I've been kidnapped by aliens!

[Deleted member 877043]

Someone should help me.

Just create a TLS-Tunnel and hide in cyberspace. They won’t find you there.

 

[Motorhead]

Now call 911

 

[Epicster]

Ya you just slept and woke up with a dream

 

[lorentzo]

I want what you smoke

 

[Deleted member 708208]

I don't know what to do for the guy but this is one of the situations where people can
make fun but maybe he is serious?

You have reality and then the individual's reality.

 

[SpawneR]

Shrooms are hell of a fun!

 

[supermex]

I love this forum.

 

[MadeInSlovenia]

shiet man you have some strong stuff over there you should consider selling that

 

[Chicilikit]

How is Elvis?

 

[thescrrr]

Guys, this isn't a joke. Everything is very serious.

When I was designing a porn site last night, the aliens were beamed into my room. They told me to calm down. They asked what humanity was using this computer for.

When I opened my eyes, I was somewhere else. I asked them where I was and what they wanted from me. They said I was in a black hole about a million miles away from the world.

They took me to a dark galaxy with stars. They put me in a cold room. An alien came and asked me questions. They said they collected information about humanity. He asked how humanity multiplied.

Then he said they'd put me to sleep. I don't remember anything from now on.

When I woke up, I was in my room again.

My friends don't believe me! They kidnapped me

And I'm scared. They can come again. I have to be protected.

Dont worry bro, it was just Mark Zuckerberg.

 

[blogzandstuff]

How is Elvis?

He's fine, enjoying riding shergar

 

[youveggie]

considering that you are back, they're friendly, and take us to the space for free, can you contact them and tell them I want to go there too? just 1 time..

 

[GenesisOne]

Well, I've been kidnapped by homo not-so-sapiens.
You should try it if you want to know what's to be scared.

Meanwhile, lower your dope dose.

 

[NulledCode]

No wonder the aliens returned you...

 

[high mike]

I believe you OP, because every single horror flick ive seen when then kid says
hes talking to little jimmy in the closet and the parents dont believe him then the parents get ripped apart and die

 

[mickyfu]

I am waiting for @mickyfu comment.

Being an abductee myself, I do not find it amusing. It's not nice when you try to tell people the truth and they are looking at you as though you are some sort of Charlie Floate compulsive lying retard.

 

[spajki323]

You need to start using cloaker

 

[JB2302]

How many times do I have to tell you, watch the stuff on VPN.
A GOOD VPN.
THIS WILL KEEP YOU SAFE FROM ALIENS.

 

[HoNeYBiRD]

OP, if you're for real, look into sleep paralysis, which can play a role in creating alien abduction or other paranormal stories. Shit is scary as fuck.

 

[mickyfu]

How many times do I have to tell you, watch the stuff on VPN.
A GOOD VPN.
THIS WILL KEEP YOU SAFE FROM ALIENS.

Most people are under the delusion that a tinfoil hat can keep the Greys (Zeta Reticulian) away. This is not true. What I have found keeps them from reading my mind and finding me, is sticking wet tea bags all over my head at night. They don't come in the day as they are nocturnal.