Man gets Penis stuck in Table ...

Yeah, but that surface looks too hard (ba dum tss). Combine it with elastomer and you've got yourself a new self-healing interactive sex toy.
 
The future promised me flying cars and sex robots being readily available, still waiting.
 
Where I come from, you are not a real man till you have been to A and E to have some household object removed from you penis. I reached manhood via an encounter with Henry the Hoover. I tried to teabag him.
 
Where I come from, you are not a real man till you have been to A and E to have some household object removed from you penis. I reached manhood via an encounter with Henry the Hoover. I tried to teabag him.

That bastard Henry got me hooked on Coke

 
The future promised me flying cars and sex robots being readily available, still waiting.
Man, it's because they're over here trying to give all of the sex robots citizenships.
https://www.theverge.com/2017/10/30/16552006/robot-rights-citizenship-saudi-arabia-sophia

This guy has the right idea, but it's too uncanny valley for my tastes. It not only looks creepy, but it talks like one of those spam bots that attack the forum every day.
Where I come from, you are not a real man till you have been to A and E to have some household object removed from you penis. I reached manhood via an encounter with Henry the Hoover.
I heard @Red Soviet had a similar incident with some jelly and a @Sherbert Hoover vacuum cleaner.
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If you get gold in your cuts, you can get poisoned.

Imagine trying to explain cuts full of circuit gold all over your genitals to the doctor!
 
If you get gold in your cuts, you can get poisoned.

Imagine trying to explain cuts full of circuit gold all over your genitals to the doctor!

Probably easier than explaining to the vets why you have a Chihuahua hanging off the end of your knob.
 
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