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Help Google Come Up With Future Algorithm Names!

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by sn0rt, Oct 1, 2013.

  1. sn0rt

    sn0rt Elite Member

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    As we all know, Google likes to name their major updates.

    Here's a list of some of Google's previous updates:
    • 2002: Boston (because name was documented and announced in SES Boston)
    • 2003: Cassandra, Dominic, Esmeralda, Fritz (followed hurricane naming strategy)
    • 2003: Florida (believed to be named after a bad hurricane season in FL)
    • 2005: Bourbon (Aligned with WMW New Orleans conference)
    • 2005-2006: Big Daddy (Suggested by a webmaster because kids called him BigDaddy)
    • 2008: Buffy (Named after Buffy the Vampire slayer, except here she was a link-spam slayer)
    • 2009: Vince (Named after one of their engineers)
    • 2010: Caffeine (gave the search engine a jolt as in increasing crawl and search speed)
    • 2011: Panda (Named after an engineer that worked on the project)
    • 2012: Penguin (Because they drop the ball at least once a year)
    • 2013: Hummingbird (Named due to the bird's speed and precision)

    As we can see, Google incorporates a certain degree of irrelevancy to their update names.

    How about we help them come up with names a little more relevant to their accomplishments.


    To get the ball rolling, I'll start this off with a suggestion of my own:


    Donkey-Dick (because they're stubborn, and don't get tired of trying to shit on people)




    Disclaimer:
    This is all in good fun and in keeping with the highest of traditions in BHW--talking shit about google. I'm not some grouchy bastard that's been penalized and came on here to rant about it.
     
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    Last edited: Oct 2, 2013
  2. 00110011

    00110011 BANNED BANNED

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    Tabasco-Sauce (Looks shit, tastes bad, and leaves you regretting you ever had it)
     
  3. sn0rt

    sn0rt Elite Member

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    ..sounds more like Bad-Hooker
     
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  4. matt1972

    matt1972 Regular Member

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    Hooker-Spit (Use your imagination station)
     
  5. michael8t6

    michael8t6 Regular Member

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    hmm dare i :)

    Matt C*nts (self explantory)
     
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  6. liberox

    liberox Power Member

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    OK, let them keep it animalistic - helminth or tapeworm update will be great for their next steps forward to the naseous SERP and anti-IM war.
     
  7. lancis

    lancis Elite Member

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    Probably Captain Picard, because its going to be another facepalm.
     
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  8. kaylanewett

    kaylanewett Power Member

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    In all honesty, Google really doesn't "fuck" anyone over. SEO is against their rules and is gaming the system. They want to eliminate that and make the naturally popular sites appear higher because they have good content. Think about it like this, Many SEOers (not all) have spammy websites. If they ranked high, and had no valuable content to the reader, would people want to use Google anymore? I certainly wouldn't. By doing SEO, you're actually fucking Google. They have a business they need to run too.
     
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  9. lancis

    lancis Elite Member

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    Try to search for "proof that the world is 3d". There is only 1 such a proof, and its ranked 5th, right after 3d printers. Google sucks when it comes to long tail keywords for about a year now.
     
  10. sn0rt

    sn0rt Elite Member

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    Lack of better terms.

    But,

    Please tell me how they haven't miserably failed in accomplishing their goal and how jeopardizing many small-business websites is part of taking care of the consumers.

    Perhaps to encourage them to use adwords?

    But to get back on topic,


    I guess you're going with;

    Beer-Googles: Because things may seem a little distorted and not really appear as they are.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2013
  11. matt1972

    matt1972 Regular Member

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    G is on the same side of the fence as everyone else, just a larger entity. Their goal is to make money. They don't give a shit about you, me or any small business. They have enriched many, many lives and have destroyed financially many, many lives, but that is not the concern when profit meetings occur. It's about can they raise the profit margin and what rule can they bend and still look good to the public but meet the profit goal. I just made all that shit up.. G really cares about quality search results and giving the crème de la crème service.
     
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  12. the-kashish

    the-kashish Junior Member

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    Judas

    I wanna see an update trashing all Moz/Fishd*ck ass-kissing, suck-ups.
    Image one day waking up and seeing that Moz has been deindexed.
    What a glory full day that would have been...lol
     
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  13. innosoft

    innosoft Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    well said matt1972. Google doesnt cares.. so we have to go our way.. either white or black!
     
  14. sn0rt

    sn0rt Elite Member

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    LMAO. This name actually made me laugh. hahaha
     
  15. HerpDerpSlerp

    HerpDerpSlerp Power Member

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    cry-baby-butt hurt the ones that can't rank naturally and get pissy when their automated means get shut down.
     
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  16. sn0rt

    sn0rt Elite Member

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    Define: Ranking Naturally
     
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  17. kaylanewett

    kaylanewett Power Member

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    It's just like breaking the law. If you killed somebody, would you think it was unfair that you got put in jail? You would deserve it. Just like getting penalized. You wanna break the rules by building unnatural links and spam, expect serious consequences.
     
  18. SEORasta

    SEORasta Senior Member

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    New Algo Name...Government (because it screws eveyone who cant pay to play)
     
  19. virtual.indiano

    virtual.indiano Regular Member

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    Silicone boobs

    They look real but are actually fake (Just like their search results)
     
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  20. sn0rt

    sn0rt Elite Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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