Letter 2 The Passport Office

This letter is a thing of beauty (even if the language is a bit
rough).. .You definitely feel the guy's pain! An actual letter to
the passport office...


Dear sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot
believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and
telephone number and knows that I bought a cable t.v. from them
back in 1987, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me
where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you
have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax
forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health
insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight damn
passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms
I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the
last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are
done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be
absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I
die!!!!!!

I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an'
me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to
my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address.

What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin'
there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't
want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and
park my ass on a sandy beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit
whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever
got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, beli eve
you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of
the city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to
the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the
services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new
passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be to damn easy and maybe
makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin'
place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole
to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know,the
one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin'
morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!


Signed
- An Irate Citizen.


P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting
someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this
country since 1776 ........ I have served in the military for
something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the
vingyang ........ However, I have to get someone'important' to
verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND
RAISED IN INDIA !

Sincerely,

You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who.

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