What is wrong with me?

Appturbo said:

I can't seem to find peace, even when things are okay.

I am always on a edge, always looking to do more and even when I distract myself, I am still thinking of improving things, focusing my weaknesses and etc.

I can be thinking about 3-4 topics all together, analyzing and working on different stuff) I don't seem to have option to turn off, and chill

I just want to enjoy life) like most of the people do, instead I keep pushing myself, relentlessly and I don't even know why.

Can this be fixed or how is there a way to balance this?

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It's not just for you mate. You think most of people are enjoying life, especially when you check social media but that's not all the truth. How you know if they not stuck in enjoying their life just like you? Everything looks beautiful, nice and happy in social media or even real world when people do not show their real emotion so just do not think that everyone is happy except than you.

Next, I want to introduce a book which helps to get out of this feeling. It's written by James Hollis and called: https://pdfcoffee.com/181066258-james-hollis-swamplands-of-the-soul-new-life-in-dismal-places-pdfpdf-pdf-free.html

Well dont wory you dont have a huge problem as also rich and succesful people have this problem
For example we have bilionaires in this world who dont have any satisfaction on their achievments
I would advise you to speak with a psichologist to help you or give you some advices ,its not any shame in doing this
Or if you dont want then i think some meditation would help ,clearing your mind etc

SilverClouds said:

You mean meditation itself pisses you off? XDDD

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@Yes.

It's like the exact opposite of what it's supposed to be for me.

Relaxation.

Zen.

But for me it's pure unadulterated rage.

the way I see it, nothing is wrong with you.. maybe try getting into stuff you are passionate about [looks like that's the only thing you are lacking - hence the burnout/ lack of enjoyment] where the more you apply these qualities, the more content you will feel.

Appturbo said:

I can't seem to find peace, even when things are okay.

I am always on a edge, always looking to do more and even when I distract myself, I am still thinking of improving things, focusing my weaknesses and etc.

I can be thinking about 3-4 topics all together, analyzing and working on different stuff) I don't seem to have option to turn off, and chill

I just want to enjoy life) like most of the people do, instead I keep pushing myself, relentlessly and I don't even know why.

Can this be fixed or how is there a way to balance this?

Click to expand...

Take it slow and calm down, just try to identify yourself and try to mingle with people who can give you and idea. I believe you're looking for how to make money with the content to write.

Appturbo said:

I can't seem to find peace, even when things are okay.

I am always on a edge, always looking to do more and even when I distract myself, I am still thinking of improving things, focusing my weaknesses and etc.

I can be thinking about 3-4 topics all together, analyzing and working on different stuff) I don't seem to have option to turn off, and chill

I just want to enjoy life) like most of the people do, instead I keep pushing myself, relentlessly and I don't even know why.

Can this be fixed or how is there a way to balance this?

Click to expand...

It's the same for everybody, everybody looks very good on the outside, but nobody tells anybody about their unhappy side. What you need to do here is to accept the problems and find solutions. Because if you always postpone your problems, you will face bigger problems later on because they will keep accumulating.

I hope you're feeling better. I also hope some of the advice has been helpful to you during this time.

Maybe you can find peace in classical music