I am not the author of this story!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted
new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for
each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how
to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, Let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I am smarter than her.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted
new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for
each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how
to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, Let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I am smarter than her.
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