Thanks Jared I appreciate that.
I'm not going to argue with anyone else about weed I just want to update about the positive experiences I've had since I stopped 18 days ago. Like I said, this is my second time quitting. Last time I made it 10 months. This time I'm trying to go 10 years.
1. No hyposomnia - I no longer need to sleep 10 hours / day.
2. No laying in bed for 1-2 hours when I DO wake up. When I wake up now within 5 minutes I'm brimming with energy.
3. I only need to sleep 7-8 hours now and it's a much deeper nights rest. I know that weed messes with the REM cycle of your sleep, so you sleep lighter and for longer. Now I sleep deep, I actually have dreams, and it's amazing how much energy I have throughout the day.
4. I never even realized how depressed I was till I stopped. I feel so freaking happy now it's unbelievable.
5. Memory is coming back like crazy. Just between memory and sleep I want to say I'm saving around 4-6 hours day.
6. No forgetting where the keys are, or where my wallet is, or where the letter "A" is on the keyboard. I can type much much faster. Memory all around is getting very sharp now.
7. Sense of smell has improved. I never realized your olfactory senses are directly related to memory and my nose is discovering all types of new & wonderful smells. Example: I live 30 ft from the beach and finally I can smell the ocean again. I honestly can't remember the last time I could smell the sea water.
8. My vision has gotten clearer. No bullshit. I can read much faster, take in information much faster, respond to signs on the road faster. I feel sharp like an Eagle.
9. Music sounds 1000xs better. I get
goosebumps when I listen to it now. Same thing happened last time I quit and I'm not sure why all I know is it's awesome.
10. I can speak much clearer and articulate words better. No more mumbling. My tongue simply doesn't get "twisted" anymore. Like before, I'd always have to slow down just to pronounced certain words... now they roll of my tongue effortlessly.
11. Sex drive is going through the roof. Since all my senses seem to be improving, I notice myself getting hornier much more often. Before I'd masturbate like once a month max. Now I feel the urge to do it everyday. I think this is because weed raises estrogen (my nutrition professor in college told me this) and to compensate your body suppresses testosterone.
12. No more "bloaty" look. I look much drier. At the same time my skin looks much cleaner, more red than gray and it also seems to be "glowing".
13. I can strike up conversations far more easily now. This past week I've found myself talking to nearly everyone. Today I struck up a conversation with 2 old women at the dollar store while buying halloween decorations. We spoke for almost 15 minutes FFS!!!
14. I'm more interested in people in general, what they have to say, and feel much more "available".
15. Starting to cope with stress better.
16. This one's really crazy. Apparently, when I was smoking weed I had a serious case of OCD and did not even realize it. For instance, I was always doube, triple and quadruple checking everything I did. I don't know why. Like I'd straighten papers on the table. I'd stare a pictures on the wall and think they were crooked. Anytime I wrote an email, post, message, anything I had to read and reread it 5-10 times before sending or posting. Almost like I didn't trust myself and always had to be looking for problems. It's really hard to explain but I can truly sit down and feel relaxed now w/out my mind racing over random useless shit.
17. Motivation. I have gotten more done in these last 18 days than I've gotten done in the last 3 months (no bullshit).
18. I find myself calling my mother, father, brother and family members much more often. I find myself having better conversations with them. Like I actually care to have a connection with my relatives now.
19. My temper isn't so short anymore! It's unbelievable. Someone cut me off on the road today and I actually smiled!!! It was the weirdest. fucking. thing. ever. I had the right of way, they peeled out right in front of me and I had to stomp on my breaks. But then I simply thought, "that person's stupid" and I actually believed it. Rather than honking my horn and going apeshit like a child. It was crazy how easy it was to drop and not take it personal.
20. I can go on all day long. But my outlook for the future is clearer, brighter and far more optimistic.
Am I still getting cravings? Hell yes. Every 2-3 hours I find myself thinking, "man I'd
really love to get blitzed right now, just sit back and detach from the world". That's the 1 thing I miss about weed is escaping reality and drifting off into my own little world. Saturdays seem to be the worst. Like as the weekend approaches I find myself thinking about smoking more and more. And I know tomorrow will be a bad day as far as cravings go. But I've planned a lot of shit in hopes to tire myself out, that way when night comes I can just hit the sack and pass out.
Finally, I'd like to rethank that guy who dropped the link for this thread:
http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=19212
I find that when I get really bad cravings, I immediately go to that thread and remind myself why I'm doing this. And I honestly think if he did not show me that thread there's a great chance I would have relapsed by now.
But I'm not.
I'm gonna fight this shit as much as I can. Because I know by month 3, cravings will be a breeze to deal with. I know this from the last time I quit. And I know if I do light up, my current mindset won't allow me to enjoy it. As good as it will feel, I'll be putting my life back on the roulette table. I'll be sacrificing all the new and wonderful things I've been experiencing these past few weeks. Like that conversation I had today with those 2 old ladies. As crazy as it may sound, it inspired me deeply. And I feel like I inspired them too. I want to meet more people, get out more, get back to growing my business, get back to developing myself, meet a girl, stop being a fucking stoner.... and discover who the "real me" is. The real me is definitely not a pothead. I'm better than that shit and I know it. Life is such a precious gift and I refuse to flush another minute down toilet.
-BB
