I always try to be the best me I can be but sometimes racist remarks come out of me. This grew from a young age, not from my father (he made me do a test he made when I was racist at school). It was from an event that happened that I'm not going to mention because it's irrelevant. How can I stop saying racist remarks, or just negative remarks/feeling angry when something doesn't go my way? I've been meditating on and off for the past 9 years, at least 5 minutes per day the last 150 days. I also do yoga and visualization. For some reason I still complain about so much shit, call the general public sheep and such. How do I just learn to "not give a fuck"? Is it because my age? I just turned 25 and it's disgusting that racist comments come out of my mouth & I am not proud of it at all. I may just have to start smoking more weed. I just don't like doing it because it affects my motivation to work on my business. I'll use this quote from "The One Thing" Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. I think it's time I start journaling like for 1 hour a day. IM will always be there for me, I have my income covered so I don't have to worry about that. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks! I'm deeply sorry for the posts I made in the other thread. Please know this is coming from the bottom of my heart & I want to change. I thought I could do it alone but I need advice.