Help Google Come Up With Future Algorithm Names!

sn0rt

sn0rt

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As we all know, Google likes to name their major updates.

Here's a list of some of Google's previous updates:
  • 2002: Boston (because name was documented and announced in SES Boston)
  • 2003: Cassandra, Dominic, Esmeralda, Fritz (followed hurricane naming strategy)
  • 2003: Florida (believed to be named after a bad hurricane season in FL)
  • 2005: Bourbon (Aligned with WMW New Orleans conference)
  • 2005-2006: Big Daddy (Suggested by a webmaster because kids called him BigDaddy)
  • 2008: Buffy (Named after Buffy the Vampire slayer, except here she was a link-spam slayer)
  • 2009: Vince (Named after one of their engineers)
  • 2010: Caffeine (gave the search engine a jolt as in increasing crawl and search speed)
  • 2011: Panda (Named after an engineer that worked on the project)
  • 2012: Penguin (Because they drop the ball at least once a year)
  • 2013: Hummingbird (Named due to the bird's speed and precision)

As we can see, Google incorporates a certain degree of irrelevancy to their update names.

How about we help them come up with names a little more relevant to their accomplishments.


To get the ball rolling, I'll start this off with a suggestion of my own:


Donkey-Dick (because they're stubborn, and don't get tired of trying to shit on people)




Disclaimer: This is all in good fun and in keeping with the highest of traditions in BHW--talking shit about google. I'm not some grouchy bastard that's been penalized and came on here to rant about it.
 
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Tabasco-Sauce (Looks shit, tastes bad, and leaves you regretting you ever had it)
 
OK, let them keep it animalistic - helminth or tapeworm update will be great for their next steps forward to the naseous SERP and anti-IM war.
 
In all honesty, Google really doesn't "fuck" anyone over. SEO is against their rules and is gaming the system. They want to eliminate that and make the naturally popular sites appear higher because they have good content. Think about it like this, Many SEOers (not all) have spammy websites. If they ranked high, and had no valuable content to the reader, would people want to use Google anymore? I certainly wouldn't. By doing SEO, you're actually fucking Google. They have a business they need to run too.
 
kaylanewett said:
In all honesty, Google really doesn't "fuck" anyone over. SEO is against their rules and is gaming the system. They want to eliminate that and make the naturally popular sites appear higher because they have good content. Think about it like this, Many SEOers (not all) have spammy websites. If they ranked high, and had no valuable content to the reader, would people want to use Google anymore? I certainly wouldn't. By doing SEO, you're actually fucking Google. They have a business they need to run too.
Click to expand...

Try to search for "proof that the world is 3d". There is only 1 such a proof, and its ranked 5th, right after 3d printers. Google sucks when it comes to long tail keywords for about a year now.
 
kaylanewett said:
In all honesty, Google really doesn't "fuck" anyone over. SEO is against their rules and is gaming the system. They want to eliminate that and make the naturally popular sites appear higher because they have good content. Think about it like this, Many SEOers (not all) have spammy websites. If they ranked high, and had no valuable content to the reader, would people want to use Google anymore? I certainly wouldn't. By doing SEO, you're actually fucking Google. They have a business they need to run too.
Click to expand...



Lack of better terms.

But,

Please tell me how they haven't miserably failed in accomplishing their goal and how jeopardizing many small-business websites is part of taking care of the consumers.

Perhaps to encourage them to use adwords?

But to get back on topic,


I guess you're going with;

Beer-Googles: Because things may seem a little distorted and not really appear as they are.
 
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Judas

I wanna see an update trashing all Moz/Fishd*ck ass-kissing, suck-ups.
Image one day waking up and seeing that Moz has been deindexed.
What a glory full day that would have been...lol
 
well said matt1972. Google doesnt cares.. so we have to go our way.. either white or black!
 
the-kashish said:
Judas

I wanna see an update trashing all Moz/Fishd*ck ass-kissing, suck-ups.
Image one day waking up and seeing that Moz has been deindexed.
What a glory full day that would have been...lol
Click to expand...

LMAO. This name actually made me laugh. hahaha
 
It's just like breaking the law. If you killed somebody, would you think it was unfair that you got put in jail? You would deserve it. Just like getting penalized. You wanna break the rules by building unnatural links and spam, expect serious consequences.
 
New Algo Name...Government (because it screws eveyone who cant pay to play)
 
kaylanewett said:
It's just like breaking the law. If you killed somebody, would you think it was unfair that you got put in jail? You would deserve it. Just like getting penalized. You wanna break the rules by building unnatural links and spam, expect serious consequences.
Click to expand...


3s69a7.jpg
 
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