Tell any joke...

On the way to a bar a man crosses some traintracks. He sees an attractive woman tied up to the tracks, so he unties her and they have sex.

The man gets to the bar and talks to his friends about the wild sex he just had randomly and about all the crazy positions they fucked in.

His friend says "Woah, thats crazy man. Did you get head too?"

"Nah" he says. "I couldn't find it".
 
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Haha :)

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dragansk said:
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough." hahaha
Click to expand...
 
Little boy blew.. He needed the money! :dancing2:

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
And said, "Hey! What's in the bowl, bitch!

Hold that thought!

"Why does Dr. pep-per come in a can? Because his wife left him, and he needed the money and he sucked at seo optimization!
 
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Ste goes into a bar,
Bar tender ask:do you want a vodka
Ste:this kw is not good,not easy to rank.
 
Tell a girl shes pretty 100 times she wont believe you Tell a girl shes fat once and she'll remember it forever cause elephants never forget :P
 
A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, the son volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates."
About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
He sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not' take the silver plate .. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
your son
Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read:
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
 
Sick one:

Bloke at hospital his wife is giving birth. Doctor comes out to see him and says "you'd better sit down, I've got some good news and some bad news".

Shit says the bloke - what's the bad news?

"Well - your wifes had the baby and it's ginger"

"Fuck" says the bloke - "that's awful. What's the good news?"



Doctor - "It's dead".
 
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