I did something REALLY stupid...

Smeltzer said:
I know your boy-friend he is a good guy and you did not tell the whole story. Why not tell people how you told this other guy you wanted to make love to him?? Why I think that goes beyond flirting yes?
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Considering the context of the conversation we were in, it was a joke. He said, "What should I do with this sexy turkey baster?" and I said, "Make love to me." Yeah, it's stupid and sick, but that's our friendship. That's what it is and that's what it always was.
 
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You know it's really strange but I seem to be having the exact same problem. I'm the boyfriend and my girlfriend talks to this guy she's known forever and I think she crosses the line sometimes. What am I supposed to do? Ditch her for talking to a guy she's known forever? I could make her choose but then there comes the resentment.
 
Try to work it out if you love him. As love doesn't come round that often and sometimes you may never find the same type of love again. Life's to short to worry yes but its also to short to have nothing so make the most of everything you do so in this case the relationship with him!

Look at it from his prospective, if your flirting with another guy over the phone its natural for him to feel some way about it. But i guess if he knew this when he met you then i would presume he surely would have adapted to it by now.

Its hard to comment on these threads now as personal attributions can factor into all this so without knowing you both its hard to judge even though it may only be a un-bias opinion. Didn't want to jumble up your head but hope that helped in some way.
 
Honestly, is this the type of guy you want to be with?? Someone who is jealous and controling? He would never be cool with your "guy" friends...he would always be wondering what's going on.

You feel like you violated the trust, but what about him? I think he violated it too for not trusting you.

Listen, this guy isn't the only guy in the world. There are a lot of great guys out there who will trust you, be cool with your friends etc. And there are A LOT of guys who will absloutely under no circumstances be confortable with you being friends with guys.

Watch "When Harry Met Sally" "...men and women can never be friends"

I don't think it is a matter of choosing between your boyfriend and your best friend. It is a matter of choosing the kind of man who is right for you; and yeah it means respecting boundaries.

I think most people would not be cool with their BF/GF having suggestive conversations with their BFF of the opposite sex...jokingly or not.

/lecture
 
simplebeans said:
Try to work it out if you love him. As love doesn't come round that often and sometimes you may never find the same type of love again. Life's to short to worry yes but its also to short to have nothing so make the most of everything you do so in this case the relationship with him!

Look at it from his prospective, if your flirting with another guy over the phone its natural for him to feel some way about it. But i guess if he knew this when he met you then i would presume he surely would have adapted to it by now.

Its hard to comment on these threads now as personal attributions can factor into all this so without knowing you both its hard to judge even though it may only be a un-bias opinion. Didn't want to jumble up your head but hope that helped in some way.
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Very insightful, thank you. My best friend and I have never talked on the phone or even met in person. He's just an internet friend that I've always felt close to in the friend kind of way. The kind of friend you can fart around and just laugh and not feel embarrassed... LoL You know?
 
I feel for you goddess. I don't know how old you are, or how long this relationship lasted, but I'm recently coming out of a many year relationship and it's been hell. However, there's nothing worse than a girlfriend who's a flirt. Please don't act this way because it makes your partner feel like a fool. I speak from experience as my girlfriend did this same thing to me and it ruined everything. I really hope things work out. IMHO there's nothing worse than single.
 
If your boyfriend was freaking over a friend who's halfway across the country to the point of breaking up it can only be one of two things...

1) He's insecure, inmature, and paranoid.
2) He's moving on for other reasons but blaming it on you instead of himself.

Someone that's comfortable in their own skin and secure with their relationships can easily discern between rational and irrational behavior. I think your old bf is the one with issues here.
 
He went into the relationship knowing this about you and now he is getting all weird about it? Sounds like he needs to chill out. Its not like you where screwing the guy, you where just talking to him? Wow, look, there are plenty of secure guys out there, its not like you need to be with one that freaks out over some phone conversations, what happens if you go out to dinner or something with your friend, what is he gonna do then. He either needs to chill out and respect the fact that you have friends or find a girl who he can control. It sounds like he just cant handle that and you should probably get over him and find someone who can. You say the trust is always ruined so what more can you do? Oh, and if he really loved and respected you he would not give you an ultimatum.
GrotesqueGoddess said:
First off, there have been a lot of relationship threads here lately... and the sheer number of them are getting annoying, honestly. I do post to them with the most heartfelt advice I can muster.

I can't believe I am making one of my own now. I just don't know where else to turn. I guess I am a bit of a hypocrite.

I won't go into too many details but my boyfriend broke up with me and I don't know what to do. He thinks I am secretly seeing my best friend (who is a guy... and a million miles away). I'm obviously NOT, but I admit we do say flirty things to each other. My boyfriend has always known this, as I disclosed that early on. Before you all say it... I know it's a bad fucking idea. I shouldn't have even continued talking to my best friend, but I did... and I was always open about it with my boyfriend. I thought being open about everything was enough.

I admit I said some things jokingly to my friend which crossed the line. At the time I didn't think anything of it, but now I regret it more than I can say. I've always had male friends, not female, so my interactions with men have always been a bit odd. I never hid anything on purpose... but my boyfriend seems to think I "verbally" cheated on him. I know why he would think that, but in all honesty, the things I said to my best friend were just in fun. I am such a fool. I ruined the trust... I broke his heart... I don't know what to do. Guys, please help me. What can I do? I am so lost without him. He's making me make a choice on who to be with... him or my best friend but I am not with my best friend so I can't answer that! I keep telling him that and he just won't believe me. Even if he does take me back, the trust is gone and no matter what I do, he'll always think I cheated.

I feel so gutted.
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yah. quit fucking around if you are serious. this what high school kids do and even a bit of college. but after that u cant do that kinda shit anymore. gota get serious. i kinda learned from my parents, u dont see ur mom or dad having a best friend of the opposite sex flirting with them.
 
I know your boy-friend he is a good guy and you did not tell the whole story. Why not tell people how you told this other guy you wanted to make love to him?? Why I think that goes beyond flirting yes?
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Yeah yeah all us chicks realy mean that about turkey basters :rolleyes:
Leave him alone he will be back ,if not you tried to tell him from the get go you had a best friend .BFFs are strange and say weird things because they have known each other so long or are connected in odd ways.I have 3 male bff's and 2 female were all odd but hubby just joined right in and all my bf loved him no jealousy at all. he is the one with the issue not you dear ;)
 
Sorry to hear that GG.

Being friends with your best friend is part of who you are - you can't disown your best friend, just like you can't change who you are.

It is one thing to make sacrifices for people you love, but wow, that's one hell of a sacrifice. If what you say is true (I'm not doubting u - just sayin'...) - then, it's not like this is some grievous, irreparable injustice or betrayal.

Sometimes, when people make such a big deal about something that doesn't warrant it -- you have to question their motives. Think to yourself - is this really what he's trippin' about, or is there something(s) else that have been bubbling under the surface, that he can't or won't discuss with you - but this incident or thing with your best friend is just a convenient scapegoat...

It's not like you've made a sudden change, and are all the sudden really flirty with your friend -- your b/f has known about this...

Anyway - I'm sorry to hear about this - I hope you two work it out.

GS
 
Your into turkey basters, that's hot.

You're a beautiful girl, who is into marketing, and from what you told me before, loves to cook and clean. So it's his fucking loss. I know that doesn't help. Guys are idiots.
 
scrupio said:
yah. quit fucking around if you are serious. this what high school kids do and even a bit of college. but after that u cant do that kinda shit anymore. gota get serious. i kinda learned from my parents, u dont see ur mom or dad having a best friend of the opposite sex flirting with them.
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Actually I never knew a stable or healthy relationship in my life, but I agree with what you are saying.
 
tonlilaz said:
to be honest, i tell my husband that he can look at any of my chat logs and emails....i've got nothing to hide..

i even tell him whos on my im lists, conversations we've had....and to never ever ever click on any of Harro's links in irc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH60ZTCq4Hg
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Yeah... he knows every time I talk to him and everything. I didn't intentionally hide anything from him.
 
Share his naked photos that I'M sure you have and monetize it on female forums. ;-)
 
Yeah man

Stop crying over spilt milk

Wtfpwnge and grotesque goddess shud get it on ....

my tuppence anyway



Turner
 
seo20 said:
Share his naked photos that I'M sure you have and monetize it on female forums. ;-)
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No man, you got it backwards, grab that revenge site script, then use your OWN photos and say something like "My boyfriend left me and I didn't do anything, so I figured I'd give him a reason."

You'll get a lot more conversions.
 
Erik said:
No man, you got it backwards, grab that revenge site script, then use your OWN photos and say something like "My boyfriend left me and I didn't do anything, so I figured I'd give him a reason."

You'll get a lot more conversions.
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Sick and brilliant. I love it. You should sell that "Breakup Revenge Method" on DP. I'm too lovesick to do it, myself, but I would. :p Kidding.
 
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