I can't make friends...

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Deleted member 1013995

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I always thought making friends is more difficult than getting sex

Maybe is because I feel I have to mask my autism too much and it's tiring

somehow girls are more tolerant to autistic behaviours

I don't want to believe that men are more toxic, but it seems like that

I can't make friends. Can you make friends?
 
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To be honest, the best and luckiest decision I ever made was getting a good therapist. I suffered from OCD for many years and was failing miserably at the "golden treatment" until I found a therapist that regarded me as a human being worth carrying for. How does this connect to making friends? Well after going through my pains and all things that I learned in early childhood I was able to slowly heal until a point came where I felt comfortable to actually make connections again with people. I don't want to be preachy or anything but people really need someone they can talk to fully and openly, and sadly/happily I was able to pay for that and slowly advance on the more emotional part of me.
 
Why do you even need friends? To look cool, to get an ego boost?

You can't "make" friends, it's a connection that naturally happens. It's a "click".

Problem with actively "trying" to make friends is that you're making an effort to please others, you show those sides of yourself which they want to see but deep down you know that's not you.

Don't look for friends, don't try to fit in. Work on self growth and everything else will fall in it's place.

Self-love is your best friend, my friend:)
 
There are so many stages in life, and each stage has the troubles of that stage.
You are at the stage where you want to make friends, so at this stage you need to have a wise style of dealing with people, because making friends is making heart.
 
Exchanger said:
I always thought making friends is more difficult than getting sex

Maybe is because I feel I have to mask my autism too much and it's tiring

somehow girls are more tolerant to autistic behaviours

I don't want to believe that men are more toxic, but it seems like that

I can't make friends. Can you make friends?
Click to expand...
Yes, I do make friends.
Making friend also shows your loyalty.
 
When i was new in the town, i went to social clubs (like art studios, theatre, workshops, woodcrafting etc.) i suggest you do the same. Find a social club that you like and go...
 
bluematter said:
Why do you even need friends?
Click to expand...
There are different personalities of human beings in the world, more contact with some friends, you can see the world from a different perspective

Also good friends are the family we pick
 
In this era you can make friends. but you can't find a trusted friend.1 or 2 % can be exceptional. also nowadays one night stand is more easy than make a trusted friend.
 
Exchanger said:
I always thought making friends is more difficult than getting sex

Maybe is because I feel I have to mask my autism too much and it's tiring

somehow girls are more tolerant to autistic behaviours

I don't want to believe that men are more toxic, but it seems like that

I can't make friends. Can you make friends?
Click to expand...
Your best friend is yourself bro first you have to give maximum love to yourself and poeples surroundings you , families, friend, neighbors, if you don't love yourself nobody will love you also take care of yourself and prayers very important no matter your religion
 
Real friends don't have time. Real friendship is that you understand that the other party has life too and you spend with each other maybe 2 days a month.
 
reaaski said:
Real friends don't have time. Real friendship is that you understand that the other party has life too and you spend with each other maybe 2 days a month.
Click to expand...
Last night I contacted my friend from middle school, we hadn't spoken in about two years.
 
It's quite the opposite for me. Girls don't like my autistic behavior and friends do.
I have made friends through gaming mostly, the easiest way.
 
Easiest way to make friends is working on and improving yourself.
If you do something that's hard, and you struggle and get better, others will see it and respect it. If they are on the same path, it'll just click between you.

IMO the easiest way is to pick up a hobby. Doesn't matter what it is - going to the gym, local chess club, whatever. The important thing is you like it and you stick with it.

If you improve, others will see it and at one point in time the ice will break, you will naturally start to interact with others there.
 
Have you been diagnosed with autism or is it just Reddit level conclusion that your behaviors are so unique that you classify as an autist according to Reddit criteria made up by users of those sites?

Reddit might spend a ton of time with you, but it isn't your best friend.
 
May i ask what benefits you attain from friends in your current situation? i dont have very many friends and im still very content with life, in fact the less people around me is less distraction and excuse to fuck around and not focus on myself mentally, physically and financially,
 
Sounds a bit cliche, but you will never have a fried if you keep masking parts of your identity.
Even if you do, they'll be friends with the guy you pretended to be.

I always struggled with this as well, found some friends in workplaces or kept some from highschool.
I don't really know about autistic behaviours but I guess I have some too and I never noticed.
 
The internet in a nutshell: put any disorder and mental illness, and specific coping mechanisms, and being different than an average person into the same bag, slap autism on it.

Psychology 101.

You get good grades? You stand out, you're an autist.
You don't drink vodka and poison your body? You stand out, you're an autist.
You drink vodka and poison your body? You stand out, you're an autist.

So what people do? They try to be average. But being average isn't the resolution.

Just meet wise and experienced people.

Calling someone that way is nothing more than practicing gaslighting which I consider of the lowest standards and I won't stand any relationship where this occurs more frequently than once a year.

Respect yourself. Nobody deserves just "any random group of friends". It's painful. You don't want that in reality.
 
Exchanger said:
I always thought making friends is more difficult than getting sex

Maybe is because I feel I have to mask my autism too much and it's tiring

somehow girls are more tolerant to autistic behaviours

I don't want to believe that men are more toxic, but it seems like that

I can't make friends. Can you make friends?
Click to expand...
I can see what you mean. I am diagnosed bi-polar and schizophrenia with history of drug abuse(clean for 10+ years now)

I am very bad in making friends as I am not very good in making small-talk or the normal conversations though I follow Pop-culture, sports to an extent.

However I joined the support group many years ago. I am friends with them now. They are all recovering addicts. I am very comfortable around them. My friends and I share the same taste in music, our conversations are easy.

If you don't have addiction as an issue try EA(emotional anonymous) support group. If addiction is an issue then NA or AA.

I tried therapy, doctors till 2018/19. But I stopped therapy/ medicines(don't recommend this as it's tough initally). I just started writing my patterns, observed myself more. But I realized finally I had to get comfortable with my different state of minds and not be embarrassed.

But keep in mind you will still be happy with or without friends. Don't beat yourself up.
 
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