What do you do to gather yourself?

When you have a big loss, whether it's a loss of money, or loss of time on a project, what do you do to cut ties and gather your thoughts to move on?

Personally, I try to a weekend off (hard for a workaholic), I have a few beers (optional, not really a drinker), cook a few steaks, and listen to Metallica or Slayer, sometimes it can be that simple, simply getting my mind off my problems and 'air drumming' some Sandman or South of Heaven, sometimes it's more difficult to swallow a pill and take a loss and taking time off doesn't really work.

So, what do you do to empower yourself when you're feeling down?

i push it down... way down, till it forms into some sort of circulating lava. this usually fuels me for the months to come.

5 hours off and a movie.
Then next day is here.

my favorite thing in times like those is to watch movies and get really intoxicated. a little escapism like that, or even a quick vacation like a couple days at the beach or something. although, as a fellow workaholic, I am much happier if i just go get a bite to eat and think about how to bounce back.

Nobody here is a workaholic. We are work and business enthusiasts. I am not working much, but I am enthusiastic and don't try to cut myself off from it.

Take some time to myself to recollect my thoughts.
I keep my mind off it by watching a movie, going out, reading books etc.
But, regardless my mind would still attempt to understand wtf happened.
It would probably play back in my head 1298312039123812039182301231820093128043 times "what if" it went this way.
By then, I probably just want to stop caring and completely over it.

xReminisce said:

Take some time to myself to recollect my thoughts.
I keep my mind off it by watching a movie, going out, reading books etc.
But, regardless my mind would still attempt to understand wtf happened.
It would probably play back in my head 1298312039123812039182301231820093128043 times "what if" it went this way.
By then, I probably just want to stop caring and completely over it.

Click to expand...

Yeah I for sure know what happened and have learned from it, that's why I'm trying to move on and get better. I'm not using escapism as a full cure, just as a way to refresh my brain after a 'traumatic' event.

In September, I lost $100k in unrealized gains, in February, I made it back and lost it again, then took time off to work on projects, and after 5 months, my project failed. I decided to put this all behind me this week, I've ordered some books to learn more about trading, and for my failed website venture, I took a step back and realized it's not so bad, and it's salvageable but will take a lot of work, but it's doable, so is my trading situation, I like to kick back and switch off for a few days, usually helps me get a few new ideas to try

If I was a trader, I don't think I would be able to sleep at night. No way!

It's normal you won't be able to continue if you lose so much. I would change occupation.

crnack said:

If I was a trader, I don't think I would be able to sleep at night. No way!

It's normal you won't be able to continue if you lose so much. I would change occupation.

Click to expand...

Firstly trading is not my occupation, I'm a freelance marketer by trade, but I do trade regularly.

I have a big, safe stock/index portfolio that has been averaging into stocks for the last year, I dropped $25k into my options account, which I turned into $100k twice, and lost it twice, pretty unfortunate but common.

Just for clarity, this wasn't trading meme stocks like GME/AMC or crypto, this was purely playing directional SPY and VXX, and $90k was made on Tesla and CCIV options.

I'm not worried about my losses, I've been studying options and have made a lot of good trades, the way I look at it, which is not how i'd like to look at it, is it was easy come easy go, and was a learning lesson for me. The real money is in buying and holding, which is what I do with the majority of my savings.

It's the fact that I spent the last year working on a website and was not able to finish it, coupled with the losses in unrealized gains (I have not yet lost my actual money, just gains I had not realized it).

Anyway, life moves on, just thought i'd share/listen to the community. Everyone is different.

crnack said:

If I was a trader, I don't think I would be able to sleep at night. No way!

It's normal you won't be able to continue if you lose so much. I would change occupation.

Click to expand...

Traders who can't sleep obviously make very risky trades at risky, pivotal times. I sleep okay knowing I have shares or long dated options. Sometimes it makes me sad that I could have bought a house with my gains, but these are the kinds of lessons one needs to move forward.

Sometimes you have a bad time, but rough times are what shape us.

I was losing in every single area for the past 3 years. Felt like $100k lost, but 2 months in solitude and I'm back on my journey.

crnack said:

I was losing in every single area for the past 3 years. Felt like $100k lost, but 2 months in solitude and I'm back on my journey.

Click to expand...

I had real losses like that from 19 to 25 hold strong, you will make it through.

Nihilism said:

trading is not my occupation

Click to expand...

Everyone's a trader.

Some trade time for money. Others trade sex for money. Most trade freedom for money.

I would simply request a videocall with some other SEO's,programmers,business people to discuss what I did and hear their thoughts over what I did wrong I guess once I have heard their thoughts I would ask them if they think I could keep doing this project or dump it?

If they say dump it then probably do it then move on.

First, i'll accept that XYZ just happened and that there is nothing i can do about it to change it (atleast if its really not changeable). Then i'll accept that life is a constant game of winning and losing (especially as an entreprenuer mostly losing). And if i won't lose first, i will probably never win. You have to take risks and learn from your mistakes if you wanna become successful.

Then its important to see where the mistakes was. If it's something that is my fault, then i'll write it down, think about it in my head and i'll try to imagine how i could do it better next time (What can i do to improve XYZ, What can i do if XYZ ever happens again) - Really take some time to reflect on the mistake itself and really try to think about it, perhaps even write it down.

After i have realized what the mistake was and how it can be fixed its time to move on. Like i said in the beginning. Losses happen and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. No matter if you are losing money, a loved one or your wife. That's how life works. So you need to find a way to cope with things like that.

First realize that life constantly changes and evolves (Losses happen, even if you try your hardest to prevent it. So just keep that in mind)
Take time to reflect on the loss/the problem and come up with solutions.
After you have done that, you can take some time off. It's probably not the best idea to work when you have the wrong mindset. So take some time, come back with a solution for your problem and then try again.

Nihilism said:

When you have a big loss, whether it's a loss of money, or loss of time on a project, what do you do to cut ties and gather your thoughts to move on?

Personally, I try to a weekend off (hard for a workaholic), I have a few beers (optional, not really a drinker), cook a few steaks, and listen to Metallica or Slayer, sometimes it can be that simple, simply getting my mind off my problems and 'air drumming' some Sandman or South of Heaven, sometimes it's more difficult to swallow a pill and take a loss and taking time off doesn't really work.

So, what do you do to empower yourself when you're feeling down?

Click to expand...

Good question. Honestly for me I just move past it right away without taking any time to reflect on it.

I don't think that's a strength though. I just use it as a defence mechanism because I feel that the more time I give it, the more I will be down about it and blame myself for the mishap. Maybe I should take more time to reflect and analyze it.

However, there are a few things that are exceptions to that in my life - I have lost and never have been able to let go, which festers self-hatred and blame. These things take all the space of pain and reflection, so I think that's why I don't take time to think about the other losses.

There are plenty of things which you can do in case you want to gather yorself, you know, to distract from daily routines and stuff like that.You can find a hobby for yourself and do this activty while you're relaxing. Of course this hobby must be relaxing because the ther is no need to rest at all. You can spend your weekends with your closest and get positive emotions. You are able to go to the gym and also get positive emotions. Everythings depends on what you like. What you like then do it.