What Of A Procrastinator I Am..

[MehdiBmm]

I am crazy and dumb, maybe both.

I have two websites which are doing great when it comes to traffic, they still don't generate a stable income but I just need to work and produce content and I am just not doing it.

I study the French language in university actually and I'll have exams in May if I succeed I'll have my bachelor degree. But all I do is skip classes and get bad marks because I don't study (been like that since day 1 on university and it's three years ago). People always ALWAYS tell me about my potential in almost everything (just today a couple of colleagues in the class asked me why I always miss classes despite of my potential and level in French).

I don't have friends and I know I need to socialize but I don't do efforts. I am too lazy, I sit most of the time in front of the computer reading about marketing, business, and life but I implement nothing. Sometimes I get tired (even though I am doing nothing) and have to take a mini nap of 5 minutes on my bed.

I don't know what's wrong with me, I tried many things to get out of this but seems it always fails, I feel like I am cursed or someone has put a spell on me (actually I do believe in spells).

I have OCD and maybe other mental illnesses but I doubt if they're the cause.

Sometimes my situation makes me sad but most of the time, I don't care

Maybe my heart is dead? Maybe I am dead? Who knows, just wanted to discuss this with you guys and see if someone is like me, maybe you have been through this? I have nothing better to do (I do have but won't do it) so let's discuss!

 

[Deleted member 877043]

Quick question; when you go to college and/or have a test/exam; good, average, bad (outcome)?

 

[MehdiBmm]

Quick question; when you go to college and/or have a test/exam; good, average, bad (outcome)?

It depends on the modules. Written and oral expression marks are usually between good and average even if I skip the lessons. Other modules like Italian, linguistics, psychology, literacy, didactics, phonetics and grammar are generally bad.

This year I had a great mark on a module that I skipped all the lessons in it. But still, this semester didn't pass because I've got a total general mark of 9.93/20

 

[Deleted member 877043]

But still, this semester didn't pass because I've got a total general mark of 9.93/20

Do you enjoy the study, or was it more like “seems nice to learn and speak French.”?

 

[MehdiBmm]

Do you enjoy the study, or was it more like “seems nice to learn and speak French.”?

I hate studying and I always hated school since age 8. I got to the university in 2014 and was studying English and since I had a depression that time, I failed.
One year later, I switched to French because the teachers got a very bad first impression on me in the English branch.

I just want to get my Bachelor degree this year so that I close this university page forever and I'll absolutely not apply for a master degree because the university is hell (for me).

I have chosen French because I always been good in languages and I am a native French speaker (but would have preferred if I kept studying English because it's more international).

 

[jazzc]

I am crazy and dumb, maybe both.

Only dumb.

People always ALWAYS tell me about my potential in almost everything (just today a couple of colleagues in the class asked me why I always miss classes despite of my potential and level in French).

You don't have potential. Ability to act is also part of your skills - and it's currently lacking. So don't kid yourself.

I don't have friends and I know I need to socialize but I don't do efforts. I am too lazy, I sit most of the time in front of the computer reading about marketing, business, and life but I implement nothing. Sometimes I get tired (even though I am doing nothing) and have to take a mini nap of 5 minutes on my bed.

Get laid, a lot. Pay if necessary, much better than nothing.

I have OCD and maybe other mental illnesses but I doubt if they're the cause.

No you don't. You have excuses.

Maybe my heart is dead? Maybe I am dead? Who knows, just wanted to discuss this with you guys and see if someone is like me, maybe you have been through this? I have nothing better to do (I do have but won't do it) so let's discuss!

Everyone goes through deflation periods. Work on your determination to act. No matter what that action may be. You must exercise your resilience. If you're not going to the gym, go now. Make sure not to miss a single day. Things like that will make your character better and that will reflect on your mood, your person and your income.

 

[MehdiBmm]

@jazzc well you're right on some stuff but I do have OCD (I repeat some tasks ritually like opening a software, shutting on/off lights in my room successively WITHOUT valid reason) so no doubt about the OCD stuff because a professional diagnosed me.

I want to get laid but I just don't accept the idea of paying for it, tried to date girls but was unsuccessful regardless of the stuff I've read about seduction and my character of playing and flirting.

I tried GYM and basically, everyone is begging to go training with them (including my brother who has great results lately) but I don't feel like doing it, it's damn boring to go to the GYM and every time I tried to go in the past I always rush to get out because I find it damn boring.

Since you talked about GYM, I eat unhealthy food. I am tall and slim (less than 55KG) and I eat sugar A LOT. I skip dinner most of the time for candies and cakes. I love SUGAR <3 <3 <3

I don't drink water at all, only unhealthy artificial juice.

 

[Deleted member 877043]

I just want to get my Bachelor degree this year

Yep. That’s the spirit. Make sure you don’t waist all these years on nothing and get the degree. If only to show that teacher he was wrong, but mostly for your own sake.

And depression is a bitch with long tentacles that seem to pull you down from time to time. I know too well.

Try to recognize the signals ahead of time and take counter measures. I can’t really suggest you what to look out for, because we’re all different, but you know what I mean.

The thing I know is that getting enough rest is important for me. If I go on a 24 hour stretch, doing what grasped my attention at that moment, I am effed.

Hang in and GET that effin BA! After that it’s comes the next chapter.

 

[MehdiBmm]

@NotAllenTuring exactly. I am thinking about changing my life when I get that damn BA degree. I hope I do and that it's not going to end up on procrastination like it is right now.

 

[jazzc]

@jazzc well you're right on some stuff but I do have OCD (I repeat some tasks ritually like opening a software, shutting off lights in my room etc...) so no doubt about the OCD stuff because a professional analyzed me.

The horror!!! Wake the fuck up: if a fully disabled guy who needs a computer to talk can do a boatload of important things and become world renowned, you can do the minuscule tasks you're so scared of. As I said, you only have excuses.

I want to get laid but I just don't accept the idea of paying for it, tried to date girls but was unsuccessful regardless of the stuff I've read about seduction and my character of playing and flirting.

Suck up your preconceptions and pay to get the result. You can't put simple stuff in your life together yet, you don't seriously think dating is the one you're going to rock on, right? Pay for now, get that out of the equation - build yourself and then do things the way that best pleases your ego.

I tried GYM and basically, everyone is begging to go training with them (including my brother who has great results lately) but I don't feel like doing it, it's damn boring to go to the GYM and every time I tried to go in the past I always rush to get out.

Yes, it is boring. Did you miss the reason why I told you to go? It was to become mentally strong. Do boring staff. Practice doing simple boring staff like the gym (no thinking required there) and then the complex boring staff will become easy.

Since you talked about GYM, I eat unhealthy food. I am tall and slim (less than 55KG) and I eat sugar A LOT. I skip dinner most of the time for candies and cakes. I love SUGAR <3 <3 <3

Nobody cares. Go to the gym. Like tight now, log the fuck out and go.

 

[MehdiBmm]

@jazzc I don't know, most people here seem so motivated and excited to go to the GYM (and they really are, it's not that they're faking it). I know someone who never skipped a single day, hot day, rainy or even tornado he would always go happily.

I told some people I know (including my brother) to do street workout with me but nobody wanted. I want to street workout but nobody does and they all want to go to the GYM which I obviously don't want to go to.

Also if you have noticed in the original post, I know that I can accomplish stuff and succeed but I just seem to not do any efforts for it (like the two websites I told you about, they're getting good traffic with low quality and little articles).

 

[jazzc]

I obviously don't want to go to.

That's why you need to. Go. Your balls won't fall off, I promise you. This can be an easy win for you. Wanna get a win? Go.

 

[MehdiBmm]

That's why you need to. Go. Your balls won't fall off, I promise you. This can be an easy win for you. Wanna get a win? Go.

I did go one month this last summer (July or August 2017) and stopped. I did have someone I know training with me but still, I left. He tried to convince me to get back but...

 

[theRevolt]

You just have to start doing something or it will never work out. By doing one thing vs reading about 20 great ideas and planning in your head how much money you could make, you will actually end up making money.

This all is actually very simple, but a lot of people (myself included) always tend to overcomplicate things.
How easy is it? DO SOMETHING now like write content, or just outsource it and you will feel better just give it a try.

Nothing wrong with not liking studying, might just not be for you. Should you be close to finishing just focus with the mindset that it will be over after that. That way you got the piece of paper and focus on something else. However, the way you describe it won't be much different without school, so you may want to get a 9-5 just to force you to at least do something while you work on your stuff on the side

 

[jazzc]

I did go one month this last summer (July or August 2017) and stopped. I did have someone I know training with me but still, I left. He tried to convince me to get back but...

Why haven't you logged out yet?

 

[virtualpurity]

You should take Jazz advice.

I did go one month this last summer (July or August 2017) and stopped. I did have someone I know training with me but still, I left. He tried to convince me to get back but...

So far you have only made excuses and avoid taking action.

Each action is your own, if you want things to get better than YOU need to do them no body else will do them for you and stop making up excuses and bitch about it on public forums.

Take Action .. Go to the gym , it will lift your mood up and build up character and make sure to do that on daily bases. After a while you will see that doing other tings is much easier once you get a little change in your life.

Continuing with your daily routine and activities will only lead to depression and developing anxiety which i am sure you dont want.

So stop writing, log out and go out.

 

[dotc0m]

You have so much to learn...

 

[KHR]

If this violates rules, MOD please delete.​

 

[Deleted member 877043]

I did go one month this last summer (July or August 2017) and stopped. I did have someone I know training with me but still, I left. He tried to convince me to get back but...

By no means am I Dr. Phil, but have a good and long hard think about the fact that this behavior may be one of your signals that should really be recognized as a warning that you’re slipping back into another episode of depression... (djeess what a sentence)

Think about and try to find the answer to this one.

 

[MehdiBmm]

@theRev oh about that, I hate jobs. Worked only once or twice and I generally stop the first day (talking about on-site work), I wanted to work remotely with an hourly paid wage but nobody hired me (even though I applied only for CS positions).

@jazzc You know me xD

@virtualpurity thing is, is there anything other else than GYM that I can do? I had friends before and I used to hang out with them but at some point, they wanted me to be the ONLY one that calls them and tells them to get out (even though they were always out). People expect a lot from me and I don't like that especially in friendship that's why I ended like that because I no longer call people because I am sick of being the only one who calls.

@K.H.R hahaha xD