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Seo jokes!!! :D

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by keytenx, Dec 2, 2011.

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  1. keytenx

    keytenx Supreme Member

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    I was checking and deleting some files then i have discovered this seo jokes that i compile long time ago.. i don't know if you have heard of it but, cant stop smiling...:)

    Why don't hyenas eat SEOs? Even hyenas have some dignity.

    It has been discovered that SEOs are the larval stage of politicians.

    Q: What did the SEO do on his honeymoon? A: He put a "nofollow" outside the door.

    What's the difference between SEOs and vampires? Vampires only suck blood at night.

    Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the SEOs? New Jersey got first pick

    Two SEOs watching a girl with big boobs on trampoline? 1st: I hate it? 2nd: What, the trampoline? 1st: No the bounce rate.

    How many SEO specialists does it take to change a lightbulb, light_bulb, light-bulb, light.bulb, light bulb?

    Why won't sharks attack SEOs? Professional courtesy.

    You know you are an SEO when:
    Your first answer to any general question directed at you is "Google it
    You repeat words every few seconds in the conversation.

    What's an seo expert?
    it's someone who speaks about an algorithm he doesn't know, guaranties a result he can't foresee,asks you a hell of a money while making you work on your website more than he does...

    Why seo's prefer democracy to dictatorship?
    because they love user generated content.

    Why do seo's prefer to date smart, funny girls or guys, better than beautiful ones?
    because they know search engines are blind and content is king.

    What do blackhat SEO's eat on Thanksgiving?
    A: Keyword stuffing

    What do you call a dating service that only collects a fee when two people hit it off?
    Pay per click.

    What does a chiropractor fix?
    Back links.

    What do you call it when the prey hunts the hunter?
    A trackback.

    What's the difference between an accountant and a SEO?
    Accountants know they're boring.

    Why seo's never play golf?
    they fear the sandbox.

    Why seo's always live in a good suburb?
    to avoid a bad neighbourhood.

    What should you understand if an seo expert asks you for a date?
    that he needs a backlink.

    Why seo's are always excited to take the elevator down a building?
    because they like to see (9...8...7..6..5.4.3..2..1)


    P.S
    I am not the author of this.. :D

    My Favorite:

    What's an seo expert?
    it's someone who speaks about an algorithm he doesn't know, guaranties a result he can't foresee,asks you a hell of a money while making you work on your website more than he does...

    :D
     
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    Last edited: Dec 2, 2011
  2. rdx_karan

    rdx_karan Registered Member

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    hahaha...these ones are pretty hilarious ...
     
  3. arcticfang

    arcticfang Regular Member

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    haha I've got to admit, the first few weren't funny at all, but it got a lot better. Thanks for the couple minutes of laughter.
     
  4. Addicted

    Addicted Regular Member

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    good mate..

    these are best jokes on SEo...
     
  5. kirkonpolttaja

    kirkonpolttaja Senior Member

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    I liked this one

     
  6. Balthazshar

    Balthazshar Junior Member

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    A plane crashed into a ship and a total of three people aboard both vessels died: a pirate, a lawyer, and an SEO. As their souls came before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates he looked them up and down with a thoughtful eye and said, ?We?ve been overrun lately so I only have two slots left in today?s quota. Why don?t you tell me about your lives and I?ll figure out who gets in and who stays out.?
    The pirate burped and said, ?I?ve been drinkin? rum all me life, sailin? the seven seas, pillaging, piratin?, thievin?, and murderin? and I?ve got me regrets now that I see how bad I?ve been.?
    ?Fair enough,? Saint Peter said. ?And you??
    The lawyer stood up straight, touched his fingers together in a steeple position, and said, ?I was one of Corporate America?s most in-demand attorneys. I have helped billionaires escape prison, corporations avoid paying fines for incredible environmental damage, and in my spare time I defrauded widows, orphans, and the elderly of all their life savings. I?m sure I could have lived a better life.?
    ?I see,? Saint Peter said with a bit of a disapproving tone in his voice. He turned eagerly to the third soul. ?And tell me about yourself,? he said quickly.
    ?Well,? the third soul replied, ?I was an SEO. I improved Google?s results for honest retailers and institutional Websites and helped to promote charitable organizations on the Web.?
    Saint Peter immediately turned to the other two souls and said, ?Okay, you two can both go in.?
    The SEO gasped and demanded to know why he wasn?t being admitted ahead of a blood-thirsty pirate and a cruel, greedy, heartless corporate lawyer. ?Because I know a spin when I hear one,? Saint Peter said. ?You can go stand in line with all the other SEOs who tried to feed me that same line of crap yesterday.?
     
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  7. keytenx

    keytenx Supreme Member

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    :D LOL thanks for the addition buddy.
     
  8. LongBanana

    LongBanana Regular Member

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    hahahaha great jokes. Telling them to friends won't work tho... unless they know SEO. :p
     
  9. keytenx

    keytenx Supreme Member

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    yeah. only those who can understand SEO will laugh at it. :D
     
  10. Madruga

    Madruga Senior Member

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    What is SEO?

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Gamboloyd

    Gamboloyd Registered Member

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    Like this one too :)
     
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  12. arcticfang

    arcticfang Regular Member

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    LOL! Damn, talk about busting a lung :D
     
  13. Fuggz

    Fuggz Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2011
  14. dk2011

    dk2011 Newbie

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    LOL insane

     
  15. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    LOL, that was particularly smart :D
     
  16. IKbentim

    IKbentim Power Member

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    How many SEO experts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    एक
     
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  17. dk2011

    dk2011 Newbie

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    I think only one, but he will have to outsource to Fiverr for some help :)

     
  18. Oz0102

    Oz0102 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    haha..for $5 i'll provide 1k answers
     
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  19. partymarty4870

    partymarty4870 Elite Member

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    None - Who needs a lightbulb when you've got 3 monitors
     
  20. Troshi

    Troshi Senior Member

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    [​IMG]