Is there anyone offering Guaranteed SEO ranking?

"Come on, seriously? Im paying you PEANUTS and these are the results I get??? A monkey could do better work - and I would know, because, well, I dont do SEO and I clearly know less than a pile of horse shit about how search engines work, but... I do some web stuff! Its easy! Look, cant you just... put the words in there, like, more often?? Fuckin imbeciles!"

I believe there are around 1000 algorithm changes a year now. Thats just with google. This isnt the 90's anymore man, you need to change your thinking and do a little research on a thing called "Rankbrain"
 
The OP should be asking a different question. In life, nothing is guaranteed except death. Now having said all that it is true some of the backlinks sold online including on this forum can be considered toxic. Most people fail to realize that Google employs people that are required to join different SEO forums and make a note of backlink providers and hot topics. Since most ranking data are now hidden by Google, we're all forced to use back engineering to find out what works. To make matters worse, most people use INDEXING SERVICES, which in my opinion is like a road map to where you buried the dead bodies.

Unfortunately, SEO result is now determined by how much you have to invest. There are SEO agencies that employ ex-Google employees with insider knowledge about ranking perimeters. Goodluck finding one or affording the monthly fees.

So, to the OP, if you want clean food you better learn how to cook at home. The following might get you decent ranking results:

1 - Good keyword research. You can do it yourself or buy the services offered by some excellent providers on this forum.

2 - Build a well-optimized website with great content. Nowadays, deploying great content is a must, especially if you lack the funds for insider knowledge SEO. I have come across excellent writers on this forum, but be prepared to pay $25 to $30 or more for 1000 words.

3 - Learn about PBNs and do your best to build your own. Stay away from most of the PBNs sold here except for those with a monthly subscription business model. A good seller of powerful domains is @Nargil.

4 - Getting Editorial links is now a must to establish trustworthiness in the eyes of Google. Just one link from Forbes, the NYTimes, etc will do wonders for your ranking.

Doing the above will improve your rankings.

Finally, if your website is new pray you do not run across a vengeful competitor that will nuke your site with toxic links. Yes in this day in age, Google considers you guilty for any backlinks that appear for your website until you can prove otherwise.
 
Hi,
Here are five solid reasons that compel SEOmoz as well as the many companies we work with to stay far away from any "guarantee" of search engine rankings.
1: SEO & Guarantees Have an Abominable History
2: The Search Engines Expressly Warn Against It
3: Rankings are Inherently Unstable
4: Rankings are a Poor Metric for Overall Performance

5: Making Guarantees About Something You Cannot Control Carries Inherent Ethical Problems
 
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