Why do people not change ?

I went to a business lunch the other day with my boss and the speaker asked a question that I think relates to what we are doing.

He asked the crowd of businessmen this question - "Why do people not change?"

The crowd responded with "Fear", "Comfortable", etc etc. Common responses to what seems to be a simple question.

And then, the speaker held up his hand, quieted the crowd and said the thing that has been running around in my head for the last 4 days. He said, "People don't change because it doesn't hurt enough yet."

When I heard him say that I reflected on my journey of the past year. Why didn't I made money for the past year ? Because it didn't hurt enough. Why did I use my job as a reason to exclude internet marketing from my life? Because it didn't hurt enough. Why could I come up with a million reasons that I didn't need internet marketing in my life or that internet marketing wasn't the one for me etc etc etc ad nauseum? Because it didn't hurt enough yet!
By the way BHW need to have a self help section .

Could see that but probably deeper than me wanting to play quarters with my belly button. I believe people secretly crave pain and don't know it. Every take the Browns to the Super Bowl plus their fans? When done one make cry in triumph or shout for glory? I mean, otherwise one would have to drink prune juice 3x daily.

That is an interesting theory. Could also be some people are egotistical and stubborn and set in there ways as well.

Because pathetic hipster douchebags keep pushing this "be yourself" mantra when really, sometimes, people are a POS and the world would be better without certain individuals.

So, we get people who won't change because "I am me and I am wonderful!" type attitudes and then they go on to be people like this guy. Notice the lack of cleanliness and disgusting background. Pretty sure no one would miss this guy.

people and change ,some do some don't ,it depends what his or hers personality was ,example if he/she was bad when she was young they might mature.

Hahahahaha you are one sad cunt. Not 1 single positive post out of 347 LOL.

archon10 said:

Because pathetic hipster douchebags keep pushing this "be yourself" mantra when really, sometimes, people are a POS and the world would be better without certain individuals.

So, we get people who won't change because "I am me and I am wonderful!" type attitudes and then they go on to be people like this guy. Notice the lack of cleanliness and disgusting background. Pretty sure no one would miss this guy.

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rasmusk said:

Hahahahaha you are one sad cunt. Not 1 single positive post out of 347 LOL.

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I'm fucking awesome, buddy. <~~ positive comment

Made me realize something about myself... now I feel bad.

they not change maybe they got themselves hurt too much and enough....

People do change their ways, make changes, actually all the time! But we as outsiders don't see or feel those changes because we aren't deeply involved with the situation they are in. For example, see a footballer... When attacking, he moves in an almost predictable manner, but when he sees a challenge approaching his goal, he changes his moves, either slowly or suddenly. When he is defending, he calculates, with practised skills or with sudden innovative steps, or even sometimes in a very mistaken manner,he tries to stay with the situation and tries to find a way that will help him or those who he is a part... He will not respond to people's calls to change his moves unless his mind accepts that the call is a really good for trying... This example occurs very casually in daily life of most sane people. There may be more physiological psychological or even pathological reasons attached to the phenomenon... Some cases may not have any reasons attached at all, but the changes will happen.


This example is universally valid when one is deeply involved in the given situation, AND, when he is duty/action bound to it in most cases, just like a good footballer is. Those moments when he makes those changes or is made to make those changes are good testing times imo....

92booba said:

"People don't change because it doesn't hurt enough yet."
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That guy hit the nail on the head with that one. I think about everything that keeps me miserable, also keeps me comfortable.

The fact is, people change all the time. Some people spend their entire lives reinventing themselves.

The real problem is most people just don't notice cause they're too concerned with their own lives. A big change for me or you is a very small change to someone else. If I put on 30lbs of muscle in the next 3 months, that would be a huge change for me. If you get a promotion at your job, that would be a BIG change for you. But it would be a very small change to other people.

Same thing with learning. People are learning all the time but you don't actually SEE THIS happening. You don't see people getting smarter. You don't see them getting more mature. At least, not until many years have passed by.

In fact, I don't think there is 1 person on this entire planet who hasn't change in 1 way or another. Change is the essence of evolution and life. A person may struggle with drug addiction their whole life, say like Phillip Seymour Hoffman or Robin Williams. But when you view their lives over the course of 40-50 years, you see huge, profound changes.

So I think it's the way humans measure change that's the problem. And also the nature of change itself blinds many people to recognizing it. REAL change happens so slow most people don't see it. Or they're not looking for it in the first place. Like when I got my cracked tooth fixed. That was a HUGE CHANGE for me. I didn't smile for almost a year because I was so embarrassed people would see my cracked tooth and I didn't have dental insurance. When I got it fixed I was so happy I cried driving home from the dentist. But to other people? They didn't even notice. When my brother got married, that was a HUGE change for him. To me? I didn't notice anything. He was still the same exact person to me. That's why, it's not really till 10 years pass by, and you look back that you REALLY notice change. It's not measured in days or weeks or even months, but years and decades.

-BB

I get what you are saying, but there is no way you can put on 30lbs of muscle in 3 month.

**edited**

Hmm... Dear Mods/Admin, Shouldn't we have the +Reps as Age displayed on the profile box at the upper right corner? Please, we should... it should/can change dynamically too with members' participation.

jk

People only change when they see they need to, and everyone is half blind.

People don't change because it doesn't hurt enough yet

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This strikes me as one of those sweeping, soundbite generalisations speakers make to sound wise.

Although it may be true for some people in some instances, it certainly isn't applicable to all change.

Yes, there are some people who don't want to make changes because they are too lazy or fearful - and eventually it becomes easier to make the change than to live with the consequences of not changing.

But there are also people who like change, who look for it, who embrace it, who enjoy it.

And the changes they make have nothing to do with stopping themselves from hurting.

That sweeping statement implies that all changes are made to stop pain - which is totally untrue.

Trepanated said:

This strikes me as one of those sweeping, soundbite generalisations speakers make to sound wise.

Although it may be true for some people in some instances, it certainly isn't applicable to all change.

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It's probably more widespread than you realise. Yes it is a very vague generalisation but many people I know are happy to plod along just about making a living. The only time they decide to do something about it is when they can no longer survive on their income.

Personally I have always strived for better, I believe that I and my family are worth more but several friends of mine who have the capability to do more choose not to because they are content with what they have.

When the pain of not being able to survive on what they have kicks in they are then forced to change but they choose not to until that time. Maybe it's just a common thing with people I know but it certainly won't be exclusive.

Today, I changed my delicious creamer to a more delicious coffee creamer. It was delicious. I have seen the light and changed my ways.

archon10 said:

Because pathetic hipster douchebags keep pushing this "be yourself" mantra when really, sometimes, people are a POS and the world would be better without certain individuals.

So, we get people who won't change because "I am me and I am wonderful!" type attitudes and then they go on to be people like this guy. Notice the lack of cleanliness and disgusting background. Pretty sure no one would miss this guy.

Click to expand...

Such terrible things to say about another human being.