothing by investing in suspicion .. it will just get more intense, you'll think up more and more things they could possibly be doing, and you'll like your wife less whether you find something or not. Spend your energy building your wife and marriage up instead. Concentrate on things you initially were drawn to, fun memories of the past and talk to her about things you want to do with her in the future.

    Good luck.
     
  14. divok

    divok Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    634
    Location:
    http://twitter.com/divok
    I want to know , how you decided that this forum was the right place to ask this kind of question ?
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  15. rutix

    rutix Junior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2012
    Messages:
    102
    Likes Received:
    12
    bug her, bug her phone :)
     
  16. dareos

    dareos Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2013
    Messages:
    325
    Likes Received:
    9
    She's doing it! Probably.
     
  17. mindmaster

    mindmaster Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    2,501
    Likes Received:
    1,136
    Location:
    at my new office
    Stop messing with possible legal problems while tapping to her phone.

    Hire a detective Sherlock or check your confidence level in this marriage.
     
  18. todordonev

    todordonev Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2012
    Messages:
    379
    Likes Received:
    228
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bulgaria
    Home Page:
    There are more and more of these threads everyday.. We are a internet marketing community, not a marriage therapists.
     
  19. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2012
    Messages:
    10,129
    Likes Received:
    28,577
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Fun Lovin' Criminal
    Location:
    London
    Home Page:
    Yet another troll account? Joins an IM forum today to seek advice about a cheating spouse?
    Seems legit.
     
  20. Eagle Eye

    Eagle Eye Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2010
    Messages:
    1,031
    Likes Received:
    592
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Achiever
    Location:
    East Coast
    he probably has another account he did not want to tarnish