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Update with sobriety - it gets WAY better

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by pewep, Jun 9, 2016.

  1. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Hey guys, I just wanted to make a semi-quick update on how being 100% sober from alcohol is going.

    To make a long story short - it healed my soul. I've been completely sober for 77 days, 16 hours and 56 minutes and 45 seconds (not that I'm counting) and this year I've only drank about 3 times total. I think a lot of you guys already knew I struggled with alcoholism and trying to get sober for years (I started trying 4 years ago). Now, while in our culture my amount doesn't seem completely outrageous - I'd drink about 2 to 4 times a week - every time I drank I got absolutely rip roaring drunk from 12-18+ beers in a night. It's the definition of binge drinking and it really did a number on me. Anyway here's what I've learned:

    The Good:
    - I lost weight. A lot of it without even trying. I was 240 and now I'm 215 and I barely go to the gym. 25 lbs gone in 6 months isn't too bad but it's kinda slowing down so I'm gonna start working out regularly. I want to be around 180.
    - My nightmares are almost completely gone. I still get them every week - the usual bs with insects (wasps, spiders) but they are WAY, WAY, WAY less intense than they used to be. My sleep has improved so much I feel like I'm in heaven. You have no idea how good it feels to just sleep when you want without worrying about your dreams. It's truly a blessing.
    - Therefore, my insect phobia began improving significantly. I have no issues going outside and just enjoying the weather. Well, not exactly but it's much better than before. I was deathly afraid of wasps since my subconscious tortured me with them so much lol. I started trying to challenge myself when I'm outside. Small stuff like walking by a bush infested with bugs without running, going to the mailbox when they are all about, etc... I just trying to push my boundaries daily because if I can do it once, I can do it again.
    - Pimples cleared up. My chin especially used to be a landmine but now I rarely get pimples anymore and if I do they are generally small. My skin looks a lot better I think - especially comparing how I look to my driver's license.
    - I can feel my life force restarting. This is so important to me. I hated feeling sluggish/tired constantly and not wanting to do anything at all. About 10ish days ago, I felt a growing energy inside of me like my body wanted to start running, jumping, living like it used to when I was younger. This was incredible.
    - As a result I can also feel a lot of issues in my chakras clearing up. The pain is still there but it's not as bothersome or as frightening as it used to be.
    - Subtle changes in my mental state. I can honestly say that I genuinely feel like a happier person today than I did when I was drinking. And it shows in my face and in my spirit. I love talking to my parents and they tell me how happy I look :) instead of asking me what I'm worried about. I love that.
    - Money. It's kind of funny how much more money I have now that I'm not wasting it on alcohol. More money = less work :).

    The Challenges:
    - Finding stuff to fill up my time with. I'm really lucky because I know that I can fill it up with meditation but others won't be so fortunate and they'll have to find something else to do. Alcohol is a huge time waster and once you're free, you kinda wonder wtf to do and that usually ends up with picking up the bottle again.
    - Having fun. This is something that takes literally years to develop and only gets better about 1-2 months after being sober. You can have FUN - real fun without being drunk. It feels different but it's cleaner and to be honest more fulfilling. I have absolutely no desire to drink in order to enjoy my time because I know I can hit that magical dopamine state just as easily if I do something that really engages me. Even then, it's still hard and sometimes I have to just sit back and take a few moments to realize that not everything has to be fun all the time. It's okay to just chill out and have down times.
    - Meeting new people. This is a big one. Most of my friends drink and I'm still with them but I can't party or be around booze because it would put me in a weird state to not be able to enjoy the party with them. Just find other people who are sober or talk to them online. You kind of have to build up a new community from scratch but it's worth it. I'm fortunate because a lot of my psi friends are 100% sober so I feel like it's brought me closer to them.

    Anyway that's mostly it, feel free to ask me any questions. There's a lot, lot more I didn't include because it's too personal for this kind of place but yeah. Hope everyone is doing alright.
     
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  2. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Of course you feel better, you stopped drinking the poison I put in my gas tank when I need to pass smog.
    [​IMG]

    Out of curiosity, do you have trouble finding other people to be around (in person) who aren't obsessed with alcohol?
     
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  3. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Bonus: Your dingaling works way, way better than it did before.

    (I know this for a fact.)
     
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  4. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Whoa, what's going on here?

    Do I need to complete the Alwaysinvisible & Pewep love story with consummation? :p
     
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  5. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    If you do I am officially done with you. I will wash my hands of you.
     
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  6. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Well, honestly yeah kinda. What I mean is that most people generally don't see what the big deal is but usually we are pretty cool. I make it clear that I don't drink and don't intend to but I can hang out with them anyway.
    Nothing better than waking up with a big morning rager :D, this is very true.
     
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  7. SkullGuy

    SkullGuy Regular Member

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    Congrats! I've nearly 5 years sober, myself. I wish you the best and hang in there. Life is worth living. Meditation helped me a great deal as well. It's all about changing your thinking. I can tell you this. You will get to the point where you will wonder where you found the time to drink. Sobriety is an awesome thing.
     
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  8. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    Sun, Mon, Tue, WTF, Sat!!! :)
    From now on, you'll not be under the influence of the devil. You'll be your own real self when you go on the really wonderful self realization trips! :)

    Good! I'm (really :)) happy for you!
     
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  9. RedMango

    RedMango Power Member

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    I've calmed my drinking down, not binge drinking but often ie. everyday but only a few and more on a weekend. Only in the house on my own, I suppose this when I realised it was a problem. Been drinking as a get out of stress thing since about 14 years old (now 33). Hit it hard about 8 years ago (major and multiple stresses, lost my dad and had major financial problems), and only the last two years (when my daughter was born) did I calm it right down to 3-6 bottles of beer over a weekend (not through the week unless like tonight I have lots of stuff going on in my head).

    I've tried meditation and liked it, but don't have the time for it. I suppose this is the double-edged sword as without meditation I'll probably have a drink but with meditation it would probably steer me away from it.

    Well done dude, I hope you keep this updated, it might just inspire me to completely stop.
     
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  10. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    What if I release the 3rd paragraph rather than complete the entire story?
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2016
  11. umerjutt00

    umerjutt00 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  12. charliebrooker

    charliebrooker Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Good to read. My ex girlfriend hid an alochol problem that exploded into every day drinking, I'm talking a bottle of spirits plus bottles of wine a day.

    It was horrific to watch and terrible to see how it destroys someone.

    So well done.
     
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  13. Mrnewbie

    Mrnewbie Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Its a hard road and everyday there is a struggle. I know with myself its a day to day thing I have to battle the rest of my life but I want to have a good life with my wife and parents. Just remember all the things drinking has done to you and not for you and remember you have support here anytime. Pm or skype me anytime if you need.
     
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  14. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Is the third paragraph dirty?

    ...Wait, why am I having this conversation with you?
     
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  15. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Thank you guys for the supportive messages. I read pretty much every reply I ever get, even if I don't answer them and you guys inspire me many times. I hope you all have a great day and if you need any support (because I know how hard addiction can be) feel free to message me. Love you folks.
     
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  16. HenryHavoc

    HenryHavoc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Hello friend! I am in recovery as well. 2.5 years for me and I am 22 years old. My original problem was heroin, but I have found that drinking turns me into the same demon that opiates did, and therefore I identify as an alcoholic as well.

    Life before I got sober sucked. My parents wanted nothing to do with me, I was 50lbs underweight, I had no job, place to stay, nothing. Fast forward two and a half years and I'm making 80k a year at a job I love, I got a mortgage with the girl I love, and bought a great car. I have no debts, I pay for great healthcare, and as of this very moment I am in an airport traveling to costa rica for 8 days. Life could not be any better (I said that same thing a year ago but continued to surprise myself).

    I am thrilled for your sobriety. Those first 90 days are really tough. If you're ever in south florida and want to hit a meeting, grab coffee, or collab on a project, let me know! You are a miracle.

    Stay humble, help others, and give thanks when it is due, and you will be just fine.
     
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  17. MrHkz

    MrHkz Newbie

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    Well done man. Truly happy for you. Life is beautiful.
     
  18. rob1977

    rob1977 Power Member

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    I was never an alcoholic pers se, but after Iraq I fell into the habit of three or four cans a night "to help me sleep" and binge on the weekends.

    I couldn't predict my moods, I was always shattred, and sluggish. If there was something preying on my mind it would come out with the drink. I decided to take back control and stopped completely. I love being sober, I don't mind other people being drunk. at first its hard being around drinkers as you feel a bit of an outsider, and introverted. I discovered that I didn't need alcohol to be a lunatic so I fitted right in lol.

    in all seriousness though, socially I discovered there were two types of people. there were those who would completely ignore you or judge you because you didn't drink (in some cases even make stupid comments like 'I don't trust people who don't drink because......' they don't realise how stupid they sound but sure that's their issue. there were those who didn't care, who treated you the same no matter what. I just stuck with the latter and laughed at the former.

    life is good as a non drinker smug smug smug lol you wont regret it, and it will help your other interests grow.
     
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  19. HenryHavoc

    HenryHavoc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Thank you my friend! Life is truly incredible these days. Have a great one!
     
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  20. MrHkz

    MrHkz Newbie

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    Right on man.
     
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