So who's got ADD/ADHD?
- Thread starter DamageX
- Start date
)I was diagnosed as a young child.. But I, like many, never believed that it was real. I'm 29, now, and until late last year - I still always thought that it was just a-lot of bullshit. And I looked upon people who take medications as morons who want an easy way out.
Well- guess what- it's very real. And it's a god damned nightmare from the pits of hell. After all of this time trying to figure out why I do certain things, I have my answer.
I do things like this
Thinking constantly about 100 things, can't fucking stop my racing thoughts
Can come up with solutions to 100 things or write out 100 good ideas but can't fucking do anything
Climb walls thinking about what I need to do but can't stay with ONE THING long enough
Write out all kinds of good ideas but it's useless because
I know that to anyone who isn't this way, it seems like laziness. It's not. When I can't do anything I climb up a wall. I can't sleep for 50 hours at a time, I don't eat anything I even and so stressed I forget to shower and shave
People who say it's not real aren't helping, but I do understand why they say it and think it- because I was one of them for 28 years
Adderall is a fucking miracle, for me. I know that it's amp salts and that normal people can use it to get a high, so everyone thinks it has no legitimate uses. Well. It does. When I take it, my thoughts stop racing, I'm able to cope with stressful situations and I get things done (such as internet work, and any projects I want to work on)
The downside is that if you take it when you're in the middle of a crisis situation it can make you what I call "action seeking". And it does cause me to not sleep for longer periods of time (without it- when I am stressed- I stay awake for a long time, anyway, it just allows that to be prolonged)
What I didn't know about adderall is that when it's wearing off and you have not slept for a long time.. you go into some kind of panic like state. I was in the middle of a hellstorm of bad things happening (tragedy and shit like that) and I was taking it ... not eating or sleeping for DAYS at a time ....
And though I've never been a gambler, or stupid enough to do something like this -- I ended up gambling every day, driving around aimlessly, sold everything I had off and lost my apartment and to top it all off I finally I ended up driving 122mph with alcohol in my system (I had been awake for 4 days and hadn't eaten or slept- I was a disaster)
I thought I was doing good by not abusing it (never taking more than X amount daily) but by letting it wear off and by NOT sleeping I apparently went into some kind of meltdown mode.
Now I'm hopelessly fucked and the one thing that seemed to help me kind of scares me. I never abused the stuff.. I would take 10mg 2-3 times per day and NEVER took more than that. Since I got into all of that trouble, I have only taken it a handfull of times.
Adderall has GREAT results for me when I am not in the middle of a crisis situation. It's damned amazing. I can be "normal" in that I can sit down, see a task through, think things through in steps, etc. It is a miracle, to me. It just has to be respected and you have to be careful of it.
I can't drive for two years, now and my cars and my home are gone. ADHD and medications for it both are VERY serious business. I feel that ADHD is why I climbed so many walls in my life while KNOWING what needed to be done yet being STRESSED TO HELL about everything that needed to be done instead of DOING IT --- I was NOT lazy -- if I was, I would not have been pacing floors worrying about doing everything.
As an aside - I'm not normal, I guess, I left school when I was twelve years old.. I had finished all grades including high school at age twelve. I was some kind of a boy genius, and I did make quite a bit of money for several years. When I started drinking everything went to hell - drinking was my way of "making my mind stop" - NOW I KNOW that I was self medicating, that whole time
If you suspect that you may have ADHD and you're drinking or smoking or ANYTHING like that - do your research and get it figured out. DO NOT end up like me. DO NOT let everyone tell you that ADHD isn't real. If I would have had a chance to address this, years ago, I might be alright now. There's not much hope as things stand. My home is gone, my cars are gone, I can't drive, I'm going to jail and I pretty much hate myself. DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!! SO MANY TALENTED INTELLIGENT PEOPLE LIKE US END UP LIKE THIS, BECAUSE WE'RE DIFFERENT- WHEN WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL. I COULD HAVE OWNED THE WORLD IF I'D KNOWN ABOUT ALL OF THIS SOONER.
That said- some doctors will diagnose you, your friend, your dog and the kitchen sink with adhd... check the doctor out, his reputation, make sure that he's really listening to you, etc. Because. Honestly. Some people who claim to have adhd are just lazy morons who make those of us who are afflicted look bad.
We're not LAZY, we just can't FOCUS ... We climb walls day and night THINKING but we can't SETTLE AND DO ANYTHING -- having an adhd brain is like having full balls with your hands tied behind your back and say some woman is there to suck on your cock for 10 seconds.. then she leaves.. and she's back every say 30 minutes to suck it for another 10 seconds again .. imagine how frustrating that would be and you can understand ADHD
Well- guess what- it's very real. And it's a god damned nightmare from the pits of hell. After all of this time trying to figure out why I do certain things, I have my answer.
I do things like this
Thinking constantly about 100 things, can't fucking stop my racing thoughts
Can come up with solutions to 100 things or write out 100 good ideas but can't fucking do anything
Climb walls thinking about what I need to do but can't stay with ONE THING long enough
Write out all kinds of good ideas but it's useless because
I know that to anyone who isn't this way, it seems like laziness. It's not. When I can't do anything I climb up a wall. I can't sleep for 50 hours at a time, I don't eat anything I even and so stressed I forget to shower and shave
People who say it's not real aren't helping, but I do understand why they say it and think it- because I was one of them for 28 years
Adderall is a fucking miracle, for me. I know that it's amp salts and that normal people can use it to get a high, so everyone thinks it has no legitimate uses. Well. It does. When I take it, my thoughts stop racing, I'm able to cope with stressful situations and I get things done (such as internet work, and any projects I want to work on)
The downside is that if you take it when you're in the middle of a crisis situation it can make you what I call "action seeking". And it does cause me to not sleep for longer periods of time (without it- when I am stressed- I stay awake for a long time, anyway, it just allows that to be prolonged)
What I didn't know about adderall is that when it's wearing off and you have not slept for a long time.. you go into some kind of panic like state. I was in the middle of a hellstorm of bad things happening (tragedy and shit like that) and I was taking it ... not eating or sleeping for DAYS at a time ....
And though I've never been a gambler, or stupid enough to do something like this -- I ended up gambling every day, driving around aimlessly, sold everything I had off and lost my apartment and to top it all off I finally I ended up driving 122mph with alcohol in my system (I had been awake for 4 days and hadn't eaten or slept- I was a disaster)
I thought I was doing good by not abusing it (never taking more than X amount daily) but by letting it wear off and by NOT sleeping I apparently went into some kind of meltdown mode.
Now I'm hopelessly fucked and the one thing that seemed to help me kind of scares me. I never abused the stuff.. I would take 10mg 2-3 times per day and NEVER took more than that. Since I got into all of that trouble, I have only taken it a handfull of times.
Adderall has GREAT results for me when I am not in the middle of a crisis situation. It's damned amazing. I can be "normal" in that I can sit down, see a task through, think things through in steps, etc. It is a miracle, to me. It just has to be respected and you have to be careful of it.
I can't drive for two years, now and my cars and my home are gone. ADHD and medications for it both are VERY serious business. I feel that ADHD is why I climbed so many walls in my life while KNOWING what needed to be done yet being STRESSED TO HELL about everything that needed to be done instead of DOING IT --- I was NOT lazy -- if I was, I would not have been pacing floors worrying about doing everything.
As an aside - I'm not normal, I guess, I left school when I was twelve years old.. I had finished all grades including high school at age twelve. I was some kind of a boy genius, and I did make quite a bit of money for several years. When I started drinking everything went to hell - drinking was my way of "making my mind stop" - NOW I KNOW that I was self medicating, that whole time
If you suspect that you may have ADHD and you're drinking or smoking or ANYTHING like that - do your research and get it figured out. DO NOT end up like me. DO NOT let everyone tell you that ADHD isn't real. If I would have had a chance to address this, years ago, I might be alright now. There's not much hope as things stand. My home is gone, my cars are gone, I can't drive, I'm going to jail and I pretty much hate myself. DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!! SO MANY TALENTED INTELLIGENT PEOPLE LIKE US END UP LIKE THIS, BECAUSE WE'RE DIFFERENT- WHEN WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL. I COULD HAVE OWNED THE WORLD IF I'D KNOWN ABOUT ALL OF THIS SOONER.
That said- some doctors will diagnose you, your friend, your dog and the kitchen sink with adhd... check the doctor out, his reputation, make sure that he's really listening to you, etc. Because. Honestly. Some people who claim to have adhd are just lazy morons who make those of us who are afflicted look bad.
We're not LAZY, we just can't FOCUS ... We climb walls day and night THINKING but we can't SETTLE AND DO ANYTHING -- having an adhd brain is like having full balls with your hands tied behind your back and say some woman is there to suck on your cock for 10 seconds.. then she leaves.. and she's back every say 30 minutes to suck it for another 10 seconds again .. imagine how frustrating that would be and you can understand ADHD
imserious
Senior Member
- Mar 27, 2009
- 950
- 572
@fred2507 - Wow man, really sorry for you.
Yes, only those who have this can understand what is actually going on in the mind.
So many thoughts, so many ideas and very few end up getting done.
I totally get what you have gone through.
I have smoked 40 cigs a day when i was trying to self medicate ( didn't know at that time that this is self medication - i just wanted my brain to shut down and stop thinking )
and then 1 day i just gave up smoking.
Don't know what situation you are in but one thing which can help other than drugs is to have someone in your life you love and who loves you unconditionally.
It can be your mother, father, girlfriend, kids, wife or a friend. Anyone you love so much that you are ready to do anything for that person.
It will help in stopping you from taking disastrous decisions.
Yes, only those who have this can understand what is actually going on in the mind.
So many thoughts, so many ideas and very few end up getting done.
I totally get what you have gone through.
I have smoked 40 cigs a day when i was trying to self medicate ( didn't know at that time that this is self medication - i just wanted my brain to shut down and stop thinking )
and then 1 day i just gave up smoking.
Don't know what situation you are in but one thing which can help other than drugs is to have someone in your life you love and who loves you unconditionally.
It can be your mother, father, girlfriend, kids, wife or a friend. Anyone you love so much that you are ready to do anything for that person.
It will help in stopping you from taking disastrous decisions.
That is good advice... the problem was, that person you speak of .... she got sick and her physiological condition resulted in a nightmare of psychiatric problems with her.... it was a big nightmare .. I took care of her through it all, but it was just a nightmare. She finally just disappeared and I was so worried sick I pretty much lost it (I don't get close to anyone- but I am fiercely loyal, when I do).