i feel you OP i have my share of misfortunes but why you think of it that way... instead of thinking of it as a misfortune try to accept it as a blessing... maybe its not yet the right time for you,.. maybe you are not yet prepared for the big task ahead, there are many things to consider but what will be the bottomline anyone will tell you here in this forum is DONT EVER GIVE UP... this thing of ours is not walk in the park... there are too many sacrifices and money that you will burn in order to achieve your goal... so sit back try again until it works... goodluck on life OP