My dreams and ambitions or her?

Hi everyone a short story of my life:

I was born in Italy never had the opportunity to finish my studies. When I turned 16 my parents decided that for my future we should all move to Sweden. Worst decision ever since I had to spend 3 years to learn the language.

But during my period in Sweden, I met the girl of my life she was 3 years younger than me. We were eachothers' first time and I was so happy I could lose my virginity with someone I loved. But most stories does not have an happy ending.

At a certain point (when I was 19) my parents once again decided that for my future we should all move to the UK. I had to leave my friends and the love of my life. I was so sad of this decision and my girlfriend was too and she was pissed as well.

2 years went by I'm 21 and she is almost 19 during this period we called each other sometimes but that's all about it. In this 2 years, I didn't got engaged with anyone, not even a single kiss.

While I know that she got 2 other boyfriends I'm kinda sad about that as she didn't even spoke about it. But I would be totally destroyed if I get to know if she had sex with them.

I tried also to go on vacation with her, tried to buy her stuff be she always replied with a no.

Next year I'm about to enter in Uclan to study criminology and forensic science. I would love to be an immigration officer/border security officer or even a police officer. As I know three languages this would totally improve the chances of me getting this kind job.

Distance is a huge issue and neither of us wants to have a "distance relationship". She is the kind of person that's wants to see if your chatting with anyone on your phone while she will keep her phone a secret.

Should I just forget her and move on? Achieve my dreams with someone else? I don't feel like trusting any other girl especially for the large quantities of gold diggers around (not every girl is a gold digger i know but it's so hard to find " the one").

Any serious advice is highly appreciated.

Dating hat forums - do what you feel and think is right.

Time to move on OP.

Just think, mind acts the way mind is trained. You made your situation idealistic, because you never had options. Allow yourself more options, as the other minds are doing the same. If you spend more time to realize this, it will cost you more suffer. Long story short, it's over. Come back to her place once you're done with your career, to just blast her mind. Since this part won't come out of your head never.

For anyone in the UK who listens to radio, this reminds me of Steve Wright and his Radio 2 romantic stories of woe, with the soft gentle music playing in the background.


OP

Life is too short. You are young, move on and make something with your life.
This should tell you a bit about your situation; I tried also to go on vacation with her, tried to buy her stuff be she always replied with a no

SHE'S NOT INTERESTED! Gifts aren't what every girl wants/needs, with her she might just like getting banged on a regular basis.

Go out and see the world, gain more confidence with other women, then in a years or 2 speak to her again and if she notices how much you have changed, she may be interested then.

You seek love by the sounds of it, maybe as she's so young she seeks lust and isn't ready to settle down.

OP, you think she had two boyfriends and didn't have sex with them? I know it hurts, but that's life.

Move on. Don't throw it all away because it might not even work out. If you're really in love with her, and if she's really in love with you, then get her to move to the UK.

Before I get into the relationship stuff, I’m curious why you’re on a blackhat SEO forum with ambitions of being a border patrol officer. Why not go into SEO/PPC? Rank websites? Start a company? It’s your life, do what makes you happy, but your ambitions seem a bit low to me.

To the relationship. If she had 2 “boyfriends” (meaning, more than just one date) especially at age 19, there’s about a... 90% chance she had sex with at least one of them. Sorry but it is what it is.

If all you want in life is to be a border patrol officer, and the chick is hot... get her and go do that. You can do those two things at once. However if you want the cash like many of us here, and want to be entrepreneur, pursue your dream and do not chase the girl (until later).

Either way, try to not burn any bridges. I still occasionally talk to the girl who was my first (hers too) even though she’s married now. It will be better for you both short and long-term if you avoid all the drama.

You should Move on
99.8% girl is selfish and continuously moving their umbrella where they could get benefits

She is the kind of person that's wants to see if your chatting with anyone on your phone
while she will keep her phone a secret.

enough said.

Akanagi said:

I tried also to go on vacation with her, tried to buy her stuff be she always replied with a no.

Click to expand...

And that's where you have to stand your ground, respect yourself and tell yourself "Hey, i know i am a great guy. If she doesn't want to go on vacation with me, fuck her. It's her loss"

Akanagi said:

Distance is a huge issue and neither of us wants to have a "distance relationship". She is the kind of person that's wants to see if your chatting with anyone on your phone while she will keep her phone a secret.

Click to expand...

Dealbreaker. These are the type of people that will cheat on you and then will blame it on you, because it is your fault that she cheated on you with someone else.

Akanagi said:

Should I just forget her and move on? Achieve my dreams with someone else? I don't feel like trusting any other girl especially for the large quantities of gold diggers around (not every girl is a gold digger i know but it's so hard to find " the one").

Click to expand...

Bro, im assuming you haven't had that many Girlfriends yet, i know its hard to let go of someone that you love and thought she was "the one" - Trust me, there are a ton of people that you can have fun with, have great relationships with. It's a matter of time and improving yourself. What you need to focus on is to improve yourself and be a good match for your upcoming partner.


And let me tell you something, if your "dream girl" would wanna see you, trust me man, she would. She says no because she is not interested in you anymore. Its hard to face the truth but it's time to move on.

Your dreams and goals must always come first.

Leave her be; she is not into you. Focus on yourself.

Odds are if she knew you had 2-3 other girls, she would be interested.
That is how brains of the girls in that age work, having fun, excitement, fire.

I don't mean to be rude, you seem like a good guy, but being good is not what attracts girls.

MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON
I can't say this enough times. I just solved a very similar problem in my life with a girl. It was messing up my life so much, even though it wasn't her fault and it was just my mind and thoughts. I finally cut her off, blocked her everywhere, flushed her from my life. And now after a month, it seems like the best decision ever. It feels like why didn't I do this before?
You should bid her farewell and cut all the communications to move on. Trust me, after you do it you'll feel that it was a very good decision. Right now you don't want to let her go because she seems like your only chance of intimacy. But since she has already moved on, you have to too. And meet some new girls in the country you are in right now, who have similar interests like you. This will also motivate you to pursue your goals with your new partner.

Here's a great ebook to read which will help you make the decision:
https://www.filehosting.org/file/details/766129/The Rational Male.pdf

Sounds like you need to move on like she already did many years ago. Sorry! :[

OP
In no particular order:

1. CONSENSUS: Take the general consensus here and move on.

2. DISTANCE: You are in another country, of course a young girl wants to flirt, date, and do whatever with boys/men... it makes them feel good... they need attention. You on the other hand are too far away. By the way, when she is lonely, she calls/messages you... in between dates, she calls/messages you... because young girls need/want constant attention. Distance relationships do not work, because there is no in-person physical interaction/contact. Plus, "out of site, out of mind."

3. SEX: Of course she is having sex, guys won't continue to date a girl unless she is "putting out." No sex, no dates... that's a reality for this girl. I'm sure you understand that.

4. CHEATING: if she wants to know your business, but doesn't share hers... she is cheating. No doubt, 100%.

5. AGE: Why would anyone as young as you want to stay tied down this early in life? Why let someone control you? Go have fun, get drunk, and be the guy who is dating another fool's long distance girlfriend.

6. HAPPINESS: OP, you don't sound happy. Don't put yourself through this and get over it. Plenty of fish in the sea. In the future, do whatever YOU want. All the work you do is for YOU. Do what makes YOU happy. This is sad, you lost your girlfriend because you moved. Get over it, and look for happiness elsewhere. This shit is a drag.

7. AMSTERDAM: Correct me if I am wrong, I think a trip from UK is fairly close. You can, make a trip to the red light district, and you will probably get over this almost instantaneously.

Hope that helps, get over this and move on. This is only going to wear you down. Stop calling or messaging this girl, leave her in the twilight zone. Oh, and let me know if you are going #7, I may accompany you on the voyage.

Move on instantly, now. Do not waste your life for this. I speak from extensive experience
Chase your dreams

Move. You are wasting your time. Don't put women on a pedestral.

The sooner you let go the old cheese, the faster you will find new cheese. - from the book 'Who moved my cheese'

I have read just the title, and I can already answer your question: your dreams and ambitions

Forget about her. Otherwise you're going to mess up your life waiting for her, and you won't even get her.