Smitty
BANNED
- Jan 31, 2008
- 633
- 374
I just have to say something...
Coconuts are really amazing.
No, I'm not talking about the awesome things (hopefully) most of
you guys (or girls) have either grabbed, bit, tickled, nibbled,
massaged, rabbit-punched, or sucked on as a kid.
I'm talking about the food. While boobs are still far far superior,
the coconut has many amazing uses.
These uses will be extremely valuable when you get stranded on
a desert island which happens to have nothing but coconut trees.
(I said when not if because new data shows that 97.24% of
everyone on earth will be stranded on an island at least once in
their lifetime. A guy in a white coat did the research, so you
know its good.)
So what happens when you get stranded?
Well, here are just a few uses of these big nuts to help you out...
1. Rub the inside of the nut between your hands to create an oil.
The oil can be used for numerous things. It makes an excellent
sunblock for one, which is handy if you get stranded naked.
(For Men: If stranded with a woman, massage the oil into her
hair. She will want sex immediately, so do that, then move on
to number two)
2. Drink the milk and then eat the inside of the coconut. You could
probably stay alive for about 43 days (made that up) by just
eating coconuts and nothing else. Coconuts are a superfood
and a great source of excellent fat and vitamins which will keep
you going. And this type of fat will help you lose weight so you
can look slimmer and sexier everyday you're stranded.
3. If you're stranded with someone you aren't fond of, hit them over
the head with your nut. They will be out for a few hours, which
will leave you enough time to push their ass out to sea on a piece
of balsa wood.
4. If you get bored, coconuts make awesome footballs. This is great
when stranded with about 2-3 people. If by yourself, you are
not only the quarter back you're also the wide receiver. I'm just
saying you're gonna have to be fast.
But then again...
If you were stranded on an island you probably wouldn't be playing
football.
Irregardless (<---Not a real word)...
What happens if the island doesn't have coconut trees????
Have I got the solution for YOU!
You can buy MY coconuts... 29 or two fo 50. You can pack em in
a bag and store them for later.
And trust me, you will need them because the white lab coat guys
proved you will be stranded in your lifetime.
Don't you want to be prepared if there are no coconut trees?
Because you never know when you might get stranded on a desert
island with nothing but the bag that contains your purchased
coconuts.
Don't leave anything to chance...
Call today!
P.S. This is a limited time offer because the coconuts are completely
rotten.
Come on now, this was in the lounge. Did you expect anything different.
Why did I write this? Who knows, could be because I just ate a piece of
coconut.
Maybe someone can use it down the line for a salepage if they are selling
coconuts on an island where people get stranded. Pass them out as
flyers or something.
Irregardless (theres that made up word again), it is late I'm out.
Email if interested (in the coconuts).
Coconuts are really amazing.
No, I'm not talking about the awesome things (hopefully) most of
you guys (or girls) have either grabbed, bit, tickled, nibbled,
massaged, rabbit-punched, or sucked on as a kid.
I'm talking about the food. While boobs are still far far superior,
the coconut has many amazing uses.
These uses will be extremely valuable when you get stranded on
a desert island which happens to have nothing but coconut trees.
(I said when not if because new data shows that 97.24% of
everyone on earth will be stranded on an island at least once in
their lifetime. A guy in a white coat did the research, so you
know its good.)
So what happens when you get stranded?
Well, here are just a few uses of these big nuts to help you out...
1. Rub the inside of the nut between your hands to create an oil.
The oil can be used for numerous things. It makes an excellent
sunblock for one, which is handy if you get stranded naked.
(For Men: If stranded with a woman, massage the oil into her
hair. She will want sex immediately, so do that, then move on
to number two)
2. Drink the milk and then eat the inside of the coconut. You could
probably stay alive for about 43 days (made that up) by just
eating coconuts and nothing else. Coconuts are a superfood
and a great source of excellent fat and vitamins which will keep
you going. And this type of fat will help you lose weight so you
can look slimmer and sexier everyday you're stranded.
3. If you're stranded with someone you aren't fond of, hit them over
the head with your nut. They will be out for a few hours, which
will leave you enough time to push their ass out to sea on a piece
of balsa wood.
4. If you get bored, coconuts make awesome footballs. This is great
when stranded with about 2-3 people. If by yourself, you are
not only the quarter back you're also the wide receiver. I'm just
saying you're gonna have to be fast.
But then again...
If you were stranded on an island you probably wouldn't be playing
football.
Irregardless (<---Not a real word)...
What happens if the island doesn't have coconut trees????
Have I got the solution for YOU!
You can buy MY coconuts... 29 or two fo 50. You can pack em in
a bag and store them for later.
And trust me, you will need them because the white lab coat guys
proved you will be stranded in your lifetime.
Don't you want to be prepared if there are no coconut trees?
Because you never know when you might get stranded on a desert
island with nothing but the bag that contains your purchased
coconuts.
Don't leave anything to chance...
Call today!
P.S. This is a limited time offer because the coconuts are completely
rotten.
Come on now, this was in the lounge. Did you expect anything different.
Why did I write this? Who knows, could be because I just ate a piece of
coconut.
Maybe someone can use it down the line for a salepage if they are selling
coconuts on an island where people get stranded. Pass them out as
flyers or something.
Irregardless (theres that made up word again), it is late I'm out.
Email if interested (in the coconuts).
