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I'm UNEMPLOYABLE! What the f*ck is going on

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by snowberry, Feb 4, 2016.

  1. snowberry

    snowberry Newbie

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    I'll get to the point....I've always been unemployed, with the exception of 2 short temp jobs. I've mentioned this before but my big problem is shyness/social retardedness/anxiety and my appearance is ugly too which I'm sure employers care about (and I don't mean looking sloppy...just not being attractive or whatever, having sh*tty skin, yellow teeth, looking unhealthy and gross)


    I went to an unemployment help center and took a short paid training class for unemployed youth, supposedly to help them be employable and they claim that everyone who takes that class will guarantee to get an interview and job placement through them, b/c it's their job to convince employers that you're the perfect candidate and they bribe them with incentives like subsidizing your salary for x months

    I did get an interview for some lame part time office job (even though the goal for everyone is to get full time) I did everything I was supposed to. this is how the interview goes:

    - I dressed clean/appropriate/semi professional, groomed to my best ability (not easy)

    - was friendly to receptionist who followed me and joined me to the interview

    - I smiled, open body language, eye contact, took initiative to shake hands and greet interviewer

    - gave her my resume and cover letter (she already had a copy of my resume but seemed to like my cover letter)

    - was asked simple questions (no irrelevant BS that employers usually ask; tell about myself and highlighting my skills, can you use a computer/spreadsheet etc, what high school I went to and did I get that prestigious IB diploma

    - they asked if I went to post secondary and I said I did but dropped out, b/c the program was useless and irrelevant to the current job market (this is true, it was some useless arts-based communications/economics degree, but I didn't say it in those words)

    - why I left my last job, I said b/c it was a temp job

    - describe an example when I applied my awesome organizational skills; I stumbled a little with this and had to think fast so I just mentioned an incident at my temp job with vegetable packing. it was probably obvious I was trying to string a story together to make it relevant to being highly organized but then they're like "wow yeah you sure knew how to handle that situation and be organized" or whatever BS I can't remember, and then we laughed and all. It seemed like we had good rapport and they were both friendly

    - at one point I turned red/blushed b/c of nervousness even though there was no reason to be! I can't control that so I let it be

    - I emailed a thank you note later after the interview

    I asked my unemployment counselor who set up the interview when I will hear back, get feedback and he said the following week, which was last week, either he or the interviewer would get back to me. Didn't hear back from either, I called him Monday & said that I didn't hear back so he said he'll reach them and all....still nothing so far
    What the hell are they doing over there, I thought they were (from their words) "working our ass off to help you guys get a job". and they're supposed to help get everyone there a job b/c they're spending the governments'/tax payers' money to help the unemployed

    there were high school dropouts and people with criminal records in that youth class. this whole program is supposed to help losers get a job and overcome those employment obstacles and they say everyone who enrolls ends up with a job should they do their part and prepare for the interview & have a good resume etc....b/c they recommend you to employers & convince them to hire you
    I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the only one left whose still without a job....did I do something wrong at the interview, did they not like me cause lets be honest, there's something "off" about me. b/c they like other candidates better?

    Now I know the only reason I passed the interview for that previous temp job was b/c I was the only one who applied for that position at the time and they probably desperately needed someone asap. if I have any competition I'm screwed, someone is always better than me and it's obvious why

    I'm sick of this, I thought this was a sure thing, that I would finally get a job and circumstances would be forced to change but here I am still unemployed & in depression again, being angry and I don't feel motivated to do anything. and everyone keeps saying oh just get a job!


    What the hell is wrong with me
     
  2. healzer

    healzer Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    I guess shit like that happens to people like you?

    jokes aside, man the fck up.
     
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  3. Sherbert Hoover

    Sherbert Hoover Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    If you are comfortable with it, PM me your resume. I will edit it for you, no charge. I used to do that all the time back in college. Helped some people get some jobs they otherwise would not have.
     
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  4. lonny41

    lonny41 Regular Member

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    Nothing is wrong with you. you're anxious! Nobody with low self esteem is as bad as they think they are, and no one with high self esteem is as good as they think they are!

    Clearly you can write well you so you have a brain and are smart. Don't let your brain fuck you up with all those bad thoughts about yourself!

    In the meantime work on stuff online, make some money!
     
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  5. Nicheblogger

    Nicheblogger Regular Member

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    These statements are what is wrong with you. Nothing else most likely. You are talking like you are a leper who is completely worthless. Chances are you had a tough time in high school and you are still a little beaten down from it. It gets better as the years pass. You will become more social and gain confidence. The first thing you need to do is find something you are good at, embrace it. This will be a starting point to gaining a little confidence in life.
    You can't go around putting yourself down like some social pariah. Putting yourself down will only reinforce your social awkwardness and anxiety. Once you realize that you have a place in this world and you probably are better than most job candidates in some form, suddenly the world will begin falling at your feet. Until then, you are a victim who will never be any good at anything. Like Healzer say's above, Man the fck up and don't be a victim. Take life by the horns and put your dick in its ass.
     
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  6. Jared255

    Jared255 Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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    Last edited: Feb 5, 2016
  7. Dsingh

    Dsingh Newbie

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    1) Compare your resume to other resumes online and make necessary adjustments. Make it look more attractive. Small lies can go a long way when trying to land a job. I'm not saying to say that you worked at JP Morgan or anything like that but adding stuff like volunteer work that you never did but it looks good on a resume. Add "responsibilities" at your last job that could make you a more attractive candidate for the job you are applying for. Make the lie believable and also have an answer ready if they ask a specific question about it.

    2) Do research on the company and job you are applying for. Be knowledgeable about them and ask them questions. They will love to know that you really care and it will make you stand out. Even make it a lil interview for them and start asking them, how long have they have worked there, what do you like best about it, and just BS questions to act like you really care.

    3) PRACTICE an interview with a friend of yours. There are so many Q and A's available online for interviews. The question about "organizational skills".....if you were not ready for this question, you just did not prepare. ALWAYS PRACTICE and anticipate these types of questions.

    4) Be as confident as you can be and make eye contact when you answer questions or just talking to them in general.
     
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  8. 1morenoob

    1morenoob BANNED BANNED

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    had the same problem, started making decent cash online and blasting steroids, maybe bad advice but worked well for me lol
     
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  9. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Let me tell you a short story about my first job and a bit about myself.

    When I was 18 years old, I wanted to get a job to find out what I really wanted out of a career and to "test my limits" socially. In case you didn't know, I'm diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome (now called "ASD"), which means the following in my case:

    • I don't make eye contact
    • I can't tell when it's my turn to talk.
    • I can't relate to neurotypicals.
    • I speak formally in every situation.
    • I can't always tell what's socially appropriate.
    • I wear sunglasses indoors due to my senses being hypersensitive.
    • I repeat arbitrary phrases throughout the day (delayed echolalia).
    • I often casually use neologisms around people who don't understand them.
    • I have the social skills of a Pop-Tart.
    • ... And we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of my issues.
    I sent out 1 job application because 1 was all I needed; I was confident that I could get my a job on my first try. There was no prior work experience on my résumé, only some volunteer, educational, and technical experience as well as some other generic information.

    So there I was, walking in for my interview wearing sunglasses indoors, clothing that had never felt the touch of a tailor (*shudder*), and dress shoes that made me look like I just got out of clown school. I sat down across from the man interviewing me while I was trying my best not to let the interminable buzzing of the flickering lights inundate my senses. After about 30 minutes, I finished the interview leaving the interviewer impressed and received a call the same week letting me know that they would love to have me work there. So, just what the hell did I do to convince that company to hire me? Let me tell you exactly what I did.

    • I researched the company and their competitors, and subsequently demonstrated my knowledge of the companies to the interviewer.
    • I told the interviewer exactly what he wanted to hear during the questionnaire part of the interview, not what I would actually do.
    • I paid attention to his personality type and did my best to describe myself in a way he could relate to.
    • I mimicked his speech pattern and tone (most NTs won't notice this as long as it's gradual) to make him more comfortable when he was speaking with me.
    • I feigned eye contact by looking at the mouth of the interviewer when it was necessary.
    • I planned ahead for the questionnaire part of the interview by researching these questions and forming pre-meditated responses to all of them.
    • I planned ahead for the part of the interview that didn't involve the standard questions. NTs always want to talk about the same crap (e.g., school, work, and sex), so think of every question they would ask you during an interview that isn't related to the standard interview questions. As an example, my interviewer asked me if I was in college and I said, "Yeah, I plan to become a nurse (lie) and I'm working hard toward my goal. Even though school is pretty tough (another lie because school work is easy), I won't give up on my goals". I told him this because he was a college graduate himself and NT college grads absolutely love hearing about the aspirations of the young and the difficulties of college classes that they went through.
    Despite my idiosyncrasies, I was able to compensate for them throughout the interview and get a regular job. The point I'm trying to make is that if I was able to do it, then I'm sure you can as well with a bit of practise. While I don't physically have the issues you claim to have, if you think you have bad skin, then exfoliate. If you think you have yellow teeth, then use carbamide peroxide. If you think that you look gross and unhealthy, then start eating better and exercising. Invest in yourself. All of these improvements start with you, and as soon as you start improving yourself, other people will notice as well, including the people who interview you.
     
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    Last edited: Feb 5, 2016
  10. soulcollector

    soulcollector Senior Member

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    Its about the psychology, plain and simple. You never should ever feel comfortable to make educated guesses about someone unless you practice this art form in itself. I trained myself under strict rules that if the people I do business with don't perceive me as an absolute authoritative power then I simply won't engage in business with them. I spent countless months (solid months of about 18 hours of study daily because I was jobless) with my nose in sales psychology books, studying ads, etc. It pays off now but starting out I was dumb as most workers are. I get complimented daily about what a dynamic business man I am, and well it is all about psychology. These people perceive me to be of a great value, a asset. Sure, I make them tons of money but underneath it all it is all about their custom experience with me. I tailor my perception to reflect specific thoughts in people's heads so that I can further engage them and build their valued perception of me.

    The short answer to your magic solution is to study and practice psychology, not just reverse but sales psychology, social, etc. I can get into my mentor mode but I refuse to help someone who fails constantly to analyze and and take charge of their life.
     
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  11. PaulSmithAUS

    PaulSmithAUS Registered Member

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    Job hunting can also be a numbers game. If you apply for lots of jobs you will get a few interviews. The more often you go to interviews the more comfortable you will get as you will get similar questions in most interviews. Eventually you will be more confident and this will show and you will get a job. Don't worry if its not a job you want either, Get one job first and then keep applying for jobs you want.
     
  12. umerjutt00

    umerjutt00 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Why not give a try to IM? I mean you can keep searching for a job while also trying to make some money in IM (tons o method on bhw)
     
  13. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    OP, apply to McDonald's.
    (or any other type of establishment)

    Seriously, I am not joking. Force yourself. Yes, it sounds like you might have Depression, which can be a vicious circle. From your post it sounds like you have a low self image and are self-conscious of your appearance, so really try to work on it and try to spruce yourself up a little.

    It sounds like it has been some time that you have worked full time, so working some where that you have to serve customers and work with a varied work force, will do your confidence the world of good.

    Give it a shot for 3-6 months and then apply for the Jobs you really want, you should see an improvement in your social skills.

    Even if you want to make money online full time in the future, you can still learn something from working with other people now.

    When you are ready for you next interview Zwielicht has posted some great interview preparation tips #9
     
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  14. Penumbra

    Penumbra Power Member

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    Get some nice fresh pussy.
     
  15. JamesAtlas

    JamesAtlas Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Snowberry,

    Whatever you do, keep re-reading Zwielicht's post until you understand it. He literally wrote a spoon-fed/actionable/step-by-step guide on how you can achieve success.

    I wish I had seen a post like that when I needed it 10 years ago instead of the shitty, "Just be yourself" or other horseshit posts like that on the RichDadPoorDad Forum or TonyRobbins.
     
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  16. BlackhatBigfoot

    BlackhatBigfoot Regular Member

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    If you can't work for others you will have to work for yourself and be your own boss. I can't tell you exactly "how" to do that but you are certainly able to do that. I gave up working for others many years ago and I'm glad I did. Just reading how your interview went and the expected pandering of the candidate almost makes me physically ill. The last interview I went to, I told the interviewer to kiss my a**. That was over 20 years ago. Like one of the guys said in an earlier post, man up and lay siege to your dreams. You'll be surprised at the amazing things your mind will come up with to further your goals. Also read Napoleon Hill's little book, Think and Grow Rich. You'll be glad you did. Good luck making your own luck.
     
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  17. splishsplash

    splishsplash Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    You're looking to solve all your problems with fast money.

    Even if someone gave you $100mil right now, your life wouldn't change. You would have a couple months of fun, then the same old issues would creep back in under a different guise.

    You need to first take responsibility for your life and stop the pity party. You alternate between blaming everyone else, then feeling sorry for yourself. These are opposite extremes. Take responsibility, stop blaming others, and at the same time stop putting yourself down.

    Your entire life is your own fucking fault, accept it. That doesn't mean you're a loser, or broken. It just means your approach wasn't right. Take responsibility for it and try a new approach, one where you decide to be a responsible man and work hard.

    You are both afraid of working, and afraid of not working at the same time. Yes, there are a lot of hard working people who aren't successful, but there aren't many successful people who aren't hard working, and there aren't many hard working people who are depressed. Generally if you take responsibility and work hard it overcomes pity and depression and takes you to the next level. One where you can consider running your own business.

    Make your vision for 2016 to overcome your fear of hard work and take responsibility for everything bad that has happened and will happen.

    So go and get a job at mcdonalds. Work long long hard hours. Get up early. Exercise. Eat well. Read. Improve yourself and put money by every month. Work 60+ hours a week for a year. In 2017 reduce to part time and come back to blackhatworld with a 5 year plan to build your business.

    Do that and you'll have a prosperous life.
     
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  18. onelettershor

    onelettershor Supreme Member

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    Excellent advice above, but the main thing is yourself.

    If you walk in and think oh i'm not going to get this job then your mindset isn't right, walk in with confidence and think YOU ARE getting this job. It's yours
     
  19. Google Prince

    Google Prince Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I've had part time jobs since I was 18 and I basically do what Zwielicht does to get every job I've ever worked to this day. In fact I'm sometimes socially awkward as most times I get ant-social throughout the day.

    My advice would be go to places you want to work personally and talk to a manager, fill out an application. Do you have any friends that have jobs that are hiring? I've never relied on somebody getting a job for me, if I need it I go get it.

    I've also worked with some ugly ass people before (food industry), shit I'm not as good looking as I used to be and get pimple's from time to time. Either way I've learned to just not give a fuck, and whatever you put your mind to or want something like a "9-5" or "part time" job then trust me it's really not that hard to accomplish. Just my advice GL :thumb:
     
  20. davids355

    davids355 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    You just need to work on your confidence dude - don't call yourself ugly - remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    Keep taking as many interviews as you can and forget about everything except your confidence and appearance - forget about getting the job but make it your goal to work on how you come across, the impression you make and your confidence - the more you do it the better you will get and you will land a job before you know it.
     
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