Let me tell you a short story about my first job and a bit about myself.
When I was 18 years old, I wanted to get a job to find out what I really wanted out of a career and to "test my limits" socially. In case you didn't know, I'm diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome (now called "ASD"), which means the following in my case:
- I don't make eye contact
- I can't tell when it's my turn to talk.
- I can't relate to neurotypicals.
- I speak formally in every situation.
- I can't always tell what's socially appropriate.
- I wear sunglasses indoors due to my senses being hypersensitive.
- I repeat arbitrary phrases throughout the day (delayed echolalia).
- I often casually use neologisms around people who don't understand them.
- I have the social skills of a Pop-Tart.
- ... And we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of my issues.
I sent out 1 job application because 1 was all I needed; I was
confident that I could get my a job on my first try. There was no prior work experience on my résumé, only some volunteer, educational, and technical experience as well as some other generic information.
So there I was, walking in for my interview wearing sunglasses indoors, clothing that had never felt the touch of a tailor (*shudder*), and dress shoes that made me look like I just got out of clown school. I sat down across from the man interviewing me while I was trying my best not to let the interminable buzzing of the flickering lights inundate my senses. After about 30 minutes, I finished the interview leaving the interviewer impressed and received a call the same week letting me know that they would love to have me work there. So, just what the hell did I do to convince that company to hire me? Let me tell you exactly what I did.
- I researched the company and their competitors, and subsequently demonstrated my knowledge of the companies to the interviewer.
- I told the interviewer exactly what he wanted to hear during the questionnaire part of the interview, not what I would actually do.
- I paid attention to his personality type and did my best to describe myself in a way he could relate to.
- I mimicked his speech pattern and tone (most NTs won't notice this as long as it's gradual) to make him more comfortable when he was speaking with me.
- I feigned eye contact by looking at the mouth of the interviewer when it was necessary.
- I planned ahead for the questionnaire part of the interview by researching these questions and forming pre-meditated responses to all of them.
- I planned ahead for the part of the interview that didn't involve the standard questions. NTs always want to talk about the same crap (e.g., school, work, and sex), so think of every question they would ask you during an interview that isn't related to the standard interview questions. As an example, my interviewer asked me if I was in college and I said, "Yeah, I plan to become a nurse (lie) and I'm working hard toward my goal. Even though school is pretty tough (another lie because school work is easy), I won't give up on my goals". I told him this because he was a college graduate himself and NT college grads absolutely love hearing about the aspirations of the young and the difficulties of college classes that they went through.
Despite my idiosyncrasies, I was able to compensate for them throughout the interview and get a regular job. The point I'm trying to make is that if I was able to do it, then I'm sure you can as well with a bit of practise. While I don't physically have the issues you claim to have, if you think you have bad skin, then exfoliate. If you think you have yellow teeth, then use carbamide peroxide. If you think that you look gross and unhealthy, then start eating better and exercising. Invest in yourself. All of these improvements start with you, and as soon as you start improving yourself, other people will notice as well, including the people who interview you.
