My name is Edin and I am the weirdest person I ever met. Yeah, that's right! I met myself... Many times... I found out who and where I am, now I know what's my purpose and what I'm supposed to do... Actually, it's not that impossible as it seems... At least, after 15+ years of continual thinking... Overthinking, mostly. However... I am neither old nor young but tired and wounded soul with almost 26 years of experience *owning* and *controlling* my entirely unique avatar's body in this open-world simulation... But, please! Don't misunderstand me! I mentioned that I'm the weirdest human being in my life and I really am, but I didn't say that I'm an insane, crazy, or lunatic individual. I don't claim that I'm clearly sane as well... Essentially, it does not matter because it's most likely impossible to find out who normal and who's defected... So... Let me continue my introduction if you don't mind! Okay... Yes... If I can use just one word to describe my overall behavior and way of living, I'll choose the term *philosopher* because I fell in love with thinking as a little creepy boy and never stopped, like never... Don't try to convince me! It's an inseparable long problematic but happy marriage and there is no potential soulmate for me here in this universe! I am a long-time active, superadvanced open-minded undetected philosopher with a goal to beat the hell out of me and do whatever I want without funny incomprehensible self-sabotage, distractions, or anything that made me my own antagonist. As I said at the beginning, I know who I am and what I must do, but I can't say that I'm perfectly steady and independent to do what I think I must, especially what I want... I slow myself down ruthlessly and intensively without any reasonable reason. I feel like some lazy rude asshole who hates me was trapped somewhere inside me with no plan to leave any soon... F#*k... I'm sorry, folks... I really am... I just needed to take out all of this from my head because there is no much free space left and I'm barely at half away... I need to start to write down or pronounce all-important thought processing procedure results, crucial discoveries, useful thoughts, and revolutionary ideas... I like to write immensely because I figure out how important writing is and what is actually possible by creating content... So, I made a lot of researches about writing techniques, strategies and spend hundreds of hours learning as much as possible just to increase chances to formulate extremely rare, invisible thoughts into explicit intelligible sentences words but after the whole painful processes despite the respectable effort, my dear narcissistic omniscient alter-ego starts using all forces to prevent my unbearable, ultra boring and totally useless training where shortly after I give up because he's still way wiser and stronger than me... Whatever I try against him, he is always inside me and already ready to defend or attack. I am always one step ahead of my own self. Despite everything, I don't wanna fight fights against myself because I love and respect myself. Although I despise myself because of that, I am still me and will be forever... So, what now? Just don't tell me that you still reading this?! But, yes... What now? An only reasonable solution that my rational brain can get in this moment is to accept that dumbo guy and make some truce or agreement, regardless of everything. If I embrace myself and do what both of us unanimously decide, maybe I'll be stronger, even unbeatable... The problem in whole this fight against myself lies right in the f#*king arrangements... I don't want what I want... I wanna do what I consider useful, necessary, or necessary... Screw joy - It's a kid's tale. Do something important, large, tough, complicated... Think about essential things... Solve problems... Help someone... Focus on the future, incoming events, and life after death... I desperately aspire to get closer to God and make a nice and constant relationship... But, nothing of that won't happen if I do what approve internal court which searches exclusively for pleasure and fun... I am not that me anymore and I will never became again... No matter what! I'm not afraid and I am not an f#*king coward... Sure thing, homie! Will see... Will see... Okay... Finally, I'll bring to an end this embarrassing *introduction* which I wrote under the drug's influence but now when I'm sober a little bit, I'm not thinking of deleting all of this and I will publish it as my introduction Post thread of BHW's profile, so, I don't care... It was an amazing feeling writing it and I hope it will be similar good after yours reactions and judgments... Of course, in the end, I ask all dissatisfied readers to forgive me for wasting your non-renewable time, but ultimately... Thanks for your priceless attention, and have a good life!
#eki #deceivedbrainworkexperiment1 ##randomspontaneousandunrelatedcontent1 #becausewhynot
#eki #deceivedbrainworkexperiment1 ##randomspontaneousandunrelatedcontent1 #becausewhynot
