Went to a bar alone tonight.

At the risk of my own dignity, I’ll transparently say I don’t have many friends these days.

I probably have 2-3 genuine friends - the rest have gone onto college or married. Most of my social circle has sort or deteriorated after high school. And I don’t think that’s abnormal - I’m not some sort of freak recluse, it’s just that most of my friends have done their own thing.

My girlfriend went on a family vacation this week, and I realized something… Most of my current friends are directly from her social circle. Makes me feel like a bit of a mooch.

Since she wasn’t around, I decided to go to a bar completely alone.

Might not sound like much, but I read in a book before that the best skill a man can master is the ability to be content alone. This was probably 2-3 years ago - I’ve never mustered the courage to actually do it. It just petrified me for some reason.

Tonight I did it.

It was a fucking blast. Didn’t go in with any expectations - just wanted to prove to myself I could do it. I had a few shots beforehand, and ended up shooting the shit with some random dude about stocks, marketing, and the politics. Had a girl hit on me, but I quickly shut her down and kept conversating with a newly made friend.

I was worried I’d look like some kind of weirdo - but it was quite the opposite. I don’t even know why I’m posting this, but I highly recommend trying it.

It’s very fulfilling.

Now you have to move up and do solo trips. I randomly decided to go to Iceland alone once..it was glorious.
 
Seriously, If I stayed in your state, I’d be visiting you house often for those shrimp dishes my man. :D

I can cook some seafood as I grew up on the Jersey Shore where we always had fresh fish of one kind or another and you are welcome in our home at any time even if you do not live here.

3 blocks from the river where the fishing boats docked and a mile from the Ocean... best life for any kid.
 
A girl is allowed to have her personal space and time. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you have to spend 24/7/365 together.
Awesome words. Some stupid people still go with the “men only”. Well, fuck you, the family is more than what you earn. Respect your wife, mother and sister and the girl next door. Or, the world won’t be free.

I can cook some seafood as I grew up on the Jersey Shore where we always had fresh fish of one kind or another and you are welcome in our home at any time even if you do not live here.

3 blocks from the river where the fishing boats docked and a mile from the Ocean... best life for any kid.

Now I am adding your house as my “to visit before you die” list for sure!!
 
"Time spent alone returns to you a hundredfold because it is the proving ground of the spirit. You quickly find out if you are at peace with yourself or if the meaning of your life is found only in the superficial affairs of the day. If it is in the superficial affairs of the day, time spent alone with throw you back upon yourself in a way that will make you grow in wisdom and inner strength."

to say the least regarding loneliness and solitude
 
Friends? I thought I had a bunch of those when I was in high school. Now in my late 30's I have one true friend that I trust with my life and my money. My wife. And that's it for me. Friends have not been a useful thing for me to have since I was in my 20's.

You dont need friends when there is a service for everything. If I want a friend I'll hire one. It's my experience that people you pay and dont know are better/more loyal than people you do know.

Glad you had a fun night.
 
That's a great step you took OP. I would also like to try what you did. As in my case, I would always try to get the things done/ done what I came for when I go a to a place rather than waiting around chilling, but the thing is I also like to casually wait and pass some time.

While Bar is a great place to make new friends, in my culture not that much of a great place I think (or since I haven't tried I might have never known). But really enjoyed your story, please continue with your expedition.
Definitely give it a shot man. I know it seems weird at first - like I said, the thought itself of attending any social place alone petrified me. That's why I pre-gamed and had a few drinks beforehand - it definitely helped. If you want to make friends and increase your sociability you have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations sometimes.
Never went a bar alone because I am a weed guy more than a alchol xD
I'm the complete opposite. I smoked a bit of weed in my teen years - eventually I began to experience paranoia, and now I hate it. Can't enjoy it at all - not to mention it decreases productivity. If I want to relax, usually my poison of choice is a shot of fireball and a nice cider. They go together beautifully.
 
It was a fucking blast. Didn’t go in with any expectations - just wanted to prove to myself I could do it. I had a few shots beforehand, and ended up shooting the shit with some random dude about stocks, marketing, and the politics. Had a girl hit on me, but I quickly shut her down and kept conversating with a newly made friend.

I was worried I’d look like some kind of weirdo - but it was quite the opposite. I don’t even know why I’m posting this, but I highly recommend trying it.

It’s very fulfilling.


This reminds me of an old thread that will randomly get mentioned from time to time. If you haven't seen it before, you're welcome: https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/h...f-material-or-wam-baam-thank-you-maam.658446/
 
Glad you had a blast. Time to venture to round 2.... It gets better.
Oh you already know I’m gonna be going back! Maybe experiment with a bit of offline marketing (I carry business cards in my wallet for this exact reason).

No expectations though.
 
Oh you already know I’m gonna be going back! Maybe experiment with a bit of offline marketing (I carry business cards in my wallet for this exact reason).

No expectations though.
Good luck! And you got it...
 
Ive thought about going out alone. I imagine it going something like this.

I drive. I park. I walk. I enter. I drink. I sit. I look around. I smoke. I drink some more. I look around some more. I get bored. I feel a little weird how everyone is all ganged up and im just by myself. I start thinking how fucking unproductive this exercise is. Im not solving any life problems, im not making money, im not even entertained for the most part. I walk. I drive. I park. I walk. I unlock my door and now im home and theres stuff to do, or ill make stuff to do.

If a weird thing happens and i strike a conversation with someone, we have nothing in common. We barely even speak the same language for the most part.

The only way i get any real fun is if i meet foreigners who are chilled and lumped together in a multicultural trip where English is the main language in which they communicate. Then we may have some fun.

But in a monocultural group where everyone walks talks thinks and acts the same way, like, i dont know what to do with that. Youve all been programmed to be a perfect little copy of everone around you for 20-30-40 years, and im just sitting there not measuring up. I dont know about easter and customs and traditions and white roses at a funerals and red roses at woman's day and all that insanity and rules you guys live with. And i dont care. Waste of space in my head.

Fuck this, im gonna go home and make some money and stroke my mouse :p
 
My tolerance for abusing others is quite low and especially when they target a fellow staff member.

That person can feel free to to to Redddit and clown about but their presence is not something that BHW thinks is best for the community.
I like you bass

That guy you banned was really weird
 
I'm the complete opposite. I smoked a bit of weed in my teen years - eventually I began to experience paranoia, and now I hate it. Can't enjoy it at all - not to mention it decreases productivity. If I want to relax, usually my poison of choice is a shot of fireball and a nice cider. They go together beautifully.
Everything is bad mate. If you eat more sugar you can get diabetics. It dosent matter weed or alchol. If we in our limits then we can enjoy the poisons and life together. ;)
 
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