WTB/Hire Reddit marketer(s)

This is what I am looking for chooms. Whoever can do some or all of these, please reply or DM.

• Generating 20+ unique persona accounts across Reddit, aged and with credible posting histories
• Crafting 100+ new viral post/thread concepts weekly, reverse-engineering engagement triggers
• Posting 33+ times daily (for 1,000+ posts in a month) across top subreddits for crypto such as r/cryptocurrency, r/finance, r/technology etc.
• Maintaining a 5:1 ratio of general neutral posts to positive mentions of my site to avoid detection
• Producing interactive threads focused on my site like AMAs, contests, giveaways, interviews, challenges, memes etc.
• Securing upvotes/engagement from real users through incentives and influencer outreach
• Testing engagement between text, image, video post formats across platforms
• Analyzing weekly performance and shifting strategies to maximize conversions/traffic
• Executing coordinated upvoting schemes across accounts to gain momentum
• Using timezone analysis to pinpoint optimal posting times for each platform
• Experimenting with leveraging controversial current events where appropriate to ride viral waves
• Pursuing long-term penetration by seeding my site into comments, profiles, forums etc.

Edit: Maybe I missed something in the rules, but is anything four chan banned/not allowed? It automatically censored it when I spell it out. Also looking for pros for that site, here but of course only if it is allowed.

If you have bug budgets we can talk about strategies and workaround
PM me with skype or other IM handler