B
Banned member 185991
Guest
I've been taking SEO/IM a little more seriously over the last few months... Doing it constantly has opened my eyes to a lot of shit so I though rather than spend this even posting about shitting on peoples doorsteps or making love to animals like I normally do I'd do something semi constructive...
How to be less shit at this.
Why the fuck are we in 2016 and we are still making shit affiliate sites? We live in an age where web development is cheap as fuck, yet all of you mongs are constantly still producing shitty review blogs or bullshit nonsense YouTube videos.
Why is it every time I find an affiliate site I get that fucking annoyed I deliberately do not click your links? When was the last time you saw an affiliate site and thought "fuck thats awesome..."? It does not happen and in my eyes that's just fucking retarded.
It's time we open our eyes and do less bullshit. The internet is a beautiful invention, so why are we polluting it with crap? That's just not cool man, and you should stop.
North Face XPS
Who thought that a web page designed to pick the perfect jacket for you would be cool enough to make you say "oh fuck..." like it did to me?
By answering simple questions which are generated on the fly with real answers this app will point out the perfect product from the entire North Face range. I want you to go and play with this app for a few minutes see the power of it, it will blow your mind (and if it doesn't you don't have a clue about anything and you're a hopeless idiot).
Doesn't it kind of make you want to share the website with others? Don't you feel more connection with something like this than a typical ecommerce store? Aren't you more likely to buy after something like this? I felt all those things after playing with it and again, if you didn't you're hopeless.
Now this site was built with IBM's Watson, and it's unlikely this would be cheap or easy, but if you can afford an Indian for a few days you can build something similar.
You are going to need a database on your products, for this example lets look at drones.
You are now going to need a list of product attributes which can be used to filter down your product list, for drones we could use:
From these questions any decent developer would be able to create an SQL query designed to pick up the products which suit their needs, feed in your amazon/affiliate links and serve your already written product reviews and you're away.
You could easily get something built that is like this for less than $500. Development is cheap, and when you compare something like North Face XPS against a standard shitty review blog it's easy to see that this is cooler, better and will probably make you more fucking money.
CamelCamelCamel...
Wouldn't it be cool if a website existed that told you when products you were interested in were cheap or on sale? wouldn't it be cool if these things emailed you links directly when products hit certain prices or when prices dropped under the average price?
Well, look at camelcamelcamel.com
Wouldn't something like this be far more popular with users and real ready waiting buyers than your shit "best anal dildos 2016" blog?
Who doesn't want cheap shit, and who wouldn't want alerts sent to them when shit they can't afford now got cheap? This is that good that I think this should be a feature of amazon, not a fucking affiliate website.
Building this would not be simple, cheap or easy... but don't you think you will drive far more conversions with this than a crappy table comparing electric shavers?
And think about it, once you know one product the user wants and once you collect an email or they create an account... why not push more shit to them. They want an iphone 7? next year send them alerts for iphone 8... They want outdoor jackets, they probably are the type of person who buy outdoor trousers or walking boots... Sort your life out, are you able to do this with blogs/tables/review sites. No.
If you were a real company would you go and build internet properties like this, or spam filled blogs with content written by non-engish speaking mongs?
Isn't it insane that people are building genuinely helpful/cool websites like this and you and your mates and working out ways on how to spam YouTube with crap reviews you ripped off another channel or building shite blogs about things you don't give a fuck about?
You are all doing it wrong, and that makes you retarded.
How to be less shit at this.
Why the fuck are we in 2016 and we are still making shit affiliate sites? We live in an age where web development is cheap as fuck, yet all of you mongs are constantly still producing shitty review blogs or bullshit nonsense YouTube videos.
Why is it every time I find an affiliate site I get that fucking annoyed I deliberately do not click your links? When was the last time you saw an affiliate site and thought "fuck thats awesome..."? It does not happen and in my eyes that's just fucking retarded.
It's time we open our eyes and do less bullshit. The internet is a beautiful invention, so why are we polluting it with crap? That's just not cool man, and you should stop.
North Face XPS
Who thought that a web page designed to pick the perfect jacket for you would be cool enough to make you say "oh fuck..." like it did to me?

By answering simple questions which are generated on the fly with real answers this app will point out the perfect product from the entire North Face range. I want you to go and play with this app for a few minutes see the power of it, it will blow your mind (and if it doesn't you don't have a clue about anything and you're a hopeless idiot).
Doesn't it kind of make you want to share the website with others? Don't you feel more connection with something like this than a typical ecommerce store? Aren't you more likely to buy after something like this? I felt all those things after playing with it and again, if you didn't you're hopeless.
Now this site was built with IBM's Watson, and it's unlikely this would be cheap or easy, but if you can afford an Indian for a few days you can build something similar.
You are going to need a database on your products, for this example lets look at drones.
You are now going to need a list of product attributes which can be used to filter down your product list, for drones we could use:
- radio range
- will it fly outdoors?
- FPV camera
- flying style (racing, photography, general flying...)
- size
- pre built or bind and fly
From these questions any decent developer would be able to create an SQL query designed to pick up the products which suit their needs, feed in your amazon/affiliate links and serve your already written product reviews and you're away.
You could easily get something built that is like this for less than $500. Development is cheap, and when you compare something like North Face XPS against a standard shitty review blog it's easy to see that this is cooler, better and will probably make you more fucking money.
CamelCamelCamel...
Wouldn't it be cool if a website existed that told you when products you were interested in were cheap or on sale? wouldn't it be cool if these things emailed you links directly when products hit certain prices or when prices dropped under the average price?
Well, look at camelcamelcamel.com
Wouldn't something like this be far more popular with users and real ready waiting buyers than your shit "best anal dildos 2016" blog?

Who doesn't want cheap shit, and who wouldn't want alerts sent to them when shit they can't afford now got cheap? This is that good that I think this should be a feature of amazon, not a fucking affiliate website.
Building this would not be simple, cheap or easy... but don't you think you will drive far more conversions with this than a crappy table comparing electric shavers?
And think about it, once you know one product the user wants and once you collect an email or they create an account... why not push more shit to them. They want an iphone 7? next year send them alerts for iphone 8... They want outdoor jackets, they probably are the type of person who buy outdoor trousers or walking boots... Sort your life out, are you able to do this with blogs/tables/review sites. No.
If you were a real company would you go and build internet properties like this, or spam filled blogs with content written by non-engish speaking mongs?
Isn't it insane that people are building genuinely helpful/cool websites like this and you and your mates and working out ways on how to spam YouTube with crap reviews you ripped off another channel or building shite blogs about things you don't give a fuck about?
You are all doing it wrong, and that makes you retarded.
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