darkmonk
Regular Member
- Nov 21, 2007
- 226
- 54
This.
I met my wife totally by accident, wasn't even looking for a relationship at the time let alone the rest.
Autumn is awesome. Except when there is a foot of snow before Halloween. But my wife and I love this time of year too.
Like anything in life, there are tradeoffs and advantages to each situation. When I was single, living the startup life and banking it, I had the freedom and the money to go anywhere and do anything I wanted almost whenever I wanted. But...it was still lonely. You can go to all the club openings and all the hottest events but after awhile...it just stops being fun. You don't want to be the old guy/gal in a place full of young 'uns that you can't connect with anymore. So, I get it...it does get lonely. Been there done that.
I would say time is the biggest advantage when you are single. The rest - money, things, cars, etc. - will leave you feeling empty because they aren't truly fulfilling. Take advantage of the time though. And remember to take the time to make the time for yourself too. Don't get so wrapped up in your work that you forget about the other interests/hobbies and things you want to do for you. When you are single, you can just pick up and decide on a Friday morning that you are going to fly to the islands for the weekend and just do it. Or, my old favorite, fly out to Vegas on a whim for the weekend. I used to love exploring places like museums, specialty shops, travelling and checking out different things just because it seemed like it would be cool...sometimes its nice to do it by yourself, your itinerary is whatever you want it to be.
In addition to the "don't go looking for it" point, I would also add keep an open mind. You may have some idealistic vision in your mind of the perfect person that is going to walk into your life - forget that. Be open to anything and hold no predispositions and, here's a cliche I know, don't judge a book by its cover. Because you just never know who is really going to connect with you at a deep level and give you true fulfillment.
Oh and the other point I wanted to make is don't put up with bullshit simply because you feel like you need the relationship. Its easy to fall into that trap. You will know when it is worth dealing with /fighting for etc. But if someone isn't treating you with the same respect you are giving them, cut em loose and don't waste your time and don't look back or second guess yourself.
I guess I should clarify part of the above...I'm writing it from the perspective that your in a similar spot I found myself in. If your younger then maybe the whole true fulfillment thing isn't as big a priority... But I got to a point where meaningless relationships weren't worth the time anymore. That said sometimes they are fun too. Time and a place for everything, right?
I think it is harder for women especially as you approach 30. I have noticed it in the past with a lot of my friends and relatives, as they got to be 28, 29, 30, the pressure from everyone around them to "find a guy" and settle down just seemed crazy. Its like there is some societal programming or something that says you must get married, have a kid, and buy a house or else you turn into a pumpkin. Don't fall into that trap either. You're already on BHW, which means to me you aren't susceptible to falling in line with what society dictates anyway.
I think you are way overthinking all of it. Don't try to find some problem with yourself, its not that. I also don't see being in Kentucky as too big of a problem. If you are thinking of moving, and you're business is making a little money, why not travel around the country a bit? Pick a city a weekend and make weekend trips? Chicago, Vegas, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Miami, New York, Seattle, Portland, etc. Hit all of them and see what you like and meet people in the process. Airfares aren't too bad anymore, or hop in the car and take a long weekend and drive. The other suggestion I was going to make is that you maybe hit up some of the affiliate marketing conferences. You'll get to meet like minded people who are into the same stuff and get to visit new cities and there's always good parties where you can socialize.
So yeah, lots of cliches above but the thing is...one day you wake up and realize they were right. Or at least I did.
