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My community is a hoax

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Joe Helpful, Jan 31, 2017.

  1. Joe Helpful

    Joe Helpful Newbie

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    Hello,

    So for those who have not read my other threads, I am a digital marketer who lives inside an amish community.

    My entire community is a hoax, my mother knows and she told me this must be a secret for us only and my 8 siblings but I cannot stand this. Why must my family live without modern technology just because my hypocrite father says we should?

    Today I caught father in the barn when he thought he was alone, I heard a *beep* followed by "OK Google, what's the best way to skin a cat"

    My father liar, he has his own Google Pixel!!!!!!!!!!!

    This is a man who killed a family member as he caught him with a game boy, who shunned my 4 year old brother for 9 weeks because he asked why he can't have an ipod. Who slap mother when she suggest we follow the goldstein family and go part Amish so she could get a dish washer instead of doing dished by hands.

    This in my eyes is unacceptable. Why must I ride goats for 3 miles to the local library to use their computers?

    This is 2017 ffs, why can't I have the technology.

    Why is family stupid, why is father a hypocrite?

    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
     
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  2. blogzandstuff

    blogzandstuff Elite Member

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    You sure you you are on the right forum ? This is internet marketing
     
  3. Joe Helpful

    Joe Helpful Newbie

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    I saw a wizard ask if having sexual intercourse is ok on the first date earlier.

    I figured this was ok also.
     
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  4. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    It gets boring the second time round.
     
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  5. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Why not move out?
     
  6. blogzandstuff

    blogzandstuff Elite Member

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    You have a local library, in the UK the government are closing ours!
     
  7. swon

    swon Junior Member

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    I'm pretty sure its faster to walk than to ride a goat? Forgive me if i'm wrong, i dont have any experience in goat riding. Unless you use goats like sleigh dogs, now that would be interesting...
     
  8. datsunguy

    datsunguy Supreme Member

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    oh, boy. never change BHW.

    I enjoyed the previous thread more, felt more true to how an amish man would speak.


    skinning cats is bad, mk'kay. you should whip him for that.
     
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  9. blogzandstuff

    blogzandstuff Elite Member

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    Well he might have a very fast goat, with go faster stripes on it and everything
     
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  10. swon

    swon Junior Member

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    if thats the case, then i hope he wears his helmet.o_O ...or straw hat... wool hat... ...the bible? :confused:
     
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  11. troin

    troin Junior Member

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    Some people are milking, fucking or eating goats, but I have never heard that they are also used for riding. :confused:
     
  12. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Goat riding is an Olympic sport. Or at least it was. When they figured out the goats were being given steroids based on the great white shark's DNA in order to carry their riders and run faster, they got rid of it.
     
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  13. Hawkster

    Hawkster Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  14. davids355

    davids355 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I just ate a cat.
     
  15. anon7

    anon7 Newbie

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    I've heard rumours in your community that you might be the son of a motherless goat.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2017
  16. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Did it taste better than peanut butter?
     
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  17. blogzandstuff

    blogzandstuff Elite Member

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    Was it a kit kat
     
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  18. swon

    swon Junior Member

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    Yes! Believe it or not, this was the end result of the "buffed" goats. this particular goat was an Olympic champion. (later died from heart failure):
    72e7bd2525ea0b5351e4f4418a72a0b3.jpg
     
  19. thaqu

    thaqu Registered Member

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    First we have a guy who believes he is somekind of interdimensional wizard and now we have a proclaimed amish dude who has succes selling his fucking vegetables through IM. Oh BHW, how I love you
     
  20. umerjutt00

    umerjutt00 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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