I am not the author of this story! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I am smarter than her.
Im sorry man this is to long to read but this part made me laugh haha This should be in your Signature
OOOOOMMMMMGGG!!! We love it, but then again, if I ever pulled that on amanda... welll... Here's how it would go... Amanda: Well honey, you may have gotten laid for it, but well, now lets see what this adds up to be... Jason: Adds up???? Amanda: LOL, i control your wallet, BI*** and i have it.... So you are out of luck... your still buying me the stuff, and not getting the fringe benefits... Jason: it was your money anyways, just in my wallet... So who gets the last laugh here??? The story will continue. Jason AND Amanda... Yeah impromptu comedy...
Hahaha... the jokes on you because you're not having sex tonight - idiot. Plus, I agree that your sig should be what the guy above said. And thanks for the laugh!
Buy stuff to a girl, which you think you might get some sex with her. Which ended up with nothing. Go buy a whore instead on street if you are that desperate .. :-D - Haha.
My hero. I pulled a similar stunt on new years 2 days ago. As you can assume we both spent new years alone. Well she thinks that. I went out with my mate and got smashed. She stayed at her place sulking.
Ehhh...with an attitudes like that you both kinda of deserve each other. Please look beyond the gender stereotypes; there is so much more to life.
Taxi ride: $20 Time wasted: $2h The look on her face... priceless For everything else there's Mastercard & BHW thanks for the laugh mate. doesn't matter if you actually did that but it was funny as hell to read it.
You're probably not going to be having sex anytime soon either. You may have won this battle, but.....
