Misses caught me! FML
- Thread starter TeamUnique
- Start date
B. Friendly
BANNED
- Jun 10, 2012
- 386
- 482
As soon as she comes home tonight, start acting crazy and yelling and stuff, saying things like "I can't TAKE this ANYMORE" and "I'm TIRED of being ABUSED" and steadily escalate this into a fever pitch, to include grabbing some plates from the kitchen and throw them violently on the floor. Threaten to call the police if she doesn't stop.
Then, when she informs you that she's not doing anything, that in fact it's YOU that are acting crazy, then fall into a crumpled heap in the middle of the floor (make sure to do this in full view of the children, or even better family, friends or neighbors) and then sob hysterically while saying things like "That's RIGHT! You never do ANYTHING except make false ACCUSATIONS"
Now here's the hard part. You have to either maintain the wildly uncontrolled sobbing, or shift back into angry/crazy mode. At some point, she will sense that she can only talk to you while you are sobbing and wailing uncontrollably, and it will be at that point that she will apologize to you for all the things that she has done. Make her promise that she will never "do it again", and if she asks "what" then you start sobbing uncontrollably again.
With patient and determined effort, you should have her doing most of the housework, and buying things like cordless screwguns and Nitrous Oxide Booster Systems for your car. This would also be a good time to start talking about that 3-way fantasy you've always wanted, but never had the courage to mention.
Then, when she informs you that she's not doing anything, that in fact it's YOU that are acting crazy, then fall into a crumpled heap in the middle of the floor (make sure to do this in full view of the children, or even better family, friends or neighbors) and then sob hysterically while saying things like "That's RIGHT! You never do ANYTHING except make false ACCUSATIONS"
Now here's the hard part. You have to either maintain the wildly uncontrolled sobbing, or shift back into angry/crazy mode. At some point, she will sense that she can only talk to you while you are sobbing and wailing uncontrollably, and it will be at that point that she will apologize to you for all the things that she has done. Make her promise that she will never "do it again", and if she asks "what" then you start sobbing uncontrollably again.
With patient and determined effort, you should have her doing most of the housework, and buying things like cordless screwguns and Nitrous Oxide Booster Systems for your car. This would also be a good time to start talking about that 3-way fantasy you've always wanted, but never had the courage to mention.