My community is a hoax

[Joe Helpful]

Hello,

So for those who have not read my other threads, I am a digital marketer who lives inside an amish community.

My entire community is a hoax, my mother knows and she told me this must be a secret for us only and my 8 siblings but I cannot stand this. Why must my family live without modern technology just because my hypocrite father says we should?

Today I caught father in the barn when he thought he was alone, I heard a *beep* followed by "OK Google, what's the best way to skin a cat"

My father liar, he has his own Google Pixel!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a man who killed a family member as he caught him with a game boy, who shunned my 4 year old brother for 9 weeks because he asked why he can't have an ipod. Who slap mother when she suggest we follow the goldstein family and go part Amish so she could get a dish washer instead of doing dished by hands.

This in my eyes is unacceptable. Why must I ride goats for 3 miles to the local library to use their computers?

This is 2017 ffs, why can't I have the technology.

Why is family stupid, why is father a hypocrite?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

 

[blogzandstuff]

You sure you you are on the right forum ? This is internet marketing

 

[Joe Helpful]

You sure you you are on the right forum ? This is internet marketing

I saw a wizard ask if having sexual intercourse is ok on the first date earlier.

I figured this was ok also.

 

[mickyfu]

It gets boring the second time round.

 

[Zwielicht]

Why not move out?

 

[blogzandstuff]

Why must I ride goats for 3 miles to the local library to use their computers?

You have a local library, in the UK the government are closing ours!

 

[swon]

Why must I ride goats for 3 miles to the local library to use their computers?

I'm pretty sure its faster to walk than to ride a goat? Forgive me if i'm wrong, i dont have any experience in goat riding. Unless you use goats like sleigh dogs, now that would be interesting...

 

[datsunguy]

oh, boy. never change BHW.

I enjoyed the previous thread more, felt more true to how an amish man would speak.


skinning cats is bad, mk'kay. you should whip him for that.

 

[blogzandstuff]

I'm pretty sure its faster to walk than to ride a goat? Forgive me if i'm wrong, i dont have any experience in goat riding. Unless you use goats like sleigh dogs, now that would be interesting...

Well he might have a very fast goat, with go faster stripes on it and everything

 

[swon]

Well he might have a very fast goat, with go faster stripes on it and everything

if thats the case, then i hope he wears his helmet. ...or straw hat... wool hat... ...the bible?

 

[troin]

Some people are milking, fucking or eating goats, but I have never heard that they are also used for riding.

 

[Reaver]

Some people are milking, fucking or eating goats, but I have never heard that they are also used for riding.

Goat riding is an Olympic sport. Or at least it was. When they figured out the goats were being given steroids based on the great white shark's DNA in order to carry their riders and run faster, they got rid of it.

 

[Hawkster]

My dog just farted and it stinks

 

[davids355]

I just ate a cat.

 

[anon7]

Why must I ride goats for 3 miles to the local library to use their computers?

I've heard rumours in your community that you might be the son of a motherless goat.

 

[Reaver]

I just ate a cat.

Did it taste better than peanut butter?

 

[blogzandstuff]

I just ate a cat.

Was it a kit kat

 

[swon]

Goat riding is an Olympic sport. Or at least it was. When they figured out the goats were being given steroids based on the great white shark's DNA in order to carry their riders and run faster, they got rid of it.

Yes! Believe it or not, this was the end result of the "buffed" goats. this particular goat was an Olympic champion. (later died from heart failure):

 

[thaqu]

First we have a guy who believes he is somekind of interdimensional wizard and now we have a proclaimed amish dude who has succes selling his fucking vegetables through IM. Oh BHW, how I love you

 

[umerjutt00]

Ride goat to reach the library.. lol