I have a confession to make.

JFire9

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Hi,

I have a confession to make.

My real name is Yossaphat Chawla, Indian name is Jaspreet Singh Chawla and nick name is Jinny. I'm from Bangkok, Thailand. My age is 31.

This is my pic.

69951232_926874577669052_2326742023723286528_n.jpg

I knew about bhw since 2007-2008.

In all these years, I have use various usernames on bhw because I was banned for breaking forum rules.

Some of the usernames I remember using were: blackdan, seoex, GuruMaster, Good42, redkiller, JFire9 (current) and maybe more which I can't remember.

I didn't scam anyone here, and all my other usernames I use to either help people or ask for answers/advice.

But the main problem is with username blackdan to which was banned in 2009 and which made me ill the way I'm right now. I have schizophrenia after I made some sinful/idiotic/egoistic posts on bhw using the username blackdan. Some of it was removed. I even had near death experience to which I escape in 2009 which is also the reason for my suffering and problems.

I will share some of the threads I posted on bhw below:

https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/10-for-the-person-who-posts-the-best-joke.132151/page-4 (search for Sanitarium post where he quoted my words, original post was removed. This post at that time I believe was wisdom for me, but the place and the way I posted is absolutely wrong. I am full of ego and I'm a hypocrites.)

https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/ever-felt-the-pain.83571/ (Idiotic and disgusting post by me.)

I need to confess myself, I hope mod won't remove this post as I will use it to show to my doctors and who ever it may concern in the future.

Thanks and sorry for disturbing your forum in the past.

I no longer do IM and no longer frequent bhw like I use to, I use to be very addicted to bhw, every morning I would come, that was years ago.

Now a days I'm living a simple life at home and planning to sell pizza sandwich with my mom for a living.

In 2009, on bhw, I also said that those who follow me will go above and those who don't follow me will live inside us. I want to say sorry to God for these words. I didn't mean to say it, I don't know why I said it. These posts were removed within seconds after it was posted by me with username blackdan.

In 2009, as I said I had near death experience, and I tried to escape it, and many days later that followed, it was what I believe is called schizophrenic episode, I was in delusions, I wouldn't go back home, I imagine I'm this and that and this is happening and that is happening. I feel I have harm many people. I thought world war 3 is coming and I felt it was because of me and I gotten uncontrolled.

Nowadays, I have a serious mental problem, I think negative alot, I think of shit and sex and dirt with everyone and even with god and I want the illness to be resolve, I don't want to sin no more, but every day, I'm still doing this sin and I can't control it.

Thanks for reading my confession letter.

I wish you success and happiness in your life.

I hope mod won't delete this, I want to keep it to show to many people in real life like my doctors.
 

Crewchief007

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Hi,

I have a confession to make.

In all these years, I have use various usernames on bhw because I was banned for breaking forum rules.

I hope mod won't delete this, I want to keep it to show to many people in real life like my doctors.
You need to go OFFLINE and seek THERAPY from a trained professional.

This account will likely be banned also, because YOU are not above the rules.

Nothing personal, seek help!
 

Panther28

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Well i looked at that post, it does appear loopy. I remember when I had a breakdown a few years back, I was sometimes posting some strange shit too, but nothing like that! You were far gone! :(
I hope the mods of the forum give you a chance for being honest, and get some help for your lifestyle patterns.
However you shouldn't have had multiple accounts before that for fun.
 

MrDenz

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We are all "idiots" when we are young, we do stupid things...

The thing is, if we do not learn lessons from all that stupid shit, our life will become one total mess!

I wish I can help you, all I can do is pray for you and tell you to not give up.

Life is beautiful, we are the ones making our lives to be one huge mess, at the end of the day!

I really hope you come as a winner from this battle.
 
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Stay Strong.
Make that pizza with love.

I am new here, i don't know the culture around here but i guess people forgive you, more than that they forget you no one gives a shit about what you did in a forum.
I feel like , in your suffering of games mind plays on itself you have been repent from your sins.

Much love
Peace.
 

microman

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Giving advice to take any kind of psychoactive substances to mentally ill people is stupid/ignorant, please don't do it anymore.
Weed has crazy healing powers, both mind and body. This is a forum for IM and SEO, i didn't realise i need to sign every post with:

I am not a doctor, this is not medical advice.
 

mturbo

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Weed has crazy healing powers, both mind and body. This is a forum for IM and SEO, i didn't realise i need to sign every post with:

I am not a doctor, this is not medical advice.
Good luck healing schizoprenia with weed :D I smoke on special occasions myself and have nothing against cannabis or other recreational drugs but do some reading please - people with mental problems(especially with severe ones like schizoprenia) have different wiring in their heads and everything can go downhill pretty fast for them when they start doing drugs.
 
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Weed has crazy healing powers, both mind and body. This is a forum for IM and SEO, i didn't realise i need to sign every post with:

I am not a doctor, this is not medical advice.
It is a nice drug but healing powers nah , the word "healing powers" itself sounds like a word a newbie like me would use to write a health blog about veggies in hopes of making it in page 1 of google. But yep this is a forum about seo and yes you aint a doctor no one should listen to what advice you here on internet specially about vices and medicines.
 

adalbertmgrm

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Take B12, OMEGA 3, and vitamin D. These vitamins will help you gather your mind.
(It will contribute to the mental power needed to correct yourself.)

+ Reduce your internet usage.
+ Take regular nature walks and spend time in a forest.
+ The creator is great and loves to forgive. Islam is beautiful, listen to the Quran, it will affect you.

These are my recommendations.
 

davids355

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I hope you get your mental health problems sorted out @JFire9 as others have said, although this forum isn’t really the place from which you need help, I feel like it’s therapeutic for you coming clean here - maybe if you’ve been harbouring some of these “secrets” then releasing them will take a weight off your shoulders.

Unofficially I will say that if you have come clean on your previous accounts and you are following the rules now then you will probably be ok as far as BHW is concerned.

Aside from all of that, I will say you should look outside of the forum for help; friends and family are probably a good place to start. Going to see your doctor as well to get some advice on counselling or other coping mechanisms. As someone said above, looking at your diet and your fitness may help as well and basically looking inward at your life and circumstances and try to improve any and all areas in whichever ways possible.

If you do that, then over time you should hopefully see improvements in your mental health.

Good luck buddy.
 

M4DM4X

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Good luck mate stay strong you are on the right path.
Btw I read somewhere that gluten was nefast for people suffering from your condition. So I don't know if pizzas are a good choice.
Take care
 
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