Seo jokes!!! :D

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keytenx

keytenx

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I was checking and deleting some files then i have discovered this seo jokes that i compile long time ago.. i don't know if you have heard of it but, cant stop smiling...:)

Why don't hyenas eat SEOs? Even hyenas have some dignity.

It has been discovered that SEOs are the larval stage of politicians.

Q: What did the SEO do on his honeymoon? A: He put a "nofollow" outside the door.

What's the difference between SEOs and vampires? Vampires only suck blood at night.

Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the SEOs? New Jersey got first pick

Two SEOs watching a girl with big boobs on trampoline? 1st: I hate it? 2nd: What, the trampoline? 1st: No the bounce rate.

How many SEO specialists does it take to change a lightbulb, light_bulb, light-bulb, light.bulb, light bulb?

Why won't sharks attack SEOs? Professional courtesy.

You know you are an SEO when:
Your first answer to any general question directed at you is "Google it
You repeat words every few seconds in the conversation.

What's an seo expert?
it's someone who speaks about an algorithm he doesn't know, guaranties a result he can't foresee,asks you a hell of a money while making you work on your website more than he does...

Why seo's prefer democracy to dictatorship?
because they love user generated content.

Why do seo's prefer to date smart, funny girls or guys, better than beautiful ones?
because they know search engines are blind and content is king.

What do blackhat SEO's eat on Thanksgiving?
A: Keyword stuffing

What do you call a dating service that only collects a fee when two people hit it off?
Pay per click.

What does a chiropractor fix?
Back links.

What do you call it when the prey hunts the hunter?
A trackback.

What's the difference between an accountant and a SEO?
Accountants know they're boring.

Why seo's never play golf?
they fear the sandbox.

Why seo's always live in a good suburb?
to avoid a bad neighbourhood.

What should you understand if an seo expert asks you for a date?
that he needs a backlink.

Why seo's are always excited to take the elevator down a building?
because they like to see (9...8...7..6..5.4.3..2..1)

P.S
I am not the author of this.. :D

My Favorite:

What's an seo expert?
it's someone who speaks about an algorithm he doesn't know, guaranties a result he can't foresee,asks you a hell of a money while making you work on your website more than he does...
:D
 
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haha I've got to admit, the first few weren't funny at all, but it got a lot better. Thanks for the couple minutes of laughter.
 
I liked this one

Why do seo's prefer to date smart, funny girls or guys, better than beautiful ones?
because they know search engines are blind and content is king.
Click to expand...
 
A plane crashed into a ship and a total of three people aboard both vessels died: a pirate, a lawyer, and an SEO. As their souls came before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates he looked them up and down with a thoughtful eye and said, ?We?ve been overrun lately so I only have two slots left in today?s quota. Why don?t you tell me about your lives and I?ll figure out who gets in and who stays out.?
The pirate burped and said, ?I?ve been drinkin? rum all me life, sailin? the seven seas, pillaging, piratin?, thievin?, and murderin? and I?ve got me regrets now that I see how bad I?ve been.?
?Fair enough,? Saint Peter said. ?And you??
The lawyer stood up straight, touched his fingers together in a steeple position, and said, ?I was one of Corporate America?s most in-demand attorneys. I have helped billionaires escape prison, corporations avoid paying fines for incredible environmental damage, and in my spare time I defrauded widows, orphans, and the elderly of all their life savings. I?m sure I could have lived a better life.?
?I see,? Saint Peter said with a bit of a disapproving tone in his voice. He turned eagerly to the third soul. ?And tell me about yourself,? he said quickly.
?Well,? the third soul replied, ?I was an SEO. I improved Google?s results for honest retailers and institutional Websites and helped to promote charitable organizations on the Web.?
Saint Peter immediately turned to the other two souls and said, ?Okay, you two can both go in.?
The SEO gasped and demanded to know why he wasn?t being admitted ahead of a blood-thirsty pirate and a cruel, greedy, heartless corporate lawyer. ?Because I know a spin when I hear one,? Saint Peter said. ?You can go stand in line with all the other SEOs who tried to feed me that same line of crap yesterday.?
 
hahahaha great jokes. Telling them to friends won't work tho... unless they know SEO. :p
 
What is SEO?

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Balthazshar said:
A plane crashed into a ship and a total of three people aboard both vessels died: a pirate, a lawyer, and an SEO. As their souls came before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates he looked them up and down with a thoughtful eye and said, ?We?ve been overrun lately so I only have two slots left in today?s quota. Why don?t you tell me about your lives and I?ll figure out who gets in and who stays out.?
The pirate burped and said, ?I?ve been drinkin? rum all me life, sailin? the seven seas, pillaging, piratin?, thievin?, and murderin? and I?ve got me regrets now that I see how bad I?ve been.?
?Fair enough,? Saint Peter said. ?And you??
The lawyer stood up straight, touched his fingers together in a steeple position, and said, ?I was one of Corporate America?s most in-demand attorneys. I have helped billionaires escape prison, corporations avoid paying fines for incredible environmental damage, and in my spare time I defrauded widows, orphans, and the elderly of all their life savings. I?m sure I could have lived a better life.?
?I see,? Saint Peter said with a bit of a disapproving tone in his voice. He turned eagerly to the third soul. ?And tell me about yourself,? he said quickly.
?Well,? the third soul replied, ?I was an SEO. I improved Google?s results for honest retailers and institutional Websites and helped to promote charitable organizations on the Web.?
Saint Peter immediately turned to the other two souls and said, ?Okay, you two can both go in.?
The SEO gasped and demanded to know why he wasn?t being admitted ahead of a blood-thirsty pirate and a cruel, greedy, heartless corporate lawyer. ?Because I know a spin when I hear one,? Saint Peter said. ?You can go stand in line with all the other SEOs who tried to feed me that same line of crap yesterday.?
Click to expand...

LOL! Damn, talk about busting a lung :D
 
LOL insane

Balthazshar said:
A plane crashed into a ship and a total of three people aboard both vessels died: a pirate, a lawyer, and an SEO. As their souls came before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates he looked them up and down with a thoughtful eye and said, ?We?ve been overrun lately so I only have two slots left in today?s quota. Why don?t you tell me about your lives and I?ll figure out who gets in and who stays out.?
The pirate burped and said, ?I?ve been drinkin? rum all me life, sailin? the seven seas, pillaging, piratin?, thievin?, and murderin? and I?ve got me regrets now that I see how bad I?ve been.?
?Fair enough,? Saint Peter said. ?And you??
The lawyer stood up straight, touched his fingers together in a steeple position, and said, ?I was one of Corporate America?s most in-demand attorneys. I have helped billionaires escape prison, corporations avoid paying fines for incredible environmental damage, and in my spare time I defrauded widows, orphans, and the elderly of all their life savings. I?m sure I could have lived a better life.?
?I see,? Saint Peter said with a bit of a disapproving tone in his voice. He turned eagerly to the third soul. ?And tell me about yourself,? he said quickly.
?Well,? the third soul replied, ?I was an SEO. I improved Google?s results for honest retailers and institutional Websites and helped to promote charitable organizations on the Web.?
Saint Peter immediately turned to the other two souls and said, ?Okay, you two can both go in.?
The SEO gasped and demanded to know why he wasn?t being admitted ahead of a blood-thirsty pirate and a cruel, greedy, heartless corporate lawyer. ?Because I know a spin when I hear one,? Saint Peter said. ?You can go stand in line with all the other SEOs who tried to feed me that same line of crap yesterday.?
Click to expand...
 
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