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Proof that Google is God

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by zaldrak, Oct 14, 2010.

  1. zaldrak

    zaldrak Registered Member

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    Original source: http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/Scripture/Proof_Google_Is_God.html


    » PROOF #1

    Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

    » PROOF #2

    Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

    » PROOF #3

    Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

    » PROOF #4

    Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

    » PROOF #5

    Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

    » PROOF #6

    Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

    » PROOF #7

    Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

    » PROOF #8

    According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.

    God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods", as shown in the image below (click to enlarge).

    [​IMG]

    » PROOF #9

    Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.
     
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  2. Maruk

    Maruk Power Member

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    lol I liked that.
    Imma say a prayer now.
     
  3. HelloInsomnia

    HelloInsomnia Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Well for #8 if you look in insights you will see that Yahoo is searched for more than Google in the Google search...
     
  4. The Scarlet Pimp

    The Scarlet Pimp Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    the hate-mail is funny... and weird.
     
  5. Gradimir Stankovic

    Gradimir Stankovic Power Member

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    Most of stuff from there is not correct.

    1. It knows what we humans know, and our knowledge is tiny compared to all existing knowledge.
    2. Google is not even close to everywhere, space is infinite and google isn't.
    3. LOL, you call search a prayer? So you pray to bhw or any other site when you type something in search?? HAHAHAHA
    5. Google can be destroyed forever in just couple of seconds. What if you throw nuclear bomb at their data centers?
    5. It's not infinite and Internet can't grow forever because of hard discs (or any other storage device), to store data you need them, and you can't create unlimited hard discs (or other storage devices) because you can't get unlimited ammounts of materials which are used to create them nor enough space on Earth to place them.
    6. It doesn't remember your thoughts or your feelings, only your websites...
    7. LOL, you trust them? They are much more evil than you think...
    8. According to common sense, people say (or think about) words "God" or "Jesus" or "Allah" (etc.) each day much more than entire Google Search (for any keyword) for that day...
    9. Google is just bunch of binary codes (1 and 0), nothing else.
    Also, there is more evidence about you or me or anybody else than about any religion or god, and we are not gods.

    Sorry for my English....
     
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  6. zaldrak

    zaldrak Registered Member

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    In case you didn't notice, this post and the site I linked are intended as a joke.
     
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  7. shin610

    shin610 Regular Member

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    Google is my god and I'm devoted to him. Google bless you all.
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
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  8. charlie3

    charlie3 Senior Member

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    You didn't actually think he really thought Google was actually God did you? Really? :eek:
     
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  9. flibbertigibbet

    flibbertigibbet Regular Member

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    ROTFLMAO!! :lmao: Love it.
     
  10. charlietree

    charlietree Registered Member

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    Why would you search "google" in Google??? Lol that would be pretty dumb...

    This is great though for real!
     
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  11. boxed

    boxed Registered Member

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    hehe nice article bro
     
  12. Alexfrance

    Alexfrance Regular Member

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    A few years ago there was an article on CNN Money about this topic
     
  13. aldragon

    aldragon Power Member

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    Fvck that
     
  14. patmiller27

    patmiller27 BANNED BANNED

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    Google reads through all my personal emails... so that it can find a few keywords out of them... and then show some ads and earn some money...

    No this can not be God!
     
  15. oblio421

    oblio421 Newbie

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    yes it is:scool:
     
  16. _unknown_

    _unknown_ Junior Member

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    Lol, this is proof that science cannot prove God
     
  17. Erik Creed

    Erik Creed BANNED BANNED Premium Member

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    and the humans worshipped their idols/plastic-computers...
     
  18. General Tyrant

    General Tyrant Newbie

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    And so begins the birth of a cult...
     
  19. Grizzy

    Grizzy Senior Member

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    Well I guess we should round up a couple of virgins and get them up on the old sacrificial alter before the next PR update occurs.
     
  20. zaldrak

    zaldrak Registered Member

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    Nah, Google likes ladies that have been "backlinked" a lot.