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How to grow Confidence?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by basitgul, Aug 4, 2015.

  1. basitgul

    basitgul Junior Member

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    Help me I can not talk with people..
    I have nothing to discuss with people around me.
    That's I have not a single friend.

    Help me How to talk actively?
     
  2. mindmaster

    mindmaster Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    So you don't need confidence.
    You need common interests with other people.
    Start small to test the waters (generic stuff, weather, maybe joking). You will not be friend with every one you talk with. So Start, Test, Exit. Repeat with others and identify those that you get along with.
     
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  3. zsimpson22

    zsimpson22 Regular Member

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    Staying by yourself all the time, can make anyone socially awkward. I have noticed over and over when I stay isolated from people, and stay on my computer for days at a time, when I leave the house I can't quite communicate the same. I was a server at a steakhouse for awhile, gained lots of friends and learned many, many, social skills throughout the job. The job itself sucked. But the ability to talk to people and keep small talk going is invaluable. Just practice. Start in facebook groups or chat room type environments if you need to, to learn what questions to ask and what answers to questions you can work on, to keep a conversation going. Questions are the key to keeping something going. There is always more questions to ask. Whoever is asking all the questions in the conversation, subconsciously humans make them out to be the dominant one in the situation. You will have other people feeling like they did not communicate as well as you, as long as you keep the questions relevant, and keep them coming.
     
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  4. Tuff Dreamer

    Tuff Dreamer Registered Member

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    Why do you want to communicate with all the idiots that inhabit this world anyway?? :).
     
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  5. Sombrero

    Sombrero Senior Member

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    Go outside enjoy things you like and you'll meet people.
     
  6. Not Ste Hughes

    Not Ste Hughes BANNED BANNED

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    buy a prostitute and turn yourself into a man.

    it does wonders for people.
     
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  7. archon10

    archon10 BANNED BANNED

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    Confidence is a euphemism for not giving a shit. You'll get more confidence the more you don't give a shit what people think.
     
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  8. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    -Go to your local horticulture supply store and pick up 1 seed of confidence.

    -Sow this seed around other plants; contrary to what you may think, the other plants will not prevent the seed from sprouting as the seed needs to grow around other, more mature plants.

    -When the seed begins to sprout, make sure it gets 4-8 hours of sunlight a day.

    -Keep watch over it and take note of any abnormalities.

    -After the seed sprouts, it'll gain momentum and grow exponentially faster as the beginning stages were the hardest.

    -Keep nurturing the plant until it grows into a full-sized confidence plant. Days to maturity often vary between seeds.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 4, 2015
  9. mar16

    mar16 Newbie

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    It takes time to build "confidence" - talking to people.

    Start small - ask people the time, where is the (insert place), etc.

    Also do you have any interests - sports, gym, etc?
     
  10. HoneyHelper

    HoneyHelper Supreme Member

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    Do some Yoga to build confidence and inner comfort !
     
  11. MyspaceisstillCool

    MyspaceisstillCool BANNED BANNED

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    Kind of in the same boat in that ive become a recluse and havent had any proper friends for years. I feel suicidal alot tbh.

    Try meetup.com

    My mom keeps prodding me to do more socially and i think her encouragment is inspiring me to finally do it.

    Im gonna try a couple of social meetups this week.

    Perhaps we could encourage one another
     
  12. karupoiss

    karupoiss Elite Member

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    You can check out Real Social Dynamics. Their main focus is getting good with women but the main principles they teach apply to making new friends as well.
     
  13. WizGizmo

    WizGizmo Super Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Start taking Martial Arts classes.

    Excellent way to build confidence! :cool:
     
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  14. PinguSpy

    PinguSpy Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Confident is arrogant.

    Be arrogant and you'll automatically become confident.

    But just take the positive side of arrogant.
     
  15. bojan92

    bojan92 Regular Member

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    You have to have people with similar interests like yours. So you can share your experiences on topics you both love. So try to find out what you like and start searching for that kind of people.
     
  16. Rank 360

    Rank 360 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    You need confidence!!! raid our BHW forum. You get confidence!!!
     
  17. Worm99

    Worm99 Power Member

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  18. Capo Dei Capi

    Capo Dei Capi BANNED BANNED

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    Start drinking liquid confidence its easiest way.


    [​IMG]
     
  19. QueenOfHearts

    QueenOfHearts Registered Member

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    Go to YouTube, search for easy magic tricks.
    I'd recommend FreeMagicLive. He's a fun teacher and his tricks are very easy to master. You can also learn from 52kards, this one is a little more formal.

    Pick up a trick or two. Remember you're not trying to be a master magician, just for fun.

    Once you've practiced enough, go out.

    Go outside to a park, whatever and show people your magic trick.

    It takes a lot of courage to go up to these people and perform, but trust me it's worth it. Just go up to someone that seems bored in the park or just chilling and say "Hey do you wanna see a magic trick?"
    Throughout my one year of doing this, I've never had anyone say NO to me.

    It can scary, especially if you fail. But you'll come to the point where it doesn't matter to you. Why?

    First: They're strangers. You're never gonna see them again.
    Second: If you fail, they're never gonna say shit about it. They're gonna move on with their lives, and so are you.

    It gives a thick skin, and at the same time increasing your confidence.

    Best part of it all? The reactions on people's face once you succeed a trick. It's priceless.

    Watch this too.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2016
  20. Tuff Dreamer

    Tuff Dreamer Registered Member

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    Lmfao so your way of meeting people is by learning magic tricks through YouTube and bothering folks at random parks trying to take romantic walks and go on smoke breaks?? Gotta admit, this made me laugh a bit.

    Confidence comes through experience, you just gotta get out and do it. You can watch and read all the stuff on how to meet women, or how to accomplish a particular task. But doing it is when that true validation comes in to play, and can be addicting in a way. I'd recommend you go out clubbing or something, and meet the right people. Get zooted, you'll see that nobody really cares and everyone even might be dealing with the same issues you are.

    Remember reading something a while back, about anxiety. Someone said,

    "You ever think about maybe, how much you intimidate others versus the other way around?"

    Or,

    "I used to walk in to a room and wonder if they liked me, now I wonder if I like them."

    At the end of the day, not everyone can be this social phenom. And that's ok. I went through a phase where I was such a total loser, I hated myself and I hated waking up in the morning. But then I went through another phase where I felt like the king of everything. So embrace change, I guess.

    Diet and exercise can do wonders as well, you are what you eat. So if you're eating Oreo cookies and cheese pizza all the time, don't expect your body to like you for that. The food pyramid? Remember that? Try eating better, and working out. Be like Zyzz, brah.

    It's definitely hard though, in life I think you just gotta play to your strengths. And probably, the world is ready to receive you with open arms. You're just doing mental gymnastics to convince yourself otherwise. The brain isn't hard wired for comforts, only survival. So the people you see balling hard and living extravagant lifestyles are the results of a few factors, and one of them definitely isn't laziness or negative mindsets. If you think about it like that, those are the people who went against human nature and maybe got a bit lucky.

    Recommend you watch this,

    Type in in YouTube -- "Stop Negative Self-Talk - Guided Exercise."
     
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    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2016