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first ever squeeze page

Discussion in 'Making Money' started by vsaxena, Nov 4, 2012.

  1. vsaxena

    vsaxena Registered Member

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    I finally after much reading decided to build a squeeze page.

    Check me out: SmokeWithoutFear(.)com.

    Not trying to advertise it. I am trying to get it DESTROYED. Like rip into it. Criticize. Talk shit. Just keep my Mom's name out of this, lol.

    Tnx!
     
  2. loclhero

    loclhero Supreme Member

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    Looks pretty good to me! How are you going to drive traffic? Email?
     
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  3. vsaxena

    vsaxena Registered Member

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    Um. Solo ads. Traffic exchange. Maybe FB though IDK I'm HORRIBLE at social media marketing. I have Asperger's, so I'm a freak, lol. IDK yet. Would love to save Google, but Matt Cutts destroyed that.
     
  4. _swes_

    _swes_ BANNED BANNED

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    Don't listen to the first guy. Take it from me. It sucks.

    1) You need to offer benefits. Say how smoking could benefit you. Change your life, etc.
    2) take out that arrow in the middle, or make the headline bigger - it distracts me, and I don't know what I'm getting into. (Remember you only have max 4 seconds to grab the reader's attention.)
    3) Remember, benefits.

    I could go on and on about this. But that's just a start, and it would drastically improve your copy.
     
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  5. vsaxena

    vsaxena Registered Member

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    Thank you very much for the advice!
     
  6. ferma231

    ferma231 Elite Member

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    Seems pretty good.

    Can i ask you , what you used to build it?
     
  7. _swes_

    _swes_ BANNED BANNED

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    Repost the edited version. I'll tell you it sucks some more and insist you rewrite it. Often times I'll go through about 20 rewrites before I get a first draft of my copy. Then it's more rewrites again. And again. Until it's short, concise, benefit ridden, and to the point. (You see what I just did there?)

    It's optimizepress
     
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  8. ipwned

    ipwned Regular Member

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    I'm very quick to criticise poor web design but I'll be honest I kinda dig it. I don't know why, maybe it's because you got to the point quickly. But I like it!

    Also, keep the arrow!
     
  9. QualityContentWriter

    QualityContentWriter Junior Member

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    I'm going to assume that the first point here is a typo, because I really hope it is. The advice is right about offering more benefits but that would be benefits to quitting smoking. Good luck finding convincing benefits to smoking!

    So this is an ebook, great! Right off the bat you should talk about different methods of quitting smoking and why they suck. E-cigarettes, I hear the chemicals in those are even worse than the real thing and that a few people are suing major e-cig companies because the product exploded while they were puffing. (If you mention this, look up a credible resource. These are just rumors at this point.) Then there's cold turkey, cutting back, gum, patches, pills, etc. Be more specific and describe why they don't work. If possible, cite an actual paragraph from this book.

    It does need more.

    More benefits.

    More proof.

    More... value.

    But less is more. You have the right concept... short, sweet, and simple. Keep it simple. Don't go for the lengthy sales letter on this one (<personal opinion!) but do add more value, more relevance, more proof...
     
  10. dariobl

    dariobl BANNED BANNED

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    You should add a lot more information, maybe a video and, for sure, more images.

    Informative squeezed pages converts, not fancy ones.
     
  11. _swes_

    _swes_ BANNED BANNED

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    Typo? I think not. The benefits I'm talking about are the "dreams." Something that the reader hopes to achieve. Oh yeah, you could go simple and say "Quiut smoking so you become healthier."

    Or you could go out and be unique...and say:

    "Your family and friends would be very proud of you when you finally win that 50k marathon."

    That right there is a tangible, and emotional benefit, and would convert way more than just saying the normal "be more healthy" benefit.

    But to the OP. Just take a break and think about tangible reasons why someone should smoke. You'll figure it out.

     
  12. Tangy

    Tangy Regular Member

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    This squeeze page is far too short and is lacking in any sort of content that will excite the reader to convert by supplying their details in your form.

    Instead of offering you advice, I will suggest that you head over to http://unbounce.com and sign up for their free trial account. Take a look at their landing page templates for ideas, or ideally ditch what you're using and buy an account from them so you can promote your eBook with 10 or 20 different landers.

    The name of the game is split-testing, my friend...
     
  13. QualityContentWriter

    QualityContentWriter Junior Member

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    Not to go off topic debating this, but you just proved my point that this was a typo. You said "say how smoking could benefit you" but you MEANT "say how QUITTING smoking could benefit you." That's all. (Then again, you do seem quite confused because your approach is pro smoking still. But I digress...)

    The point is valid though, if you decide to turn this into a long form sales letter it's pretty standard to focus on benefits- not features.

    But like I said before, I would stick with the short and sweet and simple. Rather than convincing somebody about the benefits of quitting smoking (which would be redundant in this case, obviously they want to and they are looking for HOW to quit) you might want to compare other methods- gum, patches, e-cigs, cold turkey, etc.

    Don't get all hyped up... just name the common problems. Cause readers to associate their personal concerns and fears, highlighting the catches on why some methods don't work. Pull at the psychological heart strings, and subtly build value in the ebook but don't go overboard.

    Keep it short, sweet, and simple and when you DO mention the benefits, keep it user oriented. (Example- "Quitting smoking helps you breathe better" vs. "After 2 weeks, you'll be able to walk up 3 flights of stairs without wheezing or gasping!" (Obviously the latter is better.) Benefits vs. Features is one element to consider in the content- which you do need more of, but not too much. Did I say keep it short, sweet, and simple? It's a good start :)

     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2012
  14. educatedfool

    educatedfool Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    It looks nice to me, cos I'm just starting with CPA and email marketing. So that for me is good enough, but I don't even know how to create one like that.
     
  15. fistor

    fistor Regular Member

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    A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, i
    Lacks Information imo..

    If there are 2 Different Types of Readers; the Ones that love to get the headliners quick, and immediatly purchase/leave; and then the Ones that love to read, before they actually purchase/leave; my humble opinion is.. Why not target both ?

    You really should add Text at the Bottom for the Second group of Readers.
    And maybe some more "Eye-Candy" for the first.

    But that's just me. :)
     
  16. slipring

    slipring Registered Member

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    Your Download button doesn't do anything and your alert box is empty with no message. If you could get a png image rather than a jpg image of the book because you can see the out line of the book image...just my preference.
     
  17. QualityContentWriter

    QualityContentWriter Junior Member

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    Also, the domain is misleading. Smoke Without Fear... not a major issue but I'm hoping that's what led to the confusion with swes.
     
  18. khurramasgher

    khurramasgher Registered Member

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    Looks pretty good..maybe bring the bullet points up
     
  19. futurestunner

    futurestunner BANNED BANNED

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    download now

    Code:
    http://smokewithoutfear.com/PsychologyOfSmoking.pdf
     
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  20. vsaxena

    vsaxena Registered Member

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    WOW! Up and hungover. Reading through all this. Really appreciate the tips and advice. Lot of info to digest!